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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 08:26 AM
  #1
Me and my bf have had our ups and downs, but things are getting better. I was actually working out 3+ times a week and was feeling good emotionally and physically and therefore, our relationship was feeling healthy. Until this week...I was with him after work one day and my gym schedule got messed with..now I am not feeling great this week. My diet is suffering, my well being, etc. Now he has decided he is going to start training again, and you bet if it means he does the training instead of being with me he will do it (I’m guessing) now I feel insecure and resentful. I should feel supportive and happy that he’s doing something to feel good about himself, but I don’t 😐
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sarahsweets
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 08:48 AM
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Is there a neutral way you can talk about your feelings? Can you ask him why your gym time is less important than his? It seems to really make your week harder. What if you went when you wanted to go anyway? What would happen?

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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Is there a neutral way you can talk about your feelings? Can you ask him why your gym time is less important than his? It seems to really make your week harder. What if you went when you wanted to go anyway? What would happen?
nothing. It wasn’t his fault, it was mine but now I’m resentful for not being more disciplined.
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divine1966
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 10:22 AM
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I think you are allowing your life to evolve around this man way too much (it seems to be an ongoing theme of your relationship and possibly your previous relationships too).

Why don’t you just go to gym when you feel like it? Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you Must be attached 24/7 or neglect your needs to keep other person happy at all times. You diet and well being and exercise suffer because of your choice to be with him instead you can reach healthier balance if you don’t put men first at all times.

It’s normal to make each other a priority. But it seems that you are making him a priority at all times and to detriment to your own well being. While he makes you a priority only when it suits his schedule. This imbalance probably makes you feel insecure.
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 11:03 AM
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I think you are allowing your life to evolve around this man way too much (it seems to be an ongoing theme of your relationship and possibly your previous relationships too).

Why don’t you just go to gym when you feel like it? Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you Must be attached 24/7 or neglect your needs to keep other person happy at all times. You diet and well being and exercise suffer because of your choice to be with him instead you can reach healthier balance if you don’t put men first at all times.

It’s normal to make each other a priority. But it seems that you are making him a priority at all times and to detriment to your own well being. While he makes you a priority only when it suits his schedule. This imbalance probably makes you feel insecure.
in all fairness, he did ask me which day I’m free so if it was a gym day, I shouldn’t have told him I’m free...
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I think you are allowing your life to evolve around this man way too much (it seems to be an ongoing theme of your relationship and possibly your previous relationships too).

Why don’t you just go to gym when you feel like it? Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you Must be attached 24/7 or neglect your needs to keep other person happy at all times. You diet and well being and exercise suffer because of your choice to be with him instead you can reach healthier balance if you don’t put men first at all times.

It’s normal to make each other a priority. But it seems that you are making him a priority at all times and to detriment to your own well being. While he makes you a priority only when it suits his schedule. This imbalance probably makes you feel insecure.
I agree with Divine based on the info you've given us, unless there is more to it than what you shared.
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Default Mar 21, 2019 at 11:43 AM
  #7
It sounds like you also need to make yourself a priority, just as he is. I have found that us females can often put far more energy into our relationships than into ourselves. I’ve been guilty of that myself. Balance and self care is important in a relationship.

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