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Old 12-10-2018, 03:43 PM #11
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Originally Posted by ennie View Post
I see that you have made a sincere effort. It seems like you needed some time to think things over but something got lost in translation and he assumed you don't love him or whatever. Even if he doesn't come back, maybe you still want to clear the misunderstanding so you can have closure. I hope you get this opportunity, but if you don't, it's okay to take your time to grieve this loss.


Thank you I really hurt the man I love exactly . I donít understand why he would tell me he loved me and I needed to fix this, turn back on my calendar , and then turn off his phone and not reply to my emails or messages. He could have simply told me goodbye. Now Iím left hanging. Thank you for seeing I tried!
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Old 12-10-2018, 03:57 PM #12
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He kept asking me to tell him I love him and I couldn't do it because he wouldn't see me. Now he's been gone for 27 days and I am a mess. I've realized I've been profoundly depressed. My brother's mother in law offered to give us a free couples counseling class but he turned his phone off so I can't tell him and he's not responding to any of my emails. I didn't know I was so deeply depressed. I don't know what to do. I want to apologize to him, tell him I love him, I'm in love with him, I need him, I want him, but I can't because I can't reach him.
I'm sorry that you are hurting right now!
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Old 12-10-2018, 03:58 PM #13
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If it's been 27 days, you may have to face that he's changed numbers and isn't coming back for anything. Sorry you're hurting
That true! It a very good possibility.
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Old 12-10-2018, 04:05 PM #14
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That true! It a very good possibility.


Yes I know and my daughterís coming home and Iíve got to hide this from her. She doesnít like it when I get hurt over him. I thought we could work things out while she was gone but it didnít happen. It was my clearly stated intention to him but he didnít accept one of my invitations to go do something. The person who said I needed to take time to think things over was right. That should be allowed in a relationship. I didnít cut him off. I simply wanted to ease back into it after being apart for 3 years especially now that Iím working full time. I didnít know how to juggle a relationship and a job and he made fun of me for that. In my previous relationship my now ex husband was very erratic and I donít have that kind of flexibility or energy anymore. Previous when I was seeing my fiancť I wasnít working so I could just do whatever. Iím actually a lot healthier now then I was then but ironically he says now Iím very unhealthy. Go figure!
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Old 12-10-2018, 04:46 PM #15
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I am sorry you are hurting but if thatís the same man youíve been seeing before, pathological liar, then you are better off. As much as it hurts itís better to stir away. If thatís the same guy, did he get divorced? He was married then. I hope itís not the same guy. But if itís a different man, he sounds unhealthy. Why not jusf break up instead of changing his phone number. So dramatic. Hang in there. Good riddance to this loser
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Old 12-10-2018, 04:50 PM #16
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I am sorry you are hurting but if thatís the same man youíve been seeing before, pathological liar, then you are better off. As much as it hurts itís better to stir away. If thatís the same guy, did he get divorced? He was married then. I hope itís not the same guy. But if itís a different man, he sounds unhealthy. Why not jusf break up instead of changing his phone number. So dramatic. Hang in there. Good riddance to this loser


It is the same man and he is divorced which is the reason for the 3 year separation. I love him and am in love with him
And was prepared to deal with the challenges . I donít understand why he didnít just tell me he didnít love me anymore instead of telling me he loved me twice, and telling me to
Fix it, and getting furious with me for accusing him
Of gaslighting and telling me he wasnít with anyone else. Why would he tell me to fix it and then go and turn his phone off? Why not just say goodbye?
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Old 12-10-2018, 05:27 PM #17
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It is the same man and he is divorced which is the reason for the 3 year separation. I love him and am in love with him
And was prepared to deal with the challenges . I donít understand why he didnít just tell me he didnít love me anymore instead of telling me he loved me twice, and telling me to
Fix it, and getting furious with me for accusing him
Of gaslighting and telling me he wasnít with anyone else. Why would he tell me to fix it and then go and turn his phone off? Why not just say goodbye?
Because he isnít a decent human being. People who lie like he does (among other not so nice things he did) do not live by the same rules as decent people do.

My therapist always says that itís a waste of time trying to figure out why people do what they do as you might never get an answer. All we can do is focus on why we do what we do.
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Old 12-10-2018, 05:33 PM #18
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Because he isnít a decent human being. People who lie like he does (among other not so nice things he did) do not live by the same rules as decent people do.



My therapist always says that itís a waste of time trying to figure out why people do what they do as you might never get an answer. All we can do is focus on why we do what we do.


This is true but according to him Iím the unhealthy and disturbed individual, so weíre a perfect match I really hurt the man I love Iím not really trying to figure it out, figure it out isnít a solution, Iím letting go of it and giving it over to God. I still want to marry him but if he wants to terminate his phone and ignore his email and messages thereís nothing I can do about that. At this point I donít see myself getting engaged again. Itís still too fresh.
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Old 12-10-2018, 05:36 PM #19
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This is true but according to him Iím the unhealthy and disturbed individual, so weíre a perfect match I really hurt the man I love Iím not really trying to figure it out, figure it out isnít a solution, Iím letting go of it and giving it over to God. I still want to marry him but if he wants to terminate his phone and ignore his email and messages thereís nothing I can do about that. At this point I donít see myself getting engaged again. Itís still too fresh.
Why would you want to marry him? Makes me also wonder if he didnít see you for three years, why asking you for love declarations. Sounds like he is playing games.
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Old 12-10-2018, 05:41 PM #20
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Why would you want to marry him? Makes me also wonder if he didnít see you for three years, why asking you for love declarations. Sounds like he is playing games.


No, I didnít see him for 3 years, 2 of those were waiting for the divorce and the 3rd was because he simply didnít bring his divorce papers to church like I asked him to or mail them. He told me in an angry email that I couldnít read. Thatís what Iím saying, I distanced myself 3 years ago to wait for his divorce but I didnít terminate it. We couldíve started rebuilding last year but he decided to break up with me before his divorce was finalized.
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