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Old 04-14-2019, 07:54 AM #1
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Chat Reflecting on my soon to be ex

Been beating myself up but then I realize he was never good for me. I just realized we have nothing in common! Besides alcohol there is nothing. I need more from a relationship..at first, it was fun but now I feel like Iím enabling him and the only time he is Halle is when thereís a drink in his hand. He seemed to be into fitness and nutrition (he has all these supplements) so I THOUGHT we were on the same level. Itís not like he was going to say my hobbies Include hanging out with my buddies, listening to music and drinking until I pass out! He did start to do better for a short period and was not drinking a lot and working out and I saw a positive change in him. But it was short lived. I am going to find a man who is on the same level as me..after I am emotionally ready. One who has hobbies and is stable not only financially but emotionally. He text me this morning and he was having a drink 🥃 I was automatically turned off 🤢 no wonder he has problems with intimacy..I am not enabling him by accepting this sort of behavior. He wants to drink his life away go ahead. He wonít get far in life or get any quality woman to stick around. Heís 45 acting like heís 21. He may be cool to hang out with but as a partner he sucks 👎👎👎👎👎
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Old 04-14-2019, 08:07 AM #2
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Wisers words have never been spoke, Gymgirl71! I'm really happy that you're finally standing up for yourself and that you're starting to see him for who he truly is! You DESERVE MUCH BETTER than him and you WILL find someone else who is much better than him and who will truly accept you, love you and respect you for who you truly are! Just take GREAT care of yourself, ok? You DESERVE IT since you're getitng through all of this! Please NEVER give up HOPE! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly CAN! Sending many hugs to you, Gymgirl71!
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Old 04-14-2019, 08:18 AM #3
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Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
Wisers words have never been spoke, Gymgirl71! I'm really happy that you're finally standing up for yourself and that you're starting to see him for who he truly is! You DESERVE MUCH BETTER than him and you WILL find someone else who is much better than him and who will truly accept you, love you and respect you for who you truly are! Just take GREAT care of yourself, ok? You DESERVE IT since you're getitng through all of this! Please NEVER give up HOPE! Try to HANG ON as much as you possibly CAN! Sending many hugs to you, Gymgirl71!
It took me a while to see the kind of person he really is . I canít be around that. Itís no wonder he got defensive when I suggest we get out of the house instead of sitting around getting blasted
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Old 04-14-2019, 01:18 PM #4
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It took me a while to see the kind of person he really is . I canít be around that. Itís no wonder he got defensive when I suggest we get out of the house instead of sitting around getting blasted
Glad you finally see the light! He's a train-wreck and no woman is responsible for rehabbing ANY man; so it's not your job to enable him or encourage him or emotionally support him. He could care less what you think. Truly. He's selfish and self-obsessed and he probably uses emotionally vulnerable women intentionally to fuel his insecure ego.

I know a guy like your guy. He is an IT guy. He's my age. He has slept with a ton of women and he's a divorced dad of a college-aged daughter. He drinks as soon as he wakes up, and he drinks to put himself to sleep. He's drunk ALL THE TIME. He once sent me a flirty FB message at 3 a.m. with a bed-selfie of him lying in his bed DRUNK telling me he was attracted to me. GROSS. SO GROSS. I felt sorry for him. The next day, he texted me "Feel free to contact me anytime you want to hang out." Gee, NO THANKS LOSER.

There are more losers than you realize. But once you put yourself first, read up on the signs of verbal abuse and recognize red flags in general from dysfunctional men, you will suddenly be able to stop another bad connection from happening between yourself and a guy who belongs in Betty Ford, not in your bedroom.

It sucks being single. BUT, it's better to be lonely and heal and educate yourself and hang around with friends and enjoy your hobbies than invest and waste your emotional and physical energy on a guy who is bad news all around.
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Old 04-14-2019, 03:16 PM #5
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Glad you finally see the light! He's a train-wreck and no woman is responsible for rehabbing ANY man; so it's not your job to enable him or encourage him or emotionally support him. He could care less what you think. Truly. He's selfish and self-obsessed and he probably uses emotionally vulnerable women intentionally to fuel his insecure ego.

I know a guy like your guy. He is an IT guy. He's my age. He has slept with a ton of women and he's a divorced dad of a college-aged daughter. He drinks as soon as he wakes up, and he drinks to put himself to sleep. He's drunk ALL THE TIME. He once sent me a flirty FB message at 3 a.m. with a bed-selfie of him lying in his bed DRUNK telling me he was attracted to me. GROSS. SO GROSS. I felt sorry for him. The next day, he texted me "Feel free to contact me anytime you want to hang out." Gee, NO THANKS LOSER.

There are more losers than you realize. But once you put yourself first, read up on the signs of verbal abuse and recognize red flags in general from dysfunctional men, you will suddenly be able to stop another bad connection from happening between yourself and a guy who belongs in Betty Ford, not in your bedroom.

It sucks being single. BUT, it's better to be lonely and heal and educate yourself and hang around with friends and enjoy your hobbies than invest and waste your emotional and physical energy on a guy who is bad news all around.
I prepared a text to send him tomorrow to break it off. I tried to call him but of course he has friends over so it was a bad time..itís always a bad time. But I want him to be sober when he gets my text..
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Old 04-14-2019, 03:18 PM #6
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He does sound like a loser. Glad you are breaking it off. You deserve better.
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Old 04-14-2019, 04:05 PM #7
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I prepared a text to send him tomorrow to break it off. I tried to call him but of course he has friends over so it was a bad time..itís always a bad time. But I want him to be sober when he gets my text..
So you're putting off sending him your break-up text to accommodate his social life with his drinking buddies? Gymgirl don't enable him anymore.

Who cares if he's drunk or sober when he gets your text. If you would rather dump him face to face, do that but don't let him talk you out of it. Or, call him on the phone if you think that will make you feel better.

Good luck!
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Old 04-14-2019, 06:07 PM #8
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So you're putting off sending him your break-up text to accommodate his social life with his drinking buddies? Gymgirl don't enable him anymore.

Who cares if he's drunk or sober when he gets your text. If you would rather dump him face to face, do that but don't let him talk you out of it. Or, call him on the phone if you think that will make you feel better.

Good luck!
Itís not that..itís that he blacks out and I want him to be coherent. My therapist said to just ghost him but I think I should just be direct and tell him itís over..
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Old 04-14-2019, 06:26 PM #9
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Itís not that..itís that he blacks out and I want him to be coherent. My therapist said to just ghost him but I think I should just be direct and tell him itís over..
Do whatever you need to do so that you can get closure from this. Good luck!
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Old 04-14-2019, 06:33 PM #10
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If he reads your text drunk then he will reread it sober. Itís not your job to wait for him to sober up. I normally am not in support of ghosting but in this case itís a valid option too
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