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Old 03-21-2019, 08:26 AM #1
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Default Insecurity in a relationship

Me and my bf have had our ups and downs, but things are getting better. I was actually working out 3+ times a week and was feeling good emotionally and physically and therefore, our relationship was feeling healthy. Until this week...I was with him after work one day and my gym schedule got messed with..now I am not feeling great this week. My diet is suffering, my well being, etc. Now he has decided he is going to start training again, and you bet if it means he does the training instead of being with me he will do it (Iím guessing) now I feel insecure and resentful. I should feel supportive and happy that heís doing something to feel good about himself, but I donít 😐
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Old 03-21-2019, 08:48 AM #2
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Default Re: Insecurity in a relationship

Is there a neutral way you can talk about your feelings? Can you ask him why your gym time is less important than his? It seems to really make your week harder. What if you went when you wanted to go anyway? What would happen?
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Old 03-21-2019, 08:53 AM #3
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Default Re: Insecurity in a relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Is there a neutral way you can talk about your feelings? Can you ask him why your gym time is less important than his? It seems to really make your week harder. What if you went when you wanted to go anyway? What would happen?
nothing. It wasnít his fault, it was mine but now Iím resentful for not being more disciplined.
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Old 03-21-2019, 10:22 AM #4
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Default Re: Insecurity in a relationship

I think you are allowing your life to evolve around this man way too much (it seems to be an ongoing theme of your relationship and possibly your previous relationships too).

Why donít you just go to gym when you feel like it? Being in a relationship doesnít mean you Must be attached 24/7 or neglect your needs to keep other person happy at all times. You diet and well being and exercise suffer because of your choice to be with him instead you can reach healthier balance if you donít put men first at all times.

Itís normal to make each other a priority. But it seems that you are making him a priority at all times and to detriment to your own well being. While he makes you a priority only when it suits his schedule. This imbalance probably makes you feel insecure.
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Old 03-21-2019, 11:03 AM #5
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Default Re: Insecurity in a relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I think you are allowing your life to evolve around this man way too much (it seems to be an ongoing theme of your relationship and possibly your previous relationships too).

Why donít you just go to gym when you feel like it? Being in a relationship doesnít mean you Must be attached 24/7 or neglect your needs to keep other person happy at all times. You diet and well being and exercise suffer because of your choice to be with him instead you can reach healthier balance if you donít put men first at all times.

Itís normal to make each other a priority. But it seems that you are making him a priority at all times and to detriment to your own well being. While he makes you a priority only when it suits his schedule. This imbalance probably makes you feel insecure.
in all fairness, he did ask me which day Iím free so if it was a gym day, I shouldnít have told him Iím free...
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Old 03-21-2019, 11:11 AM #6
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Default Re: Insecurity in a relationship

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
I think you are allowing your life to evolve around this man way too much (it seems to be an ongoing theme of your relationship and possibly your previous relationships too).

Why donít you just go to gym when you feel like it? Being in a relationship doesnít mean you Must be attached 24/7 or neglect your needs to keep other person happy at all times. You diet and well being and exercise suffer because of your choice to be with him instead you can reach healthier balance if you donít put men first at all times.

Itís normal to make each other a priority. But it seems that you are making him a priority at all times and to detriment to your own well being. While he makes you a priority only when it suits his schedule. This imbalance probably makes you feel insecure.
I agree with Divine based on the info you've given us, unless there is more to it than what you shared.
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Old 03-21-2019, 11:43 AM #7
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Default Re: Insecurity in a relationship

It sounds like you also need to make yourself a priority, just as he is. I have found that us females can often put far more energy into our relationships than into ourselves. Iíve been guilty of that myself. Balance and self care is important in a relationship.
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