Online or IRL?

I enjoy being on this forum and on some other online sites. To me, the friends I make online are entirely real people and I care about them. I've had some online friendships that go back 13 years.

That said, I fairly often find myself getting upset about some problems that come up online, usually having to do with me feeling misunderstood or posted to in a not very considerate way (that happened on Facebook this morning; my friend probably didn't intend to be abrupt, but I took it that way and it's haunted me all morning).

Today it occurred to me that maybe I'm investing too much emotionally online. Outside of my family, I don't really have a social life. I facilitate a NAMI support group, a wonderful group of people, but that's not just a "fun social thing".

I'm not really asking for advice for myself. What I'm wondering is if others of you also use the internet for your primary social contacts, and if you do, how is it working for you? Are you okay with having mostly online friends or would you like to have more IRL friends?

The internet is all I have, yup.

After high school all of my friends either entirely left the state or to the other side of it and eventually out of it. I made a couple new friends while working retail, but then they moved out of state too... Then I got my current job, almost made one friend, but she was so busy with getting her nursing degree and her family that we never got to hang out. I'm sure she would have been a great friend for me too so I'm still really bummed that it never worked out.

I also tried to make IRL friends when I first moved to my current city by joining different groups, but I quickly found out I hate people my age in general. They're perverted, judgemental, and I'm too shy to have made anything out of the few who weren't like that.

It's quite depressing though only having online friends. Most people don't see it the way I do, we're not "real" and thus not as important, which is part of why they give up on me so much. It also means no physical hugs or cuddles, only the magic asterisk ones. What I wouldn't give for a real life cuddle...

My wife and I are agoraphobia to some extent and I don’t like crowds AT ALL! We don’t have a Facebook account, or any of the social media stuff. We call and text... that’s it.

The only forums I go too are Psych Central and a Buddhist forum. While we do meet my wife’s family for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, if we start to get overwhelmed, we go hide in the bedroom until it goes away.

Just about the only other time we go anywhere is the grocery store, to get meds and Dr appointments.

The only true interaction we have is online...

—-I have found the best of both worlds. I met my best real life friend on Nextdoor community website. Lots of info on community issues and great people to meet who are tight in yr neighborhood. I have a standing coffee date w my bff, a woman who complements me so much that it is eerie, even to the degree that she has a bipolar son Ana totally gets that!!!

I only have online friends and work colleagues.

I see online friends as quasi pen pals of sorts. I do have irl friendships and sometimes mix the online aspect into the irl friendships for depth. Many of my friends and family live quite far away, so adding social media helps maintain updates etc.

I think this is a good topic. Friendships are difficult for me and sometimes I wonder why I try so hard.

I used to be more involved with online friendships and decided I need IRL friendships. So I spent three years making an honest effort to develop healthy IRL friendships. I tried to be a good friend to others. I formed some social groups. I planned events. I bought people birthday cards and gifts. I made time for people. I did not develop one good friend out of all that effort. People were really nice and they were great about participating in the events I organized. Nobody ever reciprocated and invited me to anything though. When I had surgery and was home for several months, people did not check on me.

I stopped putting time and effort into IRL friendships to that degree. Even now when I make an effort, most people keep a distance and don’t invite me to things. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I did finally make a few nice friends in a volunteer group. Those are the only friends who have reciprocated my efforts at friendship.

Long story short, I value internet friendships as much as IRL friendships.

Most of my friends are online, im very anti social due to my anxiety.

I have both and both are important to me in their own way. I am a quite sociable person and extroverted. I need coffees and girls night outs. I also like chatting with people online because it's fun to have friends in different places. I have an online gaming friend in south Africa. I mailed him pop tarts to try. Fun.