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s4ndm4n2006
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Member Since: Jul 2014
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#41
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Seriously? do we even know what was going on in the movie? Depends on the situation I take offense to this BS: Quote:
Ummm... no. is that not an insulting statement to men everywhere? Seriously we are not walking sex monsters who only think of this... that's a scary way to talk about men and no wonder you would assume a woman is never safe with a man in a hotel room because. quite honestly it sounds like in your view men are simple minded sex fiends that can't help themselves. Sorry but that's really really insulting. |
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Member
Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#42
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Member
Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#43
Yeah, to him that’s the biggest problem. He actually said last night that my problems compared to his is like 90% on my end and 10% on his. I don’t understand how he can do this to me if he loves me like he says he does. I keep going back and forth between believing that I deserve this and not believing it. I’m so hurt.
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healingme4me
Needs a little reading lamp.
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
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#44
The details of the show are down below. I appreciate devils advocacy at the same time this is about the OPs husband storming off and threatening to go move in with his parents and telling her that she's this that and the other thing. To change or else.
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Doglover6335
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Doglover6335, sarahsweets
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Member
Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#45
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Anonymous40643
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#46
Quote:
Please don't try to get into an argument with me over this. This is beside the point and detracts from the main issue the OP is now having. Seriously, what is your problem? You're a PC chat leader even. Be more mature and adult like than this. Trying to get into an argument? PLEASE. I find your post to be very toxic and off-putting. |
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Doglover6335
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Doglover6335, sarahsweets
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Magnate
s4ndm4n2006
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
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#47
Quote:
But that's not the problem here as much as what is causing him to state that he's giving up on you. Has he done this in arguments before? |
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Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#48
Yeah, the initial argument is secondary to the fact that he walked out and plans to leave me, in my opinion. I keep going back to the details of that argument but it’s not helping me see why he left me.
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healingme4me
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Anonymous40643
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#49
What kind of mean things has he said to you? Can you give an example? It is totally understandable that you would have a negative and emotional reaction to him being cruel towards you! Please know this. And to the point of breaking down into sobbing tears? It must be pretty bad, what he says to you.
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Doglover6335
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Doglover6335
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Magnate
s4ndm4n2006
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
183 hugs
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#50
Quote:
I'm sorry if it seems toxic and off putting. I really hate it when people lump either women or men or any group into a negative stereotype. I really am not here to argue with you but I felt compelled to let you know that the way you worded that really is insulting to men. |
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Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#51
Quote:
Also, I feel the initial argument was really secondary to everything that happened afterwords in terms of relevance. I just can’t make sense of why that would lead him to do what he did. |
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Anonymous40643
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#52
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Please understand, however, that many, many men are like that. And if you cannot see that, then you don't see it. That is the way I see it, as well as many women. Most men want sex from women. Perhaps NOT YOU, but most. OK? Can we please drop this now? For the sake of the OP? I am personally dealing with a lot of crap in my own life and don't wish to argue with anyone about anything. We both are here on this thread to help the OP.... so let's do that. |
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Doglover6335
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Doglover6335
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Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#53
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An example is right before we got married I was dieting to make sure I would fit in my wedding dress (I’m small; under 125 but there was no room to gain anything in this dress) and he said randomly one night “Are you sure you’re gonna fit in your dress?” And i said yeah I’ve been dieting and he said “well it looks like you’ve been gaining weight so i doubt it.” Of course this launched me into a freakiut session cause I’m insecure. I was crying and shaking and so unhappy cause I just wanted him to think I was beautiful. He got SO angry at me for getting so upset at him for being “truthful” and ignored me for days. He threatened not to marry me but eventually said he’ll do it “only because I dont wanna disappoint my family” he apologized a few days later but it still hurts to think about. |
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Magnate
s4ndm4n2006
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
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#54
Quote:
If that's the case, let it go for now... it will pass but.. I also would look for a therapist either for you or your marriage, although considering the picture I'm seeing of him he doesn't sound like the type to actually admit he's doing much wrong. |
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Perpetually Pondering
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healingme4me
Needs a little reading lamp.
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
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#55
Quote:
Where's the concern and going to the doctor with you? His animosity towards you is concerning. |
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Doglover6335
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Doglover6335
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Magnate
s4ndm4n2006
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
183 hugs
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#56
Quote:
It's fine, ty for clarifying and your apology. that's all I needed to say about it, and not here to derail anything. |
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sarahsweets
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Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#57
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Anonymous40643
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#58
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The loving response would be to joke with you about being forgetful, but in a very loving and affectionate way, and to remind you of how beautiful you are at any weight. His threats are concerning. It seems to me he threatens you when he wants to gain control over YOU and your reactions. I agree with the above that this is all very concerning. And again, this sounds like emotional abuse to me the more you tell us. |
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Doglover6335
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Doglover6335, Open Eyes
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Member
Doglover6335
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Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: Florida
Posts: 109
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#59
Quote:
Yeah, it really sucks and I hate that anyone has to go through this kind of pain. He hasn’t ever really showed concern about it; only annoyance. The only slight sign of concern he has shown recently was when he said he was leaving last night, he made me promise not to hurt myself and said he would divorce me immediately if I did. |
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healingme4me
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Magnate
s4ndm4n2006
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
183 hugs
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#60
Quote:
Obviously this is not easy for you due to your anxiety but the first thing that needs to happen is that you learn not to allow the manipulation to actually work on you. When he says "I'm done.. leaving.. etc" you need to be able to say. "Ok. I'm sorry you feel that way, let me know if you change your mind" showing him that you're strong and not letting this get the reaction he wants out of you. That's where you need to be if you're ever to make it clear that this threatening behavior is not ok. Obviously you should both be in counseling but Idk if that will happen before he realizes that he's not going to get his way anymore or not. |
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Innerzone
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