My mother has always ignored me

For as long as I can remember, even as a child, my mother has ignored me. I keep telling her how I feel and she ends up getting angry, refusing to not talk to me any further and telling me that "I'm being so sensitive." If I talk to her or want to show her anything or want to talk to her about anything that makes me happy, she acts not interested and sort of looks at me, "Oh okay.." Than she goes back to doing what she does.

I feel isolated by her, abandoned and unhappy anytime she rejects me, ignores me, shrugs her shoulders and doesn't even give me the time of day. However her relationship with my younger brother is different. They both speak to one another, laugh with one another and get along great.

Here I'm thinking, "What is wrong with me?" "Why can't she speak to me the way she speaks to others?" "Am I such a bad kid?" All I want is her love, support, comfort and acknowledge me but she never seems interested, ignores me and continues to tell me how sensitive I am, which I know I am.

I feel as if some way this is a form of abuse and that this must be a toxic relationship I have with her. Just a moment ago I was laughing and trying to show her something that made me laugh and no reaction. I got no reaction out of her at all. Just a simple, "Yeah, I see it."

Now I'm heartbroken and feel as if I can't breathe because I'm so close to crying right now. I feel so ignored by her, like I don't exist in the world. I'm not sure what to do at this point. Please someone give me some support right now because I'm close to crying...

I kind of have the same relationship with my mother. When I was younger and still living at the house the only time we interacted was to fight. I cannot remember a time where we interacted that didn't lead to a fight. When I moved out it got a little better but she still doesn't show me the same affection she shows my brother. He's a BIG time mama's boy. I mean to the extent of touching, hugging, holding hands, her rubbing his back, etc, etc, etc...

It's actually worse, because my younger sister and my father are the same way. He'll do ANYTHING for her. He leaves work when she needs help, he'll go by her house to do whatever she needs (even though she lives 20 mins away), he basically bends over backwards for her.

This is how bad it really is (and this really did and still does piss me off when I think about it!), in May I had a stroke that lead to a seizure because of a hole in my heart. I spent 6 days in the hospital and even had heart surgery to repair the hole in my heart. You know what they did? They planned a vacation, with my sister, while I was in the hospital! They booked the hotel and the plane tickets WHILE I was in surgery! The fact that I was in the hospital didn't even hinder their plans for a vacation the following week. That's how much my dad loves my sister. He would rather make sure that his vacation plans with my sister, because the whole trip was her idea and god forbid princess goes on the trip alone, were in place then to worry about me and my surgery.

And where does that leave me? Not daddy's princess and not mom's daughter. It was hard, really hard, but I've slowly (though if you ask the wife she would say I'm still working on it) getting over it. I'm beginning to be at peace with the fact that I will never be their favorite and will always come second fiddle to either one of siblings. I luckily have my wife that I can turn to and she's been my rock through dealing with all this. Trust me, there have been many days & nights of crying and self pity.

I wish I had better news, or something to offer, but I don't... sorry. But I did want you to know that you're not alone and that with help from someone you love, or with the help of a therapist (which I have worked with on this very matter), you can at least learn to accept it and not let it bother you. You can't change your mom's attitude with you or your brother but you can change the way you react and how it bothers you.

The best thing I can say is that this is your mother's problem, and not yours. She is the one that has a issue. I was always the black sheep with my parents up until the day they passed away. Please don't do what I did. I am 53, and almost up until my parents passed, I did anything, and everything I could do to feel like they loved me. Please don't waste all your time to enjoy your life, trying to get acceptance, that may never happen.

I am so sorry you had to through all that. Unfortunaly we can't pick our faimly, but just remember that it is there loss, and issues, not yours, and Karma!!!

I’m so very sorry you’ve been treated this way. I can relate and I know how painful it is. It helped me to pull away and focus on what is best for me. It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t my fault and to stop seeking the approval. Katydid is right, it’s really her issue and not yours. ❤️