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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#1
Me and my bf have had our ups and downs, but things are getting better. I was actually working out 3+ times a week and was feeling good emotionally and physically and therefore, our relationship was feeling healthy. Until this week...I was with him after work one day and my gym schedule got messed with..now I am not feeling great this week. My diet is suffering, my well being, etc. Now he has decided he is going to start training again, and you bet if it means he does the training instead of being with me he will do it (I’m guessing) now I feel insecure and resentful. I should feel supportive and happy that he’s doing something to feel good about himself, but I don’t 😐
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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#2
Is there a neutral way you can talk about your feelings? Can you ask him why your gym time is less important than his? It seems to really make your week harder. What if you went when you wanted to go anyway? What would happen?
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#3
nothing. It wasn’t his fault, it was mine but now I’m resentful for not being more disciplined.
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#4
I think you are allowing your life to evolve around this man way too much (it seems to be an ongoing theme of your relationship and possibly your previous relationships too).
Why don’t you just go to gym when you feel like it? Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you Must be attached 24/7 or neglect your needs to keep other person happy at all times. You diet and well being and exercise suffer because of your choice to be with him instead you can reach healthier balance if you don’t put men first at all times. It’s normal to make each other a priority. But it seems that you are making him a priority at all times and to detriment to your own well being. While he makes you a priority only when it suits his schedule. This imbalance probably makes you feel insecure. |
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Anonymous43949
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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#5
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#6
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
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#7
It sounds like you also need to make yourself a priority, just as he is. I have found that us females can often put far more energy into our relationships than into ourselves. I’ve been guilty of that myself. Balance and self care is important in a relationship.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Anonymous43949
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