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DechanDawa
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Default Dec 04, 2018 at 07:34 PM
  #21
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Originally Posted by WishfulThinker66 View Post
My extended family does not exchange gifts - but we do get together for a wonderful holiday. There are a lot of traditions in my extended family so we don't get caught up in which religion we should be observing. Instead we gather together to celebrate family.

I have had my nose out of joint in years past when my children have chosen to spend the holiday with their father (and even some years with their step father). I just won't rant about that again. I will take whatever I will get of their time and not waste valuable energy on it.

I do want to comment though on the giving of greeting cards. I was raised on this. I was also raised on writing thank you notes. Both now seem lost arts - and it is a shame. I chalk this up to yet another failure to teach our children etiquette. Again, a real shame.

There was a time when I sent out dozens. Last year I reduced it again - each with a lovely personalised hand written note - to about a dozen. I got only one in return. All it had was my name on it.

I know that most out there will entirely disagree with me but I feel I must comment on what has become the replacement - the block email greeting. Just don't send me one. They are crass, totally impersonal, and (sorry) lazy. I have thought if you can't be bothered to write me a personal greeting then don't bother at all.

also cringe worthy? The lengthy family diary full of far too much personal information.





Ah, I just had to reply to this. When I was a child the card exchange was one of my favorite traditions. I guess my parents were pretty popular in the community and with work because we go hundreds of cards. Every closet door in the house was filled with cards. I was an arts and crafts child so I loved the cards which later my mother let me use to cut up for art projects like bookmarks and stuff.

For awhile, as an adult, I still got a lot of cards but over the years it has dwindled.

When I see all the beautiful boxes of cards in the stores I really wonder who is buying them.

Email generic crowd greetings? Sheez, they should be banned.

The Christmas diaries used to be a big tradition. I never did that but my ex and I used to get a lot of them. We would read them aloud and make fun of them. We also made fun of photos people sent with a few hundred of their relatives.


I think last year I got two cards. Another nice tradition dies.

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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 09:41 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by DechanDawa
....When I see all the beautiful boxes of cards in the stores I really wonder who is buying them.

....The Christmas diaries used to be a big tradition. I never did that but my ex and I used to get a lot of them. We would read them aloud and make fun of them. We also made fun of photos people sent with a few hundred of their relatives.
I work at a large retailer where we are now selling boxed holiday greeting cards and rolls of stamps. Who is buying these? It seems to be the older crowd several generations back.

Regarding the family diaries, yes when I used to get these novels attached to cards, we have shared great laughter over many of these. I to my father, "Did you get so-in-so's card yet?" And we would have a chuckle because life for them was always perfect: the childen extraordinary with great prowess in everything, husband extremely successful, home life and activities unbelievably awesome, and lengthy in your face descriptions of lavish holiday's taken each year. Often these diaries have included far too much information - like their health concerns over the course of the year. Some of these are truly eyebrow raising. Sadly I haven't had one of these for several years.

Oh, in a spot of good news, I received my first greeting card yesterday. There is hope yet!
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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 10:13 AM
  #23
Yeah, the Christmas letters are a strange tradition. They are a summary of the yearly news for that family who you haven’t really been involved with for the whole year, which is why you need the summary. I’ll bet Facebook replaced my those letters as now we see photos of everyone’s meals daily and all.

We received one Christmas letter once from a cousin. It was obnoxiously braggadocious.

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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 11:07 AM
  #24
I'm sorry you're struggling, DechanDawa I don't think you have any obligation to send gifts card if it's hurting you. However the decision is up to you. You could even decide to just do something nice. Still, it's not very nice that you're not getting anything - even something small in return. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 03:44 PM
  #25
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I'm sorry you're struggling, DechanDawa I don't think you have any obligation to send gifts card if it's hurting you. However the decision is up to you. You could even decide to just do something nice. Still, it's not very nice that you're not getting anything - even something small in return. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.





Well, I didn't mean it this way. I don't get as many cards because people don't send as many cards.

It's not hurting me. I am sorry if I gave that impression.

I don't put that much stock in the holiday. I was just asking what others did.

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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 03:48 PM
  #26
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Yeah, the Christmas letters are a strange tradition. They are a summary of the yearly news for that family who you haven’t really been involved with for the whole year, which is why you need the summary. I’ll bet Facebook replaced my those letters as now we see photos of everyone’s meals daily and all.

We received one Christmas letter once from a cousin. It was obnoxiously braggadocious.




We received one Christmas letter once from a cousin. It was obnoxiously braggadocious.

