Not exactly thrilled to be getting married - Page 3 - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-17-2019, 03:05 PM #21
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,384
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,384 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
446 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

OP made same thread last year saying he isnít sure he wants to marry her and I personally advised not to marry if he isnít sure. Fast forward a year and same thread, not sure about marriage to her. For couple of years OP posted number of threads about relationship issues with this particular person. I donít believe itís wise to marry then.

Couple of posters said he should marry her because he loves her and wants her to be happy. Those of us who are married know thatís not enough. Most divorces happen because people marry wrong people. Not because of lack of love. If love was enough, there would be no divorce
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 04-17-2019, 05:52 PM #22
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 284
Stuck1nhead Stuck1nhead is offline
Member
Stuck1nhead's Avatar
Stuck1nhead has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2016
Location: Virginia
Posts: 284

2 yr Member
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
OP made same thread last year saying he isnít sure he wants to marry her and I personally advised not to marry if he isnít sure. Fast forward a year and same thread, not sure about marriage to her. For couple of years OP posted number of threads about relationship issues with this particular person. I donít believe itís wise to marry then.



Couple of posters said he should marry her because he loves her and wants her to be happy. Those of us who are married know thatís not enough. Most divorces happen because people marry wrong people. Not because of lack of love. If love was enough, there would be no divorce


I would like to point out that this thread isnít me contemplating whether I want to marry her. What it is actually about is that Iím marrying her for more her sake than mine and when we talk about marriage Iím just not as excited as she is. In my own core beliefs I feel that her moving in was a much bigger step than us getting married.

A lot can happen in a year, shoot a lot can happen in a month. Since then Iíve sought help, worked out my issues, and discovered how much I actually love her. Which is very much. So much that I want to spend my life with her and have kids.
Stuck1nhead is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-17-2019, 10:27 PM #23
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey Mopey is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 1,136
Mopey Mopey is offline
Poohbah
Mopey's Avatar
Mopey remove
 
Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: California
Posts: 1,136 (SuperPoster!)

844 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Op -- don't.
Mopey is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-18-2019, 04:12 AM #24
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,384
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,384 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
446 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

I have no doubt that you love her.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-18-2019, 05:52 AM #25
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 228
Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Member
Have Hope's Avatar
Have Hope has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 228

1 yr Member
167 hugs
given
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuck1nhead View Post
I would like to point out that this thread isnít me contemplating whether I want to marry her. What it is actually about is that Iím marrying her for more her sake than mine and when we talk about marriage Iím just not as excited as she is. In my own core beliefs I feel that her moving in was a much bigger step than us getting married.

A lot can happen in a year, shoot a lot can happen in a month. Since then Iíve sought help, worked out my issues, and discovered how much I actually love her. Which is very much. So much that I want to spend my life with her and have kids.

What were you hoping to get out of this thread? Did you just want to vent?

I did read your past posts, and one was very recent which made me think you should not get married. But you seem pretty set on the plan. I am just curious what you had hoped to get out of this by posting about it?
__________________
Promise Yourself
To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet. To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
Have Hope is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-18-2019, 06:08 AM #26
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,384
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,384 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
446 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Do you two have means to support yourself? Do you two have a job? If not, how are you paying bills? Are you two on disability? I wonder if being married would make disability payments less? Where are you two going to live? Can you afford rent? Are you in subsidized housing? Would you qualify for it? I am not saying you have to answer these questions here, but all these things should be looked at and discussed with your fiancťe before tying a knot. I hope it is all discussed and is under control
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 04-18-2019, 06:23 AM #27
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,957
sarahsweets sarahsweets is online now
Grand Poohbah
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,957 (SuperPoster!)

107 hugs
given
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

I may be in the minority with this but I just dont feel anyone should get married only because their partner wants to. I am not saying you have to marry at all-if you both agree you love each other and do not need to thats fine. But it just doesnt feel right to get married if only one person wants to. Lets say it goes south, you could end up resenting the fact that you got married. If you are on disability- would a spouses' income count against you? It just feels dishonest. I am not saying you are dishonest OP it just doesnt seem right to me. Does she know you are only marrying her because she wants it? I think its only fair that she realize you are doing that for her and not because you want to.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-19-2019, 10:59 AM #28
Goforward Goforward is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 142
Goforward Goforward is offline
Member
Goforward has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 142

265 hugs
given
Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

I married because it was the socially acceptable thing to do and I didn't think twice about it. My parents were married until death did them part. I was ready to stay married no matter what. Unfortunately my husband did not have the same belief. His parents were in a second marriage. My husband chose the divorce. I know many couples who agree to stay married. I wanted that too. Not romantic love but love changes over time in marriage. That's been my experience. Choose carefully.
Goforward is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:22 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.