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Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#1
Been beating myself up but then I realize he was never good for me. I just realized we have nothing in common! Besides alcohol there is nothing. I need more from a relationship..at first, it was fun but now I feel like I’m enabling him and the only time he is Halle is when there’s a drink in his hand. He seemed to be into fitness and nutrition (he has all these supplements) so I THOUGHT we were on the same level. It’s not like he was going to say my hobbies Include hanging out with my buddies, listening to music and drinking until I pass out! He did start to do better for a short period and was not drinking a lot and working out and I saw a positive change in him. But it was short lived. I am going to find a man who is on the same level as me..after I am emotionally ready. One who has hobbies and is stable not only financially but emotionally. He text me this morning and he was having a drink 🥃 I was automatically turned off 🤢 no wonder he has problems with intimacy..I am not enabling him by accepting this sort of behavior. He wants to drink his life away go ahead. He won’t get far in life or get any quality woman to stick around. He’s 45 acting like he’s 21. He may be cool to hang out with but as a partner he sucks 👎👎👎👎👎
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Anonymous48672, MickeyCheeky, unaluna
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MickeyCheeky
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#2
Wisers words have never been spoke, Gymgirl71! I'm really happy that you're finally standing up for yourself and that you're starting to see him for who he truly is! You DESERVE MUCH BETTER than him and you WILL find someone else who is much better than him and who will truly accept you, love you and respect you for who you truly are! Just take GREAT care of yourself, ok? You DESERVE IT since you're getitng through all of this! Please NEVER give up HOPE! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly CAN! Sending many hugs to you, Gymgirl71!
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Have Hope
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Chyialee
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Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
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#3
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Anonymous48672
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#4
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I know a guy like your guy. He is an IT guy. He's my age. He has slept with a ton of women and he's a divorced dad of a college-aged daughter. He drinks as soon as he wakes up, and he drinks to put himself to sleep. He's drunk ALL THE TIME. He once sent me a flirty FB message at 3 a.m. with a bed-selfie of him lying in his bed DRUNK telling me he was attracted to me. GROSS. SO GROSS. I felt sorry for him. The next day, he texted me "Feel free to contact me anytime you want to hang out." Gee, NO THANKS LOSER. There are more losers than you realize. But once you put yourself first, read up on the signs of verbal abuse and recognize red flags in general from dysfunctional men, you will suddenly be able to stop another bad connection from happening between yourself and a guy who belongs in Betty Ford, not in your bedroom. It sucks being single. BUT, it's better to be lonely and heal and educate yourself and hang around with friends and enjoy your hobbies than invest and waste your emotional and physical energy on a guy who is bad news all around. |
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unaluna
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Location: USA
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#5
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Anonymous48672
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#6
He does sound like a loser. Glad you are breaking it off. You deserve better.
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#7
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Who cares if he's drunk or sober when he gets your text. If you would rather dump him face to face, do that but don't let him talk you out of it. Or, call him on the phone if you think that will make you feel better. Good luck! |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#8
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#9
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
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#10
If he reads your text drunk then he will reread it sober. It’s not your job to wait for him to sober up. I normally am not in support of ghosting but in this case it’s a valid option too
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unaluna
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Location: USA
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#11
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#12
Try to look at this individual you are leaving and a person who needs to heal and he feels broken and needs help. He hurts himself more than anyone else in this so wish him well and leave him to work on his healing, hopefully he will continue seeing a therapist.
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#13
Your therapist suggested that so I agreed it might be ok. Normally ghosting is wrong but not here.
It doesn’t sound like relationship is still going on. He told you he doesn’t feel the same and he distanced himself, it is a sign that he is bailing out. He is in your area but doesn’t see you. The only way you saw him is going to his house once a week and watch him being passed out drunk. It’s not like this guy comes gets you for dates and constantly calls you and already purchased tickets fir a show or a trip and have dates planned and is commited to you but you will ghost him. That would be wrong. But there is really not much going on between you two. You want to inform him that relationship is over but it’s already pretty much over. So it would be ok to just go on with your life |
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unaluna
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Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#14
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#15
That’s how process of dating is. You meet a person and hopefully within few dates or at least few months you see if it’s long term potential or the person is not a suitable partner. If he isn’t right partner, you move on. You did well. Didn’t waste years or whole life on misery. Few months and he shows true colors and you are done. Smart.
I am glad you are seeing a therapist, you can work on how to not attract these unhealthy men and how to maybe spot red flags sooner. No you aren’t obligated to date anyone who doesn’t fit your standards. And you aren’t obligated to stay with everyone you meet. And don’t worry about age and having to hurry up. Better wait than settle. Heck Hellen Miren got married at 52, first time. Ha if it’s ok for her to wait longer to meet right people than it’s ok for everyone else too lol |
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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#16
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Legendary Wise Elder
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Location: US
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#17
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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#18
Yes that’s the next step.
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Anonymous48672, divine1966
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divine1966
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#19
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Member
Member Since Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 264
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#20
I’m trying my best..I just feel so bothered by his behavior..I want to tell him off but it’s not like he will care or respond. If anything it gives him an ego boost to see me doing that
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Have Hope, unaluna
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