Well, yes, that's my point. Besides, I never understood the once a year "catch up" when there was no involvement the year through.

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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 03:55 PM
  #27
I think I kind of gave the wrong impression.

It isn't that I do not get anything. It is more that...I have decided to eliminate those who are not reciprocating.


As I said earlier I have one brother who sends me gifts throughout the year...they are small...often handmade (either by him or his many artist friends)...and well, he has such a wonderful spirit of generosity...he is very inspiring.

My son always sends a lavish box of beautiful gifts, including handmade. Not a big expensive thing...but put together with great care.

Finally, my childhood friend sends...treasures. And beautiful cards. And I do the same with her.

The biggest Chirstmas elf was my sister...who died three years ago. She was awesome, creative, generous of spirit. I do miss her a lot.

As far as the grinches...I have decided to eliminate them...and that's what this thread was about. Others have shared the opinion that giving should not be based on reciprocity but I guess I just don't agree with this. Especially during a year when my finances are tight.

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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 03:56 PM
  #28
There’s a commercial on TV now. It shows an isolated, lonely grandpa and he gets in the mail a handmade Christmas card from his grandchild. Then he smiles.

But I’m thinking “Why couldn’t they see him in person?” The commercial upsets me a little.

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Default Dec 06, 2018 at 04:05 PM
  #29
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
There’s a commercial on TV now. It shows an isolated, lonely grandpa and he gets in the mail a handmade Christmas card from his grandchild. Then he smiles.

But I’m thinking “Why couldn’t they see him in person?” The commercial upsets me a little.





Wow, I am so glad I don't have television. I am sure ALL the commercials would upset me.

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Default Dec 09, 2018 at 08:14 PM
  #30
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Do you send (give) gifts and cards to people who never reciprocate? I send one brother gifts at Xmas but he never sends me any back. However, throughout the year he sends me little gifts...so I think it is a balance.

I send another brother and his wife Xmas cards and gifts and he has NEVER reciprocated so I am trying to take him off my list.

It doesn't seem healthy to have a one-way exchange and I am trying to change.

How about you? What do you think?
It depends. But if it makes you feel sad, you don't have to keep sending. I'm so sorry to hear abut this.
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Default Dec 09, 2018 at 08:40 PM
  #31
I always send gifts to my son's girlfriends "of the moment" but they don't always reciprocate.
Except his first girlfriend who was just a great gift giver anyway. This is one case of giving and not caring if I get something in return.


I think this thread was misunderstood.

I am not really that sad. The holiday doesn't mean much to me this year because I have a lot other stuff going on. I feel good about my gift giving and card sending decisions. No big deal. Was just curious about others, really.

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Default Dec 09, 2018 at 09:04 PM
  #32
I think people have stopped sending out cards because of the expense. I kind of understand that because for me it was a consideration in cutting down. I didn't go to email greetings because it seems cheesy. I used to post Facebook season greetings but don't feel in the mood for social media this year and have grown to hate Facebook. I like cards a lot, though. It was one of my favorite traditions.

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Default Dec 10, 2018 at 05:42 AM
  #33
I can relate about cards. Enjoying them and choosing to err away from email and fb . Although fb for myself is a necessary evil. Many on my fb will receive regular cards in the mail as it is. I'm waiting on stamps and to sit down and write out these cards. I'm actually a little late on my preferred timetable, but it happens.
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Default Dec 10, 2018 at 05:50 AM
  #34
Well, I applaud all those still sending out cards and sending heartfelt messages.

My childhood friend and I exchange in-the-mail cards for every single holiday/birthday/in-between. She tried switching to ecards with me but I wasn't having it.

I also have one brother who sends me cards throughout the year.

It's is nice to have the personal touch. So needed in this world...

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Default Dec 10, 2018 at 08:28 AM
  #35
I feel pretty detached this holiday season. Doing everything in a minimalist way. Got my packages ready to send out and that's about it. I have to get something for the mailman...usually box of chocolates. Living alone I can see the advantage of just not getting caught up. Am happy for Mary Poppins Returns which I plan to go see Christmas afternoon. My ex and son and I always went to the movies on holidays. Some people think it's weird but it is actually my tradition. Sigh...I really miss church and that's why Christmas isn't the same this year but I can't talk about that on PC. My other thread on it was closed. Shame since I think others wanted to talk about that, too.

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Default Dec 10, 2018 at 08:59 AM
  #36
Two cards now - woohoo! That is now twice as many as last year! hahaha
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