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Old 12-14-2018, 04:14 PM #21
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Default Re: I am really struggling

He is likely playing games. No man with serious intentions and deep feelings for a woman, would behave in this manner towards her. Unless he was in coma for a month, there is no excuse to act this way. This hot and cold thing he is playing with you for years isnt a proper way to treat people.
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Old 12-14-2018, 05:35 PM #22
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Default Re: I am really struggling

I've been betrayed as well; just last month and I apologize if I'm a little curt here but that's due to my personality, nothing personal; I really think, leo, that either you are compromising on your standards when it comes to mates (this should be done realistically, of course) or you're aiming for higher value mates (in terms of the mating market). Whenever someone of greater mating value would be with you they are quite likely to ditch you because the relationship is not advantageous to them.



Hence, perhaps, you should focus on improving your own mate value (looks, charm, social position etc.,) and then go back into the mating market or aim for someone who is looking for the same thing but of the complimentary mate value as you.


In either case, leo, I think you should learn to live with your lonliness as well because there are no guarantees in this world. If you must be your own best asset then you should be that and this strategy also has the added benefits of giving you the best chances of thriving in whatever your environment becomes.


I'm sorry but that's how I view the world; brutal ground realities aren't easy to digest but they cannot be ignored. Hence, I would much rather embrace them and do what I can.



I hope my input helps and if I have offended you then I sincerely apologize, my intent was to be useful.


Regards.



Quote:
Originally Posted by leomama View Post
Its been a month since Ive been ghosted/discarded. My daughter is back in town and now I really wish my fianc was here to help me but hes gone without a trace. At the time we were in a relationship he had so much other stuff going on but now hes free and hes forsaken me.
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Old 12-14-2018, 05:40 PM #23
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Very well said & sage wise advice that I have personally experienced myself.
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Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 12-14-2018, 05:41 PM #24
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Improve my looks? I am really struggling I am really struggling did you see my avatar? No its the first one.
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Old 12-14-2018, 05:51 PM #25
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Looks is not as important. Being independent & able to take or leave guys puts you in control rather than being a victim of some guys whim. A much safer place to be.

Also having rules of who you are willing to get involved with. On my list is "NO MARRIED MAN" no matter how much they tell me they are going to get a divorce. Don't waste my time until you are duvorced then IF I am still available at that time I will determine my interest then. Having boundaries/ rules to live by definitely saves a lot of grief.
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Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 12-14-2018, 06:25 PM #26
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Im the one that pushed him away because of what we had been through but I want him back now. He said he wants to get back with me. Well see. Higher value? I am really struggling that would be me
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Old 12-14-2018, 08:26 PM #27
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Just because someone says they want to get back with you doesn't mean it is the right thing for you to do.

If yiu like being treated like crap...go for it but why anyone would willingly be treated like that by someone whosebreputation is already proved is totally beyond me. Desperate women never cpme out ahead or happy.
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Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 12-14-2018, 08:32 PM #28
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Im not desperate . I want to reconcile with the man I love.
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:15 PM #29
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Quote:
And yes Im starved for love but only his.
In any terms that spells desperate. Maybe you need to re-evaluate what you really want & why.
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I am really struggling



Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018
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Old 12-14-2018, 09:17 PM #30
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You focus on words a lot. Youd be better off if you look into peoples actions. This guy says a lot of things. His actions speak otherwise. Your standards in men are rather low. If you keep standards low, youll have low quality men and low quality relationship. Maybe improving your own life and your self esteem will get you better men (nothing to do wuth looks)

You long distance dated married man for 3 years, dating is a stretch here as you always had to beg him to see you. But he was married. Then he took another two years to get divorced. Before he even got divorced he broke up wuth you and ended engagement.

Year later you still claim to be engaged and keep begging for him to see you. You are willing to put up wuth him ghosting you for a month. He treats you poorly and plays games and you send him a message that you have no self respect by begging him.

Start respecting yourself. I understand you want to reconcile but it takes two. If a man wants you, nothing will stop him. And if he respects you, hed treat you well. He has no respect for you. You are starved for his love but he shows you none. He just says things.

Why oh why you keep pursuing him?
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