Commitment issues

Hi everyone ,

My name is Vicky and I just have a question for everyone . Does anyone suffer from commitment issues and if so how have you gotten over it ?

So a little back story .... I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 3 and a half years and have a 3 year old son together . We spilt up for
About 2 years due to his abusiveneas but recently got back together 6 months ago because I saw a change in him. Everything was going great until we got into it about finances and he was telling me I shouldn’t spend so much money and then i think I slowly started to resent him because I struggle a lot with having my independence since growing up I was controlled by my mother . When we get into situations I just want to bail because relationship conflict are very hard for me to deal with and it’s truly the most difficult thing for me . I feel like a terrible person that I’ve lead him on and keep saying I’ll change but always end up failing . I always get myself to the point that I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore and I don’t know what to do . I always freeze up when we are arguing and just cry because it’s so overwhelming .

Any thoughts ?

I hope this makes sense and I’m not just rambling on

I just replied to your introductory post. And, in that reply, offered you links to several articles from PsychCentral's archives. Here are some more... these on the subject of conflict resolution within relationships. (Hope you enjoy reading!)

How Healthy Couples Manage Conflict

How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship

Avoid Relationship Meltdown: Your Blueprint for Conflict Resolution | Happily Imperfect

How Healthy Couples Handle Tough Times

11 Tips for Conflict Management | Building Relationship Skills

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/succe...ving-conflict/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/gain-c...-relationship/

I don't think you are a terrible person. Sounds to me like you are struggling to learn, then falling over and picking yourself up and struggling to learn again.

I wish you could get some appropriate couple relationship support! Hard to learn relationship skills from scratch and easy to feel hopeless.

I appreciate your courage.

I agree about couple therapy Don't be too hard on yourself. Relationships aren't easy but it can work.