I'm an attention ***** (help pls)

I didn't realize until someone said that there's something wrong with me. And then here's the list that I think are pretty gross but I did them without reason

- pretending to be drunk
- kinda flirting with men and friendzoned them
- I do self harm and showing off the scar "accidentally"
- I have eating disorder, but only show my bullimia part to others (not diagnosed, but I think I have anorexia binge/purge subtype)
- Someone thought I am in abusive relationship because of self harm scars, and today I got an eye infection (kinda swollen) and decided to put on make up on it to make it look like a bruise.

I always love the attention, the reaction they give me. It is comforting to see someone worried about me.

The problem is I always show those petty sides with someone who's crushing on me, or close friends, because I know they care a lot about me. But once they get too close and personal, I got too uncomfortable and push them away.

It's not like I don't know my behaviors are wrong, I just did it unconsciously and then regret it later cause they were honestly stupid. I got into some problems too because of that, having difficulty to maintain friendships. It gets awkward sometimes, and one of my close friend left already.

And for some reason, I usually try to act "normal" and cool around my crushes, hiding how rotten I am inside. I don't want them to think I'm weird or anything.

And wow after writing this I just realized that I act like a ****** so much. I hate it, I hate myself for being like this. Isn't there anything I can do to stop this?

Are you in therapy? If not, I highly recommend seeing a professional counselor. That’s a lot of issues you laid out, eating disorder, self- harm and attention seeking. It seems you are screaming for help by faking things and wanting ppl to worry about you and care about you.

Only a professional can work with you on resolving your attention seeking behaviors and all the rest. It’s going to take time to work through each of these issues. And patience.

But you deserve to live a happy and healthy life, and you need to get healthy yourself. Right now, you’re not healthy. There is nothing wrong with that, we all here have mental health issues that need working on. It’s par for the course. HUGS and I wish you all the best!

It’s awesome you recognize that there are issues. How old are you? I know ton of teens who do things to get attention because they often lack it in their life. Is there a chance you can see a doctor or psychiatrist about it? It’s important that you get help

Thank you for replying... I do think of reaching professional help, and I did go to school counselor once. But It makes me feel worse because admitting I have problems is just.... petty, at least to me. especially that my family think mental illnesses are non existent and something people made up.

how old are you? Are you still living with your parents? Your issues are very real and are mental health issues. You need professional assistance. Can you see a counselor at your school again? Without the help of your family?

hey. I’m 20, idk if I still count as a teen. I was a good student, without drama and basically my worries was only about my grade. I know some classmates who did what I am doing now and I thought that’s weird and strange. That’s why when I do those things myself, I feel really gross

I’m 20. I think I can get help without involving my family, and seeing the conselour again, but idk I just feel hollow and unfixable after the session.

the conselour was sweet, but I just don’t feel satisfied with her reaction compared when I told others. She just listened and was being too calm. so I don’t go there anymore...

What kind of reaction are you looking for from the counselor?

A professional will not react the same way as a friend would. A counselor will be more calm and professional about it. They're not going to go into hysterics, and fall of their char. Their job IS to remain calm in order to truly help.

Please do go back to the counselor and give it a chance. You have to give therapy and help a chance. One or two times isn't enough to make any kind of difference. It takes dedication, commitment, and going back to the counselor week after week, allowing them to get to know you better.

I think that her job as a counsellor is to remain calm.

I might be more concerned if she showed an extreme emotional reaction, as a professional she has been trained to channel her emotions and to talk to her supervisor if necessary about her emotions, in my opinion.

Thank you guys, I’m gonna see her again today I think