Am I wrong?

Hi all,
It's been a while since I posted anything but I can't get an appointment with a therapist until September and need some help.

So here's the problem. My aunt was diagnosed with a brain tumor and I took her into my home to try to help. Recently her condition has become much worse, to the point I feel she needs constant care. I can't do that as I have to travel for work.

I went today to start the paperwork to get her Medicaid so that she could afford a nursing home. Came home told her the news and she flipped. Called me all kinds of names and said things that you can't take back. Threatened to call the cops on me and have me charge with elder abuse because I can't take care of her. Now I'm at the point of trying to have her removed from my home. I'm scared to go home because I think she will fall, call the police, and blame me. I'm sleeping in a hotel because I don't want to be verbal abused right now.

Am I wrong for saying I can't do this anymore? Am I wrong for wanting peace in my own home? The home that I pay for but I'm not in right now? Her and other family members treat me like their personal ATM for any and all problems but then scream at me when I say enough. Am I wrong for wanting to be free from the negative? Thanks for listening (well, reading).

Of course you're not wrong! If your aunt wasn't abusive when she was well, I presume that the changes in her brain are behind her current behaviour. But, that doesn't mean that you should have to put up with it, and if other family members think you are terrible for wanting to help get get into a care facility, then maybe they could take her in and look after her.

I suggest that you go ahead and organise a placement for her, and then get whatever help is available to move her out, even if it is the police. In the meantime, speak to the police about the situation and the threats of elder abuse charges your aunt is hanging over your head, and try to have the situation put on record, so that if she does follow through on her threats, they won't immediately accept them at face value.
Its an awful situation to be in; I'm sorry you're having to go through this!

That's terrible helpless. Sounds like you were doing your best to take care of her, but you can't anymore. I don't see anything wrong with that. I agree with LifeForce. I would talk to the police and explain the situation.

It also doesn't sound like your aunt is thinking clearly. If you were put in prison for elder abuse, who would take care of her?

Being a caretaker is really hard. I've done it, for abusive people. Kudos to you for the time you did, but you can't be expected to do everything forever

I don't think you're in the wrong at all.. there's only so much you can take, after all.

You are not wrong.

Thanks everyone for your support. After returning to the hospital and a couple of near missed, she is finally willing to at least discuss getting care but she's bruise my heart too much for me to want a relationship after this. Once she is placed in a safe environment with people trained in providing the help she needs, I will most likely have to cut ties. I need to begin healing my own health scars before I can help anyone else.