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#1
I never thought it would be like this... is this how it gets... I am at the point in my life were no one wants to hear me. NO ONE. No one wants to hear anything I have to say... no one cares at all.
I can't figure out how to get out of this pattern and also, what do I do? I mean I am starting to think it is a matter of training myself to speak less... perhaps I would even be happier? Workmate #1: Last week I got called for a job interview and I didn't go to the interview. She said, with lots of gust-o, that I couldn't complain about my job anymore. Errr.. first, I hardly ever complain about my job. And err, mostly I only do that because I need to have something to say to her. She complains so much about her job she can't stop herself from walking into my office constantly -- when the door is closed. I mean literally she keeps going on about how it is DOD day -- door open day -- because a noisy co worker is gone and I smile and SHUT MY DOOR. She just wants to talk bout her... that is it.. 100% and resents me getting a word in edgewise. Workmate #2: The thing is... she is busy right now, but I cannot walk into her office without her doing all the talking or leaving. I am sitting there eating my lunch and she isn't even in the office. I can't help but think she just doesn't want to talk to me. This irritates me because it is over on the other side of the building so I can't get my work done while she is gone. Workmate #3: ok how do you say this.... she takes an SSRI medication and she is so spaced out she can hardly maintain a conversation and I am tired of her not being responsive to what I just said and scattered brained. I think it is the SSRI but she just doesn't give one lick about me - I am more and more sure of it. The more I look around and try to find out the secret to people in my workplace surviving it seems like they have a strong family life. Sometimes I now wonder if that isn't the secret. They can be quite all day because when they go home they will have someone to truly listen to them. And they get it all out. But I don't have that... I thought, and it was this way when I was younger, I could have other people in work etc to listen, but I am not finding that. I am just finding users. I think, frankly, because I am single and they know it. So they feel i should be their dump ground and feel I am not worthy of anything going on with me. |
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Anonymous43949, guilloche, Open Eyes
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#2
It sounds like these co workers are far too self involved and don’t care to reciprocate listening. I learned over the years to rely on friends outside of work for real support and real conversations, whereby I would be heard and listened to. You mention family life but do u have close friends you can talk to? I’d rely on them not your co workers.
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luvyrself
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#3
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Me and my cat. And even he seems sick of me lately. |
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Anonymous40643, Open Eyes
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#4
Do you have hobbies or interests that allow u to meet people? That can help!
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#5
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They would prefer it if we just went to meetings and they were 10 minutes long. |
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#6
That must hurt your feelings, Emily! This is very unfair and condescending. Can you fake it that you should be out the door right at 5PM even though you have nothing to do in the evening, and in general make an impression of a busy social life?
__________________ Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
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#7
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And you don't need to continue to listen to their personal problems either if you don't want to. Now, as their behavior towards you, it sure sounds unfair that they dump all of their problems on you in a one-sided manner. Sometimes when you are single and have no kids, some people assume that you have "plenty of time" or a leeway to help them. But that's a wrong assumption. A single gal could have a lot on her plate too, like having to take care of her elderly, ill, or handicapped family member. The co-workers you mention do not seem to treat you with respect. I think you should protect yourself by keeping the relationship strictly professional with them. And I hope that you will eventually have the opportunity to meet great people. In the mean time, if it is any consolation, you are being heard here on PC. |
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AspiringAuthor
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#8
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I can't really understand how this keeps happening to me. I went through a period a few years ago where I was friends with people I didn't really want to be. Eventually they betrayed me. And now we don't talk. I am grateful that I no longer have to speak with them (mostly because we don't have to work with each other). And as soon as those people left me I got an entire new gaggle of people talking to me that aren't my friend... and they are just as disrespectful of the signs that I give them that I don't want to talk and just as unconcerned about me as a person. I can push back hard but they will be annoyed with me. It seems that pushing back hard is the only option. Anything less than that seems to get them to refuse to stop. |
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Anonymous43949
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#9
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__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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