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Old 04-14-2019, 08:06 PM #11
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Default Re: Reflecting on my soon to be ex

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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
If he reads your text drunk then he will reread it sober. Itís not your job to wait for him to sober up. I normally am not in support of ghosting but in this case itís a valid option too
Ghosting? Why?
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Old 04-14-2019, 10:56 PM #12
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Default Re: Reflecting on my soon to be ex

Try to look at this individual you are leaving and a person who needs to heal and he feels broken and needs help. He hurts himself more than anyone else in this so wish him well and leave him to work on his healing, hopefully he will continue seeing a therapist.
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Old 04-15-2019, 05:18 AM #13
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Ghosting? Why?
Your therapist suggested that so I agreed it might be ok. Normally ghosting is wrong but not here.

It doesnít sound like relationship is still going on. He told you he doesnít feel the same and he distanced himself, it is a sign that he is bailing out. He is in your area but doesnít see you. The only way you saw him is going to his house once a week and watch him being passed out drunk.

Itís not like this guy comes gets you for dates and constantly calls you and already purchased tickets fir a show or a trip and have dates planned and is commited to you but you will ghost him. That would be wrong.

But there is really not much going on between you two. You want to inform him that relationship is over but itís already pretty much over. So it would be ok to just go on with your life
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Old 04-15-2019, 05:22 AM #14
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Default Re: Reflecting on my soon to be ex

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Try to look at this individual you are leaving and a person who needs to heal and he feels broken and needs help. He hurts himself more than anyone else in this so wish him well and leave him to work on his healing, hopefully he will continue seeing a therapist.
Well thatís his problem. I didnít ask for a broken partner. I know at the very least I canít stay with an alcoholic partner. I am only enabling his behavior and showing him itís acceptable.
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:03 AM #15
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Thatís how process of dating is. You meet a person and hopefully within few dates or at least few months you see if itís long term potential or the person is not a suitable partner. If he isnít right partner, you move on. You did well. Didnít waste years or whole life on misery. Few months and he shows true colors and you are done. Smart.

I am glad you are seeing a therapist, you can work on how to not attract these unhealthy men and how to maybe spot red flags sooner.

No you arenít obligated to date anyone who doesnít fit your standards. And you arenít obligated to stay with everyone you meet. And donít worry about age and having to hurry up. Better wait than settle. Heck Hellen Miren got married at 52, first time. Ha if itís ok for her to wait longer to meet right people than itís ok for everyone else too lol
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:50 AM #16
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Default Re: Reflecting on my soon to be ex

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Thatís how process of dating is. You meet a person and hopefully within few dates or at least few months you see if itís long term potential or the person is not a suitable partner. If he isnít right partner, you move on. You did well. Didnít waste years or whole life on misery. Few months and he shows true colors and you are done. Smart.

I am glad you are seeing a therapist, you can work on how to not attract these unhealthy men and how to maybe spot red flags sooner.

No you arenít obligated to date anyone who doesnít fit your standards. And you arenít obligated to stay with everyone you meet. And donít worry about age and having to hurry up. Better wait than settle. Heck Hellen Miren got married at 52, first time. Ha if itís ok for her to wait longer to meet right people than itís ok for everyone else too lol
We broke up but it wasnít the way I wanted things to end, so would have been better to ghost...I tried to have a mature conversation and he lashed out so it went downhill..I know he drank too much last night, was running late for work etc, but I told him he has a drinking problem after we broke. At that point, I was like f it I have nothing to lose and I am done being nice and taking his abuse.
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Old 04-15-2019, 09:42 AM #17
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We broke up but it wasnít the way I wanted things to end, so would have been better to ghost...I tried to have a mature conversation and he lashed out so it went downhill..I know he drank too much last night, was running late for work etc, but I told him he has a drinking problem after we broke. At that point, I was like f it I have nothing to lose and I am done being nice and taking his abuse.
No need to talk to him anymore. His issues arenít your problem at all. Block him.
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Old 04-15-2019, 09:43 AM #18
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Yes thatís the next step.
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Old 04-15-2019, 11:08 AM #19
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Default Re: Reflecting on my soon to be ex

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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
No need to talk to him anymore. His issues arenít your problem at all. Block him.
^^^^ This is your next step, Gymgirl. Do not talk to him. Do not contact him. Be strong! You deserve better!
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Old 04-15-2019, 11:27 AM #20
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Iím trying my best..I just feel so bothered by his behavior..I want to tell him off but itís not like he will care or respond. If anything it gives him an ego boost to see me doing that
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