FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Guest
Posts: n/a
|
#1
Scenario:
There is a certain manipulator in your life who used to offer to do nice things for you (like treat you to dinner) or give you gifts. It turned out that almost every single nice act of hers was followed by her asking you for a difficult favor, so that it's hard for you to say "No." Ever since you caught the pattern, you've been declining all of her invitations. But then she gives you an early Christmas gift using a mutual friend. You know it's impolite to not say "Thank you" but if you text her "Thank you," there is a 99 percent probability that she will say "My pleasure!" and follow it with asking you a favor. How would you respond? When someone gives you a gift and ask you for a favor, do you find it hard to say "No"? An example of potential conversation based on years of pattern: Me: "Thank you so much for the gift" Her: "My pleasure! I wanted to give this to you before I go travelling this weekend. Do you think you can drive me to the airport at 5 a.m. Saturday morning?" |
Reply With Quote |
Bill3, Buffy01
|
Bill3, Buffy01
|
Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 1,520 hugs
given |
#2
How about, "I'm so sorry, I have [other plans] [an appointment] that morning?
|
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7 |
#3
"no, I'll be sleeping in that day. I need the sleep. Maybe you could take an Uber?"
I know what you're going through here. I've had very similar people in my life. |
Reply With Quote |
Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
7 |
#4
You could also wait until Xmas day and say thanks by text
|
Reply With Quote |
Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,869 hugs
given |
#5
It depends who this person is to you and what kind of a relationship you want to have with them.
You could avoid their trap by not accepting the meals and certain gifts. You could reciprocate with like/kind gifts then feel you don’t owe anything and refuse to do the favors. You could accept the gifts, don’t reciprocate and refuse to do the favors. This option will certainly piss them off. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
Reply With Quote |
s4ndm4n2006
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,367
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given |
#6
“I have to be at (insert work, school, doctors, trip etc) and will not be able to drive you.”
Simple. |
Reply With Quote |
Reply |
|