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Old 04-12-2019, 05:04 PM #1
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Trig Suicidal thoughts

For months I've been having suicidal thoughts yet I would never ever act on them. They just swirl around my head and worse if I'm having a bad day.

I want to tell my parener about this but how on earth do I do that without making him worry or look at my differently?!

There never seems a good time. He's recently had an operation so has been recovering. He's busy with work and burnt out. So for me to put this on him will be enormous right now.

I cry a lot. Have emotional rollercoasters which I can't seem to control then take it out on him. He asked me to get some things from the shop then didn't say thanks when I came back. I broke down and burst into tears saying how I feel unappreciated. I know he appreciates me but I couldn't stop the tears. He asked what was wrong I said nothing, he tried to dig deeper but I pushed him away.

Im having telephone therapy for anxiety and want to share this with my therapist but I remember him saying at the start that this is confidential unless his things I'm a danger to myself etc I don't want anything to happen as I will never go through with it, just can't stop the thoughts

Last edited by FooZe; 04-12-2019 at 07:38 PM. Reason: added trigger icon
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:26 PM #2
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Smile Re: Suicidal thoughts

Well... I have suicidal thoughts that swirl around in my head pretty-much continuously. Plus I've made several attempts in that direction as well. I don't talk to anyone about it. I just keep it all to myself. (Not recommended.) I don't see a therapist. And my spouse wouldn't want to hear it. She wouldn't know what to do & it would just upset her. I would have to admit too that I also have a tendency to take it out on my spouse.

You mentioned being concerned about sharing your suicidal thoughts with your husband. And I'd be inclined to agree with you on that especially given the circumstances you describe. However you also expressed concern about talking this over with your therapist. I can certainly understand your apprehension. But my personal opinion would be you need find someone with whom you can share what's going on. For one thing it's not psychologically healthy for you to keep trying to keep the lid on this, so to speak. (I should talk...) And it's clearly not doing your marriage any good either. Perhaps writing, here on PC, about the thoughts you're having can be of some help. But if it's not enough, I would like to encourage you to find somewhere to share your suicidal thoughts. Perhaps there might be a support group you could attend? My best wishes to you...
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Old 04-12-2019, 06:59 PM #3
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

Many therapists will allow patients to discuss suicidal thoughts, as they should. Therapists are required to intervene only if a patient expresses an imminent danger of harm to self or others. That would typically involve not just having suicidal thoughts, but also having a plan, the means to accomplish that plan, and an imminent intention to do so.

I agree that it would be very important to be able to speak your thoughts to an experienced listener such as a therapist or a hotline listener such as can be reached 24/7 at the National Suicide Hotline, 1-800-373-TALK.
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:00 PM #4
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

You need to call the Suicide Hotline. Message boards are not an appropriate place to discuss this topic. I'm not a moderator, but it's not appropriate to discuss it here.


Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255
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Old 04-12-2019, 07:10 PM #5
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

Please seek help ASAP. Call your doctor. Therapist. Take yourself to ER. Suicide hotline mentioned above. This isnít something to take lightly. Do it right now.
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Old 04-13-2019, 12:13 PM #6
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

Yes call someone. I'm going through some tough stuff myself and it's nice to talk about it with people so I get on here to tell others I dont know and if that's not enough for you, call the suicide hotline please your life is valuable! Dont forget that! My heart is hurting more for you!
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:17 AM #7
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

I'm not going to kill myself.

I'm just having a lot of unwanted thoughts. This is why I didn't want to discuss with therapist etc. These are purely thoughts that I will not act upon
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Old 04-14-2019, 06:48 AM #8
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

How significantly are these thoughts affecting your life?
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Old 04-14-2019, 09:29 AM #9
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Icedgem View Post
I'm not going to kill myself.

I'm just having a lot of unwanted thoughts. This is why I didn't want to discuss with therapist etc. These are purely thoughts that I will not act upon
I have a close family member commit suicide. He also just had thoughts and was also not going to act upon it. Until he did. If you make posts about having suicidal thoughts, please be aware that many of us here are effected by it personally and professionally and arenít going to take it lightly. If you arenít willing to get help with this, what was the purpose of such thread in online forum?
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Old 04-14-2019, 10:23 AM #10
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Default Re: Suicidal thoughts

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Icedgem! I'm afraid I must agree with all the other great, wise, wonderful posters here! You've been given lots of great, wise, wonderful advice on this thread! Please try to follow it AS MUCH AS YOU CAN IF YOU CAN! Please try to reach out to a professional as soon as you can or call an hotline? Even if you don't want to act on these suicidal thoughts you're having, they're STILL suicidal thoughts and you MAY act on them if you're not getting the treatment you need and deserve! I'd also suggest to talk to your partner about this if you can! I understand why you may have doubts about all of this, but it's important that you talk to him about this and see how it goes from there! PLEASE TRY TO GET SOME HELP! You're a STRONG, WONDERFUL PERSON and you WILL get out of this! Just try to do your best! That's all we humans can do after all and it's ALWAYS more than enough! There's no need to be ashamed in admitting that you're struggling and in asking for help! Please think about that! Try not to worry too much You MATTER and you're WORTH IT! Please do it for yourself and your partner! You ARE important and you DESERVE to GET BETTER! PLEASE REMEMBER THAT! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Icedgem!
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