advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Anonymous59067
Guest
Anonymous59067 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 13, 2019 at 10:17 PM
  #1
I left my ex about a year ago, we were together for 6 years.
Six months ago he picked up a new girlfriend and has told me they are planning on getting married.
(We have a child and he feels the need to brag everytime we communicate. Which happens in the middle of conversations regarding our child, the only time I will communicate with him.)
Despite this I noticed he brags about working out, volunteering, entrys in 5ks and all types of things I could never get him to do while we whlere together.
Have you noticed an abusive ex faking interests for their new supply?
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous44076, Bill3, Fuzzybear

advertisement
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2019 at 05:23 AM
  #2
I am married so I dont have experience with this but it sounds like he really wants to impress you or hurt you. Is he doing those things or just bragging about it?

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
divine1966
Legendary Wise Elder
 
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 Tired!!!
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,303 (SuperPoster!)
8 yr Member
1,274 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2019 at 06:29 AM
  #3
I am married but I do have an ex husband, albeit he isn’t abusive and we are on friendly terms. If he was abusive, I’d be only talking about our child and only in writing. There are apps like our family wizzard where you can type back and forth info that pertains to custody, no need to engage in conversations

Saying that, there might be ton of reasons why people do things in new relationships that they didn’t do before.

Often when people are unhappy (which is worth to assume you and your husband weren’t or you’d still be married) people don’t do fun stuff. New relationship boosts all kind of interest.

Or there could be other reasons. My husband did nothing while married to his ex because he simply couldn’t afford it supporting 4 people as she refused to get a job and he was too stressed about everything that was going wrong at all times. We on the other hand have two nice incomes together and we are overall happy so he isn’t stressed all the time so we can do ton on things, together or on our own.

My ex husband sails his yacht all over, including crossing Atlantic Ocean. It was always a dream of his. He sure didn't do when we were married. Ton of reasons why.

If he doesn’t do any of it and just brags to you, then who cares what’s his deal with. He is an ex, exes are exes for a reason. Tell him to stick to a topic of your kid.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Iloivar
Bill3
Legendary
Bill3 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 10,923
15 yr Member
24.1k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2019 at 07:36 AM
  #4
To what extent does he have a genuine wish to include you in his (alleged) happiness?

—versus—

To what extent is he saying these things to try to hurt you?
Bill3 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Have Hope
Wise Elder
 
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,043 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
3,619 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2019 at 11:49 AM
  #5
It seems he wants to try and make you think he's super happy and is shoving his happiness in your face to hurt you. He's probably still butt hurt that you left him.

__________________
"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

~4 Non Blondes
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Anonymous48672
Guest
Anonymous48672 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Apr 14, 2019 at 12:56 PM
  #6
It's pretty clear that he's interrupting your conversations about your shared child to try to keep emotionally abusing you. Just live in Reality II, not Reality I (The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans -- a fantastic book I'm reading right now; have you read it yet?) and interrupt him EVERY TIME he tries to derail that conversation back to himself. If you interrupt him consistently, even if you sound repetitive, he'll see that you won't put up with his abusive behavior anymore. If you have full custody of your child together, write down every phone call or visit where he behaves this way, in case you need to go in front of a judge again. Record the conversations on your phone (there's an app that does it) if you have to, to play for the judge.

Cover your bases. That's what you have to do.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3
sarahsweets
Threadtastic Postaholic
 
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
192 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 14, 2019 at 01:15 PM
  #7

__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Gymgirl71
Member
 
Gymgirl71's Avatar
Gymgirl71 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
8 yr Member
6 hugs
given
Default Apr 16, 2019 at 09:40 AM
  #8
This sounds like my ex! It’s psychological abuse. He did it when we were together. How ambitious he is, his plans for his future, how great a shape he in and when he goes to the gym he goes in HARD, how he is going to be a millionaire one day and has such high standards..I mean everytime we were on the phone..I had to roll my eyes lol..he went to the gym 6 times in 5 months..such a gym rat he is lol
Gymgirl71 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
s4ndm4n2006
Magnate
 
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,052
8 yr Member
183 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 16, 2019 at 10:46 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by Regainingstrength View Post
I left my ex about a year ago, we were together for 6 years.
Six months ago he picked up a new girlfriend and has told me they are planning on getting married.
(We have a child and he feels the need to brag everytime we communicate. Which happens in the middle of conversations regarding our child, the only time I will communicate with him.)
Despite this I noticed he brags about working out, volunteering, entrys in 5ks and all types of things I could never get him to do while we whlere together.
Have you noticed an abusive ex faking interests for their new supply?

The only reason you should even be conversing with this person is for the sake of the child, nothing more. Who cares what his motivations or intentions are really, he's an ex for a reason. As stated in your title, he's an abusive ex so why would you put yourself in harm's way even verbally when you've broken off the relationship?
s4ndm4n2006 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Fuzzybear
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,301 (SuperPoster!)
20 yr Member
81.2k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Apr 16, 2019 at 01:25 PM
  #10

__________________
Fuzzybear is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
maria5043
New Member
maria5043 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: Australia
Posts: 6
5 yr Member
Default Apr 19, 2019 at 08:28 AM
  #11
It sounds about right. My ex always seemed to have his life completely in order when he was trying to get me back or make me feel bad about not being with him anymore. Somehow they have this radar to be able to do just that, say the right things, maybe even do them. Don't let him make you feel bad.
maria5043 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
Bill3
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:25 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.