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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,117
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#21
Try not to feed into your anxieties and wait and see what she says when she comes back home for the weekend. She is still young at just 23 and if you crowd her and get too controlling she will distance. It's just that she is at that age where it's normal to want to be independent, that has nothing to do with you, just her stage of development.
It's a challenge to love someone and try to trust them and give them space. The thing is if she is going to cheat etc., then she will do it regardless and nothing you can do about it. You have to learn patience and given you stress that can be a challenge. |
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#22
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If your girlfriend is using her snapchat account to cheat on you with other men, why would you stay with her? I would dump her and try to date someone your own age. She sounds very social media dependent, and starved for attention online. If she has received nude photos from men on her snapchat, she's definitely not being honest with you about her use of it. Time to dump her and date someone your own age who is more mature. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,761
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#23
When was the last time she ever said anything about you moving to where she is.
Sounds to me like she was just not into you & the move gave her a chance to live her life the way she wants. If no commitment was made to stay faithful to each other when she left then she in theory is not cheating on you..... Why in the world would you even want to stay with someone like her in the first place? I was still married to my H when I left him (bad marriage)....being away convinced me that I never wanted to go back or have him come to my new home. Sometimes being away clarifies things for one person even though it leaves the other one up in the air until the state of the relationship is finally cleared up. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 56
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#24
Yes just till then might im just going to overthink it , and she just turned 24 not make a difference still young , i just turned 28 , im glad for her we always chatted about getting a apartment together in halifax but she didnt mention anything when she was home perhaps she would think i would be upset for her ? i dont know i react solely on my emotions which is a no no but i cant seem to help myself , im talking to a counselor but it seems like its not helping . And ya if she cheats she cheats , which im hoping she dont but there i no way of me knowing . as snapchat is a app which is shady bc it deletes after 5 seconds she says she doesnt she wouldnt do that to me because she knows how i was treated past relationships , either way nothing i can do just long distance is hard for me not used to it . thanks for reply to .
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 56
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#25
She mentioned it when she first was up there to babysit her brother , and we both agreed we were not "broken up" and try the long distance relationship , and we both said we would move up if she wanted to get a job , shes very last second person , not sure why but shes been like that before she met me , i would come up with her and try getting a apartment together wihle she works and i go to school , ill have to have a big chat with her next weekend , to see why she didnt tell me and what the plans are for the future , we skype/talk every night but never mentioned it that she got the job just weird .. and i do because i want to give her the benefit of the doubt to see why she didnt tell me .. not sure if im just overthinking it all or just might be she is hiding something .
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Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Canada
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#26
Well there was no proof she did , with snap chat its shady because everything deletes after 5 seconds , and sorry for being all over the place , im not good at typing my mind goes all over . lol but ya i dont know what to say , ill give her the benefit of the doubt and see what happens when i speak to her next weekend , we did talk about moving in a apartment together recently but no commitments because we didnt know what the future held , im ok with moving up to go to school there while she working , it can work out but why not say that in the first place perhaps she was afraid i would react solely on my emotions and over think it ? i dont know i guess ill find out her side next weekend , not something i can talk about on the phone rather be in person . but im just angry/depressed on why .. anyways thanks for the response ! i Thanks ! i will take all opinions on what the next step is .
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Member
Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 56
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#27
Update , we both had a long talk about our future , this past weekend , we decided that we were going to get a apartment together and try to live where she is now , im going to go to school there while she works full time at her daycare , we will see where it goes from there , right now im nervous on going to a bigger city and going to college so its all new to me but its time to get out of my parents house and live on my own , she didnt tell me because she didnt think i would want to come with her , and it was a last second job offer she got so she took it , so im going up in September and a new chapter in my life its scary but im excited at the same time , just hope things work out . thanks for all the great advice i sure hope this works out . any advice to help with the anxiety in moving to a bigger city and starting a new life with my girlfriend ? let me know here or pm thanks friends ! have a good night .
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#28
I am not trying to be disrespectful but I think moving in together is a mistake. You are saying you will uproot your life and schooling to move in with a woman who you suspected of cheating on you or at the very least some shady behavior with social media. I understand wanting to be out of your parents house but what if it doesnt work out? And why September and not now or soon?
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__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Member Since Sep 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 56
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#29
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#30
do you two actually ever TALK? like not snapchat but as in actual voice conversations?
I wouldn't be that hot to be with someone who sent nude pix to someone else. but that's just me...I am old (hell no nude pix need to be sent anywhere actually, they are best left at home :-) ) from what I could gather reading all of this I think maybe this is more of a one sided attraction. don't follow, don't quit anything...stay where you are & get your health & life together. she isn't the one for you...you aren't getting the attention. she plays games and has moved on. don't follow her, it won't end well. you are young and have a good future...don't waste it. don't base your life on snapchat totals or what ever they are. there is so much more to life then that. seriously..get out, meet people...in real life..without the phone. don't worry about the totals.. what other people think about the relationship or comments should mean nothing (I am old and assume you involve others in the chat to get points????? seriously no idea on this..i got a flip phone because there is no service where I live ) it is your life, live it..don't wait for approval from every schlub and their brother. be you..be ok with you & who ever you settle with. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 9,533
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#31
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