 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
 |
|
advertisement
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
|
Forums Index
|
| Reply |
| Thread Tools | Display Modes |
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,358
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given 
|
Apr 17, 2019 at 03:05 PM
#21
OP made same thread last year saying he isn’t sure he wants to marry her and I personally advised not to marry if he isn’t sure. Fast forward a year and same thread, not sure about marriage to her. For couple of years OP posted number of threads about relationship issues with this particular person. I don’t believe it’s wise to marry then.
Couple of posters said he should marry her because he loves her and wants her to be happy. Those of us who are married know that’s not enough. Most divorces happen because people marry wrong people. Not because of lack of love. If love was enough, there would be no divorce |
|
 Reply With Quote
|
 s4ndm4n2006
|
|
Member
Member Since Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 363
7 |
Apr 17, 2019 at 05:52 PM
#22
Quote:
I would like to point out that this thread isn’t me contemplating whether I want to marry her. What it is actually about is that I’m marrying her for more her sake than mine and when we talk about marriage I’m just not as excited as she is. In my own core beliefs I feel that her moving in was a much bigger step than us getting married. A lot can happen in a year, shoot a lot can happen in a month. Since then I’ve sought help, worked out my issues, and discovered how much I actually love her. Which is very much. So much that I want to spend my life with her and have kids. |
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
 Anonymous44076, Bill3
|
|
Bill3
|
|
Magnate
Member Since Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 2,025
5 1,520 hugs
given
|
Apr 17, 2019 at 10:27 PM
#23
Op -- don't.
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
divine1966
|
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,358
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given
|
Apr 18, 2019 at 04:12 AM
#24
I have no doubt that you love her.
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,077
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,625 hugs
given
|
Apr 18, 2019 at 05:52 AM
#25
Quote:
What were you hoping to get out of this thread? Did you just want to vent? I did read your past posts, and one was very recent which made me think you should not get married. But you seem pretty set on the plan. I am just curious what you had hoped to get out of this by posting about it? __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 22,358
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,277 hugs
given
|
Apr 18, 2019 at 06:08 AM
#26
Do you two have means to support yourself? Do you two have a job? If not, how are you paying bills? Are you two on disability? I wonder if being married would make disability payments less? Where are you two going to live? Can you afford rent? Are you in subsidized housing? Would you qualify for it? I am not saying you have to answer these questions here, but all these things should be looked at and discussed with your fiancée before tying a knot. I hope it is all discussed and is under control
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,006
(SuperPoster!)
5 192 hugs
given
|
Apr 18, 2019 at 06:23 AM
#27
I may be in the minority with this but I just dont feel anyone should get married only because their partner wants to. I am not saying you have to marry at all-if you both agree you love each other and do not need to thats fine. But it just doesnt feel right to get married if only one person wants to. Lets say it goes south, you could end up resenting the fact that you got married. If you are on disability- would a spouses' income count against you? It just feels dishonest. I am not saying you are dishonest OP it just doesnt seem right to me. Does she know you are only marrying her because she wants it? I think its only fair that she realize you are doing that for her and not because you want to.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
|
Iloivar
|
|
Member
Member Since Jan 2019
Location: CA
Posts: 273
5 838 hugs
given |
Apr 19, 2019 at 10:59 AM
#28
I married because it was the socially acceptable thing to do and I didn't think twice about it. My parents were married until death did them part. I was ready to stay married no matter what. Unfortunately my husband did not have the same belief. His parents were in a second marriage. My husband chose the divorce. I know many couples who agree to stay married. I wanted that too. Not romantic love but love changes over time in marriage. That's been my experience. Choose carefully.
|
|
|
Reply With Quote
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
