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Old 03-13-2019, 04:38 PM #1
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Default How do you handle loneliness?

Iíve always been a loner, never really having too many friends or dating much. At 21 Iíve never been in a relationship. I have anxiety, ocd and depression. Iím usually okay with isolating myself from others and the loneliness never bothered me. But now itís starting to. I currently attend college and see people interacting, dating and etc, and it bothers/ angers me that Iím not doing that. Iím extremely shy and awkward so making friends/dating is something thatís really hard for me. Anyone else feel like this? How do you handle loneliness ?
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Old 03-14-2019, 03:59 AM #2
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

I feel the same way and it is frustrating to see everyone around you moving through life so smoothly. I donít have suggestions on how to improve the situation as I always fail epically at making friends etc. Iím sure someone here will have better information for you though.
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Old 03-16-2019, 08:57 PM #3
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ken9018 View Post
Iíve always been a loner, never really having too many friends or dating much. At 21 Iíve never been in a relationship. I have anxiety, ocd and depression. Iím usually okay with isolating myself from others and the loneliness never bothered me. But now itís starting to. I currently attend college and see people interacting, dating and etc, and it bothers/ angers me that Iím not doing that. Iím extremely shy and awkward so making friends/dating is something thatís really hard for me. Anyone else feel like this? How do you handle loneliness ?
I get how you feel. I'm 30 now and have been in a relationship for 5 years. But when I was your age I was in the same position as you. What helped me was exposure practice. I went online and met a couple guys and decided to just meet them. Just one meeting to see how it went. No pressure or expectations. Maybe you can try something like that. Just find someone to hang out with and push yourself to just go meet them. The more you push yourself to get out there, the easier it gets.
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Old 03-17-2019, 09:38 PM #4
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tallen01 View Post
I feel the same way and it is frustrating to see everyone around you moving through life so smoothly. I donít have suggestions on how to improve the situation as I always fail epically at making friends etc. Iím sure someone here will have better information for you though.
yes, its usually an epic fail for me also when I try making friends!
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Old 03-17-2019, 09:41 PM #5
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ylba View Post
I get how you feel. I'm 30 now and have been in a relationship for 5 years. But when I was your age I was in the same position as you. What helped me was exposure practice. I went online and met a couple guys and decided to just meet them. Just one meeting to see how it went. No pressure or expectations. Maybe you can try something like that. Just find someone to hang out with and push yourself to just go meet them. The more you push yourself to get out there, the easier it gets.
I did try dating online a few times and even met some people. But then i guess I just sunk back into being a loner and now it bothering me a little more than usual
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Old 03-17-2019, 11:16 PM #6
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

Sorry you're lonely. Have you tried volunteering? Nice positive way to meet people with a common goal. Less pressure than a date or suddenly trying to make a new friend.
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Old 03-21-2019, 12:35 AM #7
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ken9018 View Post
Iíve always been a loner, never really having too many friends or dating much. At 21 Iíve never been in a relationship. I have anxiety, ocd and depression. Iím usually okay with isolating myself from others and the loneliness never bothered me. But now itís starting to. I currently attend college and see people interacting, dating and etc, and it bothers/ angers me that Iím not doing that. Iím extremely shy and awkward so making friends/dating is something thatís really hard for me. Anyone else feel like this? How do you handle loneliness ?
I've never really been a shy person but my depression did kick into a higher gear during sophomore year. I started isolating myself and shortly after felt a sense of loneliness when I couldn't reach out to people. I kept seeing people I once called "friends" doing things without me and going on dates and etc. But the thing is, I think seeing everyone being active is what made me feel lonely and not me being alone. Because society constantly tells college kids you're supposed to be social. And thanks to SM, the world says you're a "nobody" if you're not. And although you may not believe that, your brain still internalizes those messages and you may develop a sense of loneliness... because your brain thinks you're devoid of human interaction. But are you truly devoid of human interaction? Do you really not have satisfying moments between you and people you care about? Are you truly ready to go on dates and make new friends or do you feel pressured to do these things because you see everyone else doing them? I think sitting down with those questions and thinking really hard on them will help you. I hope they do!
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Old 03-23-2019, 06:55 PM #8
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

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Sorry you're lonely. Have you tried volunteering? Nice positive way to meet people with a common goal. Less pressure than a date or suddenly trying to make a new friend.
Thats something that I wouldn't mind trying, I do enjoy helping people. Thanks.
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Old 03-23-2019, 06:55 PM #9
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 0notreallyhere0 View Post
I've never really been a shy person but my depression did kick into a higher gear during sophomore year. I started isolating myself and shortly after felt a sense of loneliness when I couldn't reach out to people. I kept seeing people I once called "friends" doing things without me and going on dates and etc. But the thing is, I think seeing everyone being active is what made me feel lonely and not me being alone. Because society constantly tells college kids you're supposed to be social. And thanks to SM, the world says you're a "nobody" if you're not. And although you may not believe that, your brain still internalizes those messages and you may develop a sense of loneliness... because your brain thinks you're devoid of human interaction. But are you truly devoid of human interaction? Do you really not have satisfying moments between you and people you care about? Are you truly ready to go on dates and make new friends or do you feel pressured to do these things because you see everyone else doing them? I think sitting down with those questions and thinking really hard on them will help you. I hope they do!
Those are really good questions and I'm stewing on them already. Thanks for the insight.
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Old 03-25-2019, 06:33 AM #10
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Default Re: How do you handle loneliness?

ken everything you said is exactly like me exept im 25 i feel your pain
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