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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
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#61
Quote:
It’s just an email exchange at this point. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,752
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#62
Quote:
__________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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MickeyCheeky
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leomama, MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
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#63
Quote:
I’m Sorry, that’s not what I said. And since he’s not here to speak for himself I’m not going to repeat what he said. It’s obvious he’s living his life without me or else he would’ve called me. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,375
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#64
Even if he is having difficult time with relationships, he clearly is capable of dating and committing and having friendships/interactions/with women. He was married before even if it didn’t work out. So I’d say if he wants to be in a relationship, with you or anyone else, he knows how to. I’d not be telling him that he doesn’t have to be without you. It’s his call. I’d not assume his life is limited at all.
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MickeyCheeky
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leomama, MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 172 hugs
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#65
Quote:
I can only speak for myself. I am really struggling being apart from him. I know we both live with the daily heartbreak of being apart. However he and I have two different beliefs. He believes our future blew up, I believe it is alive and well. Our future is us and as long as we are alive, it is alive. He doesn't believe that I love him, am interested in him and that my feelings for him never changed and I don't know how to convince him I am telling him the truth. I do believe this is a function of his aspergers , and I know there is help out there for partners of people with aspergers. It was frightening what I was reading when I was researching that subject. People with aspergers act like narcissists even though the underlying reasons are different. They can come across as psychopaths even though the reasons for the behavior are different. As I said there is a kid in my complex with autism and he is nonverbal. His mother is constantly cajoling and reassuring and coraling him. Its exhausting. I'm not going to give up unless he tells me to. In the past he would tell me not to contact him and then the next day he would email me. This is how our relationship has been. It has been very volatile. I'm trying to bring peace to it now. I was his peak experience. And I am still alive and available and interested in him. He just has to come to believe that. So, no, I'm not going to give up. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 24,752
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19 14.6k hugs
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#66
Quote:
Quote:
Don't know but those words are a direct quote from what YOU POSTED in this thread. __________________ Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
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MickeyCheeky
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leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 172 hugs
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#67
Quote:
And I said I would not quote him as he is a former member of this forum and I have too much respect for him to do that. Why are we arguing about my words? How is this helping me? Look, he doesn’t believe I still love him and I never stopped loving him. He has aspergers or level 1 autism depending on your preference. I’m looking for help with that not to be judged for talking. |
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,375
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#68
I wonder what’s going on. You often post something but then in a very next post say that you never posted it. Maybe you don’t remember?
You called his life without you “limited”, then in a next post you are saying you never said it: “He seems content to live his life without me limited as it is and I’m trying to tell him he doesn’t have to do that, I’m right here.” Then few minutes later: “ I never said his life was limited” That’s why I sometimes wondered if you post about two different men or something else is going on |
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MickeyCheeky
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eskielover, MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,375
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9 1,277 hugs
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#69
Quote:
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MickeyCheeky
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leomama, MickeyCheeky
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#70
leomama, aspergers is on a spectrum some individuals have a harder time than others. However, they definitely DO struggle when it comes to connecting and relationships. This is what is contributing to what you "feel" are confusing messages that you have been getting from him. You keep saying you don't want to abandon him, yet he is STILL only interacting with you on a minimal level and you end up confused and clearly emotionally confused and even on a self blaming level that's not healthy for you. Then anytime something goes wrong and he goes silent it literally sends you spiraling through a loop and self blaming. He was married and struggling and you still wanted a relationship, and is he really divorced? Well who really knows, he barely communicates with you and you ended up getting badly triggered. Then you end up "confused" and desperate. This is just not healthy for you leomama.
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MickeyCheeky
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leomama, MickeyCheeky
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 172 hugs
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#71
Quote:
Why confused in quotes? |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 172 hugs
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#72
Quote:
I’m the one that ended it but it wasn’t a permanent ending, it was taking space. I agree I should not pursue him. So what do I do? |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,116
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#73
What do you do? Let go and allow yourself to heal, do you see a therapist now? Understand he is not abusing you, he is wired differently and doesn't think the way you do or connect the way you do.
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leomama
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Legendary
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Location: United States
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#74
I am sorry this is so painful for you leomama. Seeing a therapist might help. I also find support groups very helpful, and many of them are free.
But what will help most is time. I know it doesn't help you now to know that you will feel better in the future though. It sucks to wait. |
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leomama
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#75
Quote:
What do you mean by “what do you do?” Just live your life. Enjoy it. If you aren’t enjoying your life, seek help. But let this guy go |
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leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
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#76
Quote:
If I’m not enjoying my life, seek help? he said he broke up with me in November 2016. I can’t let him go . |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 172 hugs
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#77
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
10 172 hugs
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#78
Quote:
Yes I’m in ACA. I’ll never give up hope. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,116
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13 21.3k hugs
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#79
leomama, I responded to you in your ptsd thread and I think what I said rings true for you.
Quote:
It's important you understand that some people genuinely cannot connect and have relationships in a normal way, NOT your fault and nothing you do can change that person either. You have a confused way of looking at things because you never really experienced "normal". This guy just isn't normal, not capable of connecting with you either do you understand leo? |
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Blogwriter, leomama
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 4,703
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#80
Quote:
He’s working his way back to me. I found more email. I told you I’m not giving up on him. And I know I have “daddy issues” and he knows it too. We’ve dealt with those already and have a structure in place to address them. |
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