A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol. - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 01-31-2019, 04:49 PM #11
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.

What you're going through is profoundly difficult and I know it's especially difficult to see the path to balance when you're in the midst of of a hurricane.

It seems like our roles as parents is always evolving and each of you are respectively going through growing pains.

Suggestion: Make plans to get together, even if these issues aren't resolved. Going to a movies or having a potluck picnic in the park where everyone, including her, contributes something, is a good exercise but during those times, don't bring up all the issues or she'll never want to spend time with you. Talk to each other about things you're excited about and don't let it always be about the struggles and stresses.

Big hugs to you!

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Old 03-08-2019, 08:29 PM #12
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.

Hi Sarah. I do remember reading this (as you mentioned your daughter in response to my post recently, as well as the others' posts before). But I realized I haven't responded to this thread yet.

I don't think that I have enough love or grace in my heart to do what you did for your daughter. I feel like a person can only pour out so much until the pitcher is empty. I feel that you refill your pitcher by allowing others to pour in more love and encouragement into your life.
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Old 03-08-2019, 09:28 PM #13
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.

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Hi Sarah. I do remember reading this (as you mentioned your daughter in response to my post recently, as well as the others' posts before). But I realized I haven't responded to this thread yet.

I don't think that I have enough love or grace in my heart to do what you did for your daughter. I feel like a person can only pour out so much until the pitcher is empty. I feel that you refill your pitcher by allowing others to pour in more love and encouragement into your life.
Motherís life for her children is entirely different ball game than anything else
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Old 03-08-2019, 10:35 PM #14
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.

How are things going with this situation, SaraSweets?
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Old 03-08-2019, 11:15 PM #15
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Motherís life for her children is entirely different ball game than anything else
Yes, the amount of love is just amazing.
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Old 03-09-2019, 06:18 AM #16
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How are things going with this situation, SaraSweets?
Well as good as it can I guess. She is in yet another sober house and quit her job before they fired her for absences. To be fair she got really sick twice and had notes but when you miss work it still screws over the other workers on your shift and makes things harder. I am not saying she was deathly ill but I think she is the kind of person who gets a sniffle and things its the Plague. She got another job right away and of course its all " I love my job my coworkers and boss are so nice" but that is what she said about the last one. I totaled it and she has had 8 jobs in a year! I think some of it is millennial syndrome. That sense of entitlement.
As far as 12 step meetings she is still wrapped up in NA. No offense to those it worked for but around here its a bunch of 17-25 year olds all dating and breaking up with each other. Tons of drama. A lot of people I know who tried NA and moved to AA say that AA is what keeps them sober. But that could just be regional. She keeps on dating people even though 12 step living recommends against this in early sobriety. Boy crazy almost. And I am sure that involves lots of sex. I took her to the gyn when she had her first serious boyfriend and got her the implant because I know she isnt as responsible as she could be. I just hope she uses back up protection.
Her car died last week and thank god we have AAA plus. We had it towed home 40 miles for free. Hubby changed the starter and O2 sensor but its still gave us trouble. We took it in to the shop and we are getting it fixed. 1- so she can work. If she cant work she cant pay rent and her phone bill and 2- she would get kicked out and 3- would want to move in here and we cant tolerate that now. We had her stay with us between sober houses and it was tense. Like it or not through all of this she has her own independence and being accountable to her parents cramps that style. Rules at the recovery house are easy for her to follow because I am not the one giving them and expecting the courtesy of knowing where she is and when she is coming home.
Sometimes I wonder if things will ever be better. Before she left she had "checked" out as far as the family was concerned- the minute she had a boyfriend. Once something occupies her time like that its almost like pulling teeth to get her to want to be around us.

And OMG the way she talks now.. not cursing ( I curse alot) but slang that goes beyond "fleek, extra, hype and lit." Crap I have never heard and she tells me its because she has so many "hood" friends.
I just have to put one foot in front of the other, take care of my own sobriety and pray that one day I can feel joy instead of fear when she calls.
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Old 03-09-2019, 07:07 AM #17
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.

Has she ever been diagnosed with anything? I mean besides substance abuse? Some of the things you mention sound like there is more to it than just substance issue. Is she seeing a therapist? Psychiatrist? Iíd also say that 8 jobs in one year isnít a millennial thing in my experience. It sounds like she needs more professional help. Understandably there is nothing you can do. We have somewhat similar situation with one of my stepdaughters, she is older though.
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Old 03-09-2019, 10:12 AM #18
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.



Looking at the dates of this thread, I can see how I missed it. Wow. You've all been through so much as a family.
The 'hood' friends struck a cord with me. In a sense of ...gurl...don't ask for what you don't want(what I'd say to her not you)...
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Old 03-09-2019, 10:20 AM #19
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.

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Has she ever been diagnosed with anything? I mean besides substance abuse? Some of the things you mention sound like there is more to it than just substance issue.
Woops I should have shared that info. Yes, she has adhd and bipolar. She has been seeing a psychiatrist for 12 years. She has been hospitalized 4 times. She was told by the rehab/outpatient and her psychiatrist to see a therapist. I offered to show her how to find out if someone is in network but keeps skirting the issue. I handle all her other appointments/urgent care visits. I got her back to our psychiatrist after she was done with rehab although it took some convincing only because when she ran away the people she hung with convinced (a very naive and under-the-influence girl that we were drugging her for no reason and she could be free and be herself if she stopped meds. So she was a non-compliant patient.
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Old 03-09-2019, 11:43 AM #20
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Default Re: A story of my Becca- running away, drugs and alcohol.

Sarahsweets you are the winner of my annual JOB award. Thatís as in biblical, not employment. Itís amazing to me you can keep going at all.

One of my stepsons (now deceased) was a textbook alcoholic who started out in his teens and gave us and everyone else in the family a run for our money, but he was not quite shall we say ďactiveĒ as your daughter Becca.

Iíll be sending prayers your way. Who knows? Maybe itíll help. 😖
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