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Old 12-10-2018, 05:53 PM #21
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No, I didnít see him for 3 years, 2 of those were waiting for the divorce and the 3rd was because he simply didnít bring his divorce papers to church like I asked him to or mail them. He told me in an angry email that I couldnít read. Thatís what Iím saying, I distanced myself 3 years ago to wait for his divorce but I didnít terminate it. We couldíve started rebuilding last year but he decided to break up with me before his divorce was finalized.
Let yourself grieve, I understand it hurts. He doesnít sound like reliable partner though. So in a long run itís for the best
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Old 12-10-2018, 05:56 PM #22
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Let yourself grieve, I understand it hurts. He doesnít sound like reliable partner though. So in a long run itís for the best


Yes I know , the way heís talking about me as if Iím a deeply unhealthy and disturbed person and he broke up with me a month before his divorce was finalized. Like, ok, that really did a lot of good. I still love him though. It was a 6.5 year relationship . It really hurts.
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Old 12-10-2018, 06:24 PM #23
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Yes I know , the way heís talking about me as if Iím a deeply unhealthy and disturbed person and he broke up with me a month before his divorce was finalized. Like, ok, that really did a lot of good. I still love him though. It was a 6.5 year relationship . It really hurts.
If he broke up with you a month before getting divorced, he had no business to get engaged. He was still married. Also if he didnít see you for three years, how did he propose? Over the phone? Sent you a ring by mail? This dude is out of his mind to say the least. Itís a blessing he is gone. Do you see a therapist to help you through?
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Old 12-10-2018, 06:32 PM #24
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If he broke up with you a month before getting divorced, he had no business to get engaged. He was still married. Also if he didnít see you for three years, how did he propose? Over the phone? Sent you a ring by mail? This dude is out of his mind to say the least. Itís a blessing he is gone. Do you see a therapist to help you through?
We had a long distance relationship where he would come and see me. We were engaged while he was married, which is why after 3 years of that I pushed the pause button, not the stop button, not the eject button. At any rate that is my dilemma, he claims he broke up with me one month before his divorce was finalized. Of course we continued to communicate as I had no idea he had broken up with me. I thought that was a joke because I was the one who was waiting for him to get divorced from his wife. Yes I saw several therapists to help me through. I wouldn't say its a blessing he is gone, it hurts, I miss him and I love him but there is nothing I can do to get him back. He has an aunt who is a therapist and she was treating him for his ptsd. He said something really bad about me to her so I'm sure she was instrumental in his "letting me go". He didn't even tell her he proposed to me, he simply told her I was his girlfriend. I was like, what?!?
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Old 12-11-2018, 05:44 AM #25
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We had a long distance relationship where he would come and see me. We were engaged while he was married, which is why after 3 years of that I pushed the pause button, not the stop button, not the eject button. At any rate that is my dilemma, he claims he broke up with me one month before his divorce was finalized. Of course we continued to communicate as I had no idea he had broken up with me. I thought that was a joke because I was the one who was waiting for him to get divorced from his wife. Yes I saw several therapists to help me through. I wouldn't say its a blessing he is gone, it hurts, I miss him and I love him but there is nothing I can do to get him back. He has an aunt who is a therapist and she was treating him for his ptsd. He said something really bad about me to her so I'm sure she was instrumental in his "letting me go". He didn't even tell her he proposed to me, he simply told her I was his girlfriend. I was like, what?!?
Marrying someone like that wouldnít result in happy marriage. You can never trust him. He seems to enjoy game playing.

He ďpretendĒ proposes while being married to someone else (you canít be engaged AND married at the same time unless one is in polygamist), then refers to you as a girlfriend behind your back while claiming being ďengagedĒ to your face, he breaks up with you but not tell you that, instead keeps dragging you along, refuses to come see you yet demands unreasonable declarations of love, and all insane lies in the past! Do you want a husband like that? Not a good foundation for marriage. It would be a nightmare!

Iíd focus on working with your therapist on figuring out why youíd want to have him back and be married to someone like that. Of course even if bad relationship end it hurts, but good times are ahead.
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Old 12-11-2018, 06:00 AM #26
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Marrying someone like that wouldnít result in happy marriage. You can never trust him. He seems to enjoy game playing.



He ďpretendĒ proposes while being married to someone else (you canít be engaged AND married at the same time unless one is in polygamist), then refers to you as a girlfriend behind your back while claiming being ďengagedĒ to your face, he breaks up with you but not tell you that, instead keeps dragging you along, refuses to come see you yet demands unreasonable declarations of love, and all insane lies in the past! Do you want a husband like that? Not a good foundation for marriage. It would be a nightmare!



Iíd focus on working with your therapist on figuring out why youíd want to have him back and be married to someone like that. Of course even if bad relationship end it hurts, but good times are ahead.


Lol. Itís not simple. I set a very firm boundary with him that I would not see him until divorced and I held my ground. Of course that devastated him. He then thought I had a problem instead of accepting it was solely his marriage that was the problem. That is all behind us now but currently we are estranged. Heís autistic so his brain doesnít work like ours. For example he thought I was blocking him when I was sleeping or working when my phone was off. Yes, the autism is a challenge. I just listened to all the blocked and deleted voice mails from the last two years and it devastated me. I am glad I held my ground because it allowed me to see it was his marriage that was the problem not me. It was devastating to me every time he had to leave me and go back home. I do not want anybody else. I am deeply in love with him. He doesnít know that because I shut down for a long time. Part of the problem was his refusal to come to my church. I asked him every Sunday and he refused to participate. He wanted to be a part of my religion, I was not forcing him so his withholding himself is 50% of the problem. He has been silent for 29 days now and I can not apologize to him nor tell him I love him and am in love with him. Iím not sleeping and Iím losing weight. None of his friends have heard from him either. They all accept he does this but I do not. Heís never done it to me before. This is what his wife would experience when he would come see me. I feel awful for what she had to go through. I had no idea my happiness was bought with someone elseís pain. So, I know I can endure this and he assured me there is no one else. Since the last thing he said to me was that I accused him of gaslighting me, Iíve done everything I can to establish the truth.
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