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Old 11-20-2018, 06:45 PM #11
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

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Originally Posted by unfoldingxwings View Post
In college I was taken in by a group of people. Being 32 and everyone else being under 25 had its complications, especially with maturity. I went out of my way for these kids. One time during one of my sicknesses, a friend sent me a text asking me to come over. I thought it was something to do with her dad again. Although I was supposed to stay in bed to recover, I decided to go over and find out what was going on and listen. She proceeded to tell me she wanted to take on the dark entity in one of the residence halls and if I wanted to go with her. Even though she knew I had health problems.

There is a general belief on campus that this building is haunted. We did an EVP session there before and I got a really amazing recording. However, she thought the dark entity was going to hurt people and wanted to prevent this from happening. I just sat there inwardly groaning because 1. I was sick and 2. We were doing this...again. She dragged me through similar drama for a month.

All those friends are extremely self absorbed. Maybe it's their age. I was there for them, all of them, at one point or several times. But one day mentioned in the group chat I wasn't okay and no one cared or commented. I really could have benefited from some emotional support that day. I've given them things, bought them things, provided emotional support. Going out of my way and risking my health. But when I needed them emotionally no one was around or interested. I've been back from college since Saturday and only one of them bothered to check on me when I withdrew. Or noticed I wasn't really okay.

Is it time for me to remove these people from my life? It's not that I hate them, but I feel like a lot of my time was used and wasted.
I had some experience in that myself! It probably best.to let them go. Take this as a lesson that you learn. Who you don't want to hang out with? Who you are not meant to be with?
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Old 11-20-2018, 06:47 PM #12
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

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When you feel people never make time for you. Nobody is that busy that they can't pick up the phone or something.


When it feels like a toxic relationship/s. You just know, especially when it's always one-sided, you're always doing the calling/planning.


Just my 2 cents since I had to end some friendships in the past. I have no regrets over it.




Sometime you just end friendship that aren't good.for you.
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Old 11-21-2018, 07:31 AM #13
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

If you donít enjoy their company, if they cause you to feel bad often, if you canít trust them at all...

Iíve continued some friendships way too long until I learned what is toxic. Once I enforced boundaries and refused disrespect these relationships ended.
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Old 12-02-2018, 10:44 AM #14
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Angry Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

Or especially when they act like they're not interested in anything you have to say, or ask you about your life, they make it all about them.


Or if you say to them that you're not happy with the way things are in the friendship, they don't try to compromise to stay friends, they just have that "oh well" attitude.
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Old 12-02-2018, 11:25 AM #15
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

Best to be alone and a little lonely than to be in one-way situations where you are getting the short end of the stick.
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Old 12-02-2018, 11:35 AM #16
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

I ended a five year distance friendship with a girl that mainly used me to vent her negative emotions. I couldn't take it anymore. She was basically taking me for some sort of amateur therapist and I couldn't provide that kind of support. I did listen to her, I tried to help on many, many occasions and devoted a lot of time to talking to her. Still, she wouldn't miss an opportunity to attack me or berate me for holding a different opinion. It was painful and difficult but shortly before Christmas I just had to tell her it was all over. It's strange: sometimes I feel like I've lost something important but I'm confident I wouldn't want to go back to that unpleasant situation.

My current friends are... well... Very self-absorbed. Some of them have become snobbish, arrogant and distant. Nobody ever asks how I'm doing. Sometimes, they even ignore my messages on our group chat. I don't know what to do, though, since they're my only friends and I don't handle loneliness well.

As for your friends, I don't know what to tell you. It's clear that you're the one who's disadvantaged in that situation, and I'd say get the heck out of there, but are they your only friends? Can you make new ones? Consider those aspects and, if you want, tell us more.
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Old 12-02-2018, 11:42 AM #17
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

I don't think anyone handles loneliness very well. On the other hand...holding onto toxic situations out of a fear of being alone isn't very good either. Spending time alone can strengthen one's character and confidence and you will attract different sorts of people. I got rid of all toxic frenemies/egomaniacs...and guess what? -- I don't miss them!
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Old 12-02-2018, 11:49 AM #18
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

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Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post
I don't think anyone handles loneliness very well. On the other hand...holding onto toxic situations out of a fear of being alone isn't very good either. Spending time alone can strengthen one's character and confidence and you will attract different sorts of people. I got rid of all toxic frenemies/egomaniacs...and guess what? -- I don't miss them!
Well, there are clearly people who deal with being alone a lot better than others. I think I didn't express myself correctly: loneliness is clearly a bad thing, while being alone doesn't necessarily bring on loneliness. But you get the point.

I agree with your second statement. Nobody should be forced to endure any toxic situations and/or friendships and, in that case, being alone is probably a better option. Still, I can't quite muster the necessary courage to end it all with my friends. That's a weakness of mine. Problem is I don't have much of a chance of developing any new and meaningful friendship where I live since the biggest part of people here are... well, not very interesting, with limited tastes, rude and loud, and I don't like that. My best bet would probably be to find out strategies to deal with being alone in order to make solitude productive and positive, just like you said.
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Old 12-02-2018, 04:54 PM #19
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

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Well, there are clearly people who deal with being alone a lot better than others. I think I didn't express myself correctly: loneliness is clearly a bad thing, while being alone doesn't necessarily bring on loneliness. But you get the point.

I agree with your second statement. Nobody should be forced to endure any toxic situations and/or friendships and, in that case, being alone is probably a better option. Still, I can't quite muster the necessary courage to end it all with my friends. That's a weakness of mine. Problem is I don't have much of a chance of developing any new and meaningful friendship where I live since the biggest part of people here are... well, not very interesting, with limited tastes, rude and loud, and I don't like that. My best bet would probably be to find out strategies to deal with being alone in order to make solitude productive and positive, just like you said.







Here is another thought. Sometimes the people who aren't very good friends end up leaving us, too. Because they are often narcissistic and crave attention and go out seeking new supply. This has happened to me. I have tried to be a good friend and people just get bored and suddenly vanish.


This thread has interested me. One reason I ended up alone is because I made a decision to be fearless and not hang on to friendships with people who weren't very good friends. One thing I hate is when people gossip about other people. So I dropped a lot of people because of that.


It is hard being alone...whether lonely or not. But I am really hoping it will have its benefits. I am a very loyal and giving friend and I decided I wanted friends who are like that.


I have one friend from childhood who is very loyal...so I know it is possible.
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Old 12-02-2018, 05:01 PM #20
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Default Re: When Do You End A Friendship?

I vote to end a friendship when your friend starts chasing dark entities.
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