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Buffy01
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Default Mar 16, 2019 at 08:43 PM
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Has anyone ever experienced codependency in a relationship? Anyone ever felt like they were people pleaser?
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Ylba
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Default Mar 16, 2019 at 08:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
Has anyone ever experienced codependency in a relationship? Anyone ever felt like they were people pleaser?
I'm not a people pleaser but I'm in a very codependent relationship. I've been in it for 5 years now and have wanted to leave for the majority of it.
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Default Mar 17, 2019 at 04:48 AM
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I think many of us have experienced codependency in relationships. I think it's very common for people with mental illness to attract or be a part of the lives of other people with mental illness. The key is recognizing it and moving forward from it. It is not a healthy way to live. Sometimes we have to disengage from people that we love because of codependency

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Default Mar 17, 2019 at 09:02 AM
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Has anyone ever experienced codependency in a relationship? Anyone ever felt like they were people pleaser?
Yes. And yes.
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MrBrains
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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 01:47 PM
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Yes, I was very codependent with my ex wife.

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Default Mar 18, 2019 at 08:28 PM
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Oh yeah, it's part of being an INFJ. But I'm working on it.
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Default Mar 19, 2019 at 03:22 AM
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Yes, sometimes I didn't even realize it because it crept up on me after many years and I was modeling some of my dad's codependent behaviors. Some of it I need to change or have already changed. Talking about my interactions between my H and son and me with a therapist helped. Where you draw the line is your own choice. I am learning better when to say "No" but sometimes I also want to do things for others. That is OK too.

When you are married, you depend on each other. So you have to make compromises with your partner that make sense for both of you. How dependent you are on each other is a personal choice from my POV.
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Default Mar 20, 2019 at 07:15 AM
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Yes and I am always working on it. Once you see it, you never want to fall back into it but you have to stay aware.
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TishaBuv
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Default Mar 20, 2019 at 07:20 AM
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It sounds like this might be an issue for me. I’ve certainly never been called a people pleaser, lol! Perhaps I do eventually do exactly as they want, just after I bytch and cry about it. Yuck ME

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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 12:12 AM
  #10
Do not consider myself a "people pleaser" by any means but I have let things slide when it comes to loved ones. Not a lot of stuff but "too much" in hindsight. I've gotten better over the years and now it's a situational issue.
For example, pretty sure my current relationship is one of codependency. Things are much more complicated than I'm willing to say atm. But yes, I have been in a codependent relationship and it sucks. And depending on what kind of dependency you fall under (or if you're the one someone is dependent on), you can feel trapped.
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 10:45 PM
  #11
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Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
Yes and I am always working on it. Once you see it, you never want to fall back into it but you have to stay aware.
Yes that's it. The important thing you can is be aware and stay aware. Awareness of the truth of the relationship and how fair is to you both. imho.
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