Feeling sad and disappointed...

I have such terrible luck making new friends. I have really developed a bit of a hang up about it. I recently befriended somebody who I thought I would have a lot in common with and I just really don’t. I feel like something is wrong or unlikeable about me. It’s the same pattern. I invite people to do things and invitations are turned down or aren’t extended in return. People always have their established friendships. I don’t drink and I’m quiet and bookish so that doesn’t help. Hubby has no interest in making friends so we have no couples that we hang out with. I see people on Facebook hanging out with friends and family all the time and it makes me feel sad. I shouldn’t compare my life to others... Yet lately I’m doing it a lot. I do some volunteer work and I have even formed social groups of my own. No real friendships really develop. Either I need to start drinking and partying or just give up I think.

I drink sometimes but rarely among those times do I party. There's a difference in drinking socially and being a drunk. If it's not something you want to do, then don't. I see people at bars not drinking alcohol and have been that person, and not because I was the driver but because I wanted to be around others yet still didn't want to drink

I hear you.......
I have interests that a lot of people don't and I am hard to match

I’m pretty much a health nut. I go to bed early and get up early and exercise and stuff like that. I get bored at bars and parties and stuff. I think maybe I just put people off. Most people aren’t interested in books and walking and talking and volunteer work and stuff. So it gets pretty lonely.

Yep. Me too. I love reading. Documentaries. Talking. Walking. Maybe I’m taking it too personally and it’s just that I’m not interested in stuff most people are. I don’t like sports and most movies are even boring to me these days.

I feel you on this. Even though my interests have a decent amount of people I could approach online for friendship, I still find it hard to make friends just because my personality and MI make me hard to deal with.

Dont change who you are for anyone. Good friends who understand you are worth the wait.

I’m almost 50 years old. I hope good friendships are still an option at my age. I’m surprised how many people my age still party a lot though.

Yes, I believe you can still make friends at 50 years old Don't give up... I understand your struggle

Thank you. ❤️

I don't have friends except people who sympathize with me. It sucks because factors which I cannot control affected my everything, turning me into nothing. I totally understand you. I am brain damaged and I am still trying to get into med school. My psychiatrist once even told me "Anything can happen in this world", so yes, I do think you can make friends at the age of 50.

Thank you LonelyChemist. I don’t think you’re brain damaged. Keep following your dreams. ❤️

Hi Sisabel....I am really sad today as well. Something about dusk...always bothers me.

Evenings can bring out the loneliness. I guess the busyness of the day drowns it out a bit. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling sad.

Sisabel - I definitely can relate on this. I got married young (21) and started having kids almost right away. So the early years were about the kids, getting established, etc. Once the kids were in school, I started working toward a career that was pretty intense (required full time work plus exams over a period of several years). In many ways, it was a very good career move but I have now realized that I never developed the kind of friendships that I need. In fact, I would go so far as to say I never really learned how to make friends. Sure, I had lots of great coworkers I got along wonderfully with, and I have lots of acquaintances. But there's nobody who calls me or who I call to go shopping or to an event or who comes over for coffee. I've been trying to develop that, but it's a little weird. People don't expect a 50+ year old woman to not have friends, to not know how to make friends....

What adds to my difficulty is that my husband and I don't share any interests. We don't do things that I like doing. I've not given up, but if feels like we've talked about this dozens of times and nothing really changes. I've giving him some space as he works through some other issues but I need to get him to understand that I am not getting what I need from him. Again, I now understand that getting married and having kids so young had a price - that we did not develop common hobbies and interests. I'm a little afraid of discussing this again because I don't think he has any idea how lonely I am sometimes and I'm afraid when that comes out it's going to be intense. The point is not to make him feel bad, and that would, the point is to get him to understand and to be willing to find something that we can enjoy together. I have suggested numerous things but I feel like they always get pushed aside and nothing changes....

I am quiet too . I like doing things where I can be deeply present - walking has been difficult recently due to injury, but I like cooking quietly with friends. I like weaving and weavers. I used to like gardening with a friend and doing creative things.

But mostly, yes I am quiet, and like quiet laughter.

I am looking for quiet people. I hear myself say that and it helps me to know what I want backwards.

G Lady... I can do relate to what you wrote here. The other day we talked about this again... and I started crying and could not stop. Hubby was surprised I have been feeling so lonely. He cannot understand why I would want friends. He says most friendships are superficial anyway and he doesn’t understand what I would get out of a friendship. I didn’t know what to say. He just doesn’t get it. I have given up that he and I would ever have a social life. He’s been offering to spend time with me lately. He doesn’t usually do that. He’s a good husband but he’s pretty much a loner and while I’m quiet and not necessarily an extrovert, I’m also
not a loner.

It’s nice that you’ve found some people you have things in common with.