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Old 04-14-2019, 10:58 AM #1
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Default Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

So in two weeks Iíll be getting married. My fiancťe is absolutely thrilled. I on the other hand am glad that sheís happy. However I think marriage is unneeded in a relationship for it to be healthy. Honestly Iím only marrying her because itís what she wants. Iím not saying that I donít want to spend my life with her, because I most certainly do. Itís just that I donít see the point in marriage. Iím not religious so thereís that. I also donít believe marriage creates a sense of security. Especially since divorces are socially acceptable now. The only benefit I see in a marriage is that someone I love and trust will have a say in my treatment if something happens to me. Other than that I think marriage is pretty pointless. Especially since Iíve already proven my loyalty to my gal.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:17 AM #2
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

It's just a form of agreeing to commit and it comes with legal commitments as well. However, you are right in that our current society doesn't see this as truely binding and that it's ok to break free from this commitment and get divorced. It's just something that is important to her and as you mentioned, you really do love her and want her to be happy.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:43 AM #3
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

I think the healthcare decisions and property ownership make it worth it even if you do not agree with the principle of marriage itself.
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Old 04-14-2019, 11:48 AM #4
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Is your fiancee aware that you're only marrying her because she wants to get married? This seems a bit strange to me to only marry because she wants to, when you don't believe in it or support it's merit. Both people ideally should be happy to be getting married, and support the whole notion of marriage and what it means. I don't know. It just seems very one-sided. That doesn't seem right or fair to you necessarily.
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Old 04-14-2019, 02:01 PM #5
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

What I took from the OP was that he doesn't need a grand ceremony to solidify their love and vows. But is doing it because it's a meaningful event for their fiance.

I didn't see disinterest, just someone ranting about the pointlessness of marriage, and he didn't say anything about marriage going against his loyalty. There wasn't anything indicating that he doesn't love his wife.

As to @Stuck1nhead Perhaps this is something you should talk to your wife about. So maybe you two can at least come up with something BOTH of you enjoy to celebrate a long lasting life together. Heck, maybe a marriage could be arranged to both of your likings.

Last edited by FooZe; 04-16-2019 at 01:54 AM. Reason: administrative edit to bring within guidelines
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Old 04-14-2019, 04:07 PM #6
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iloivar View Post
What I took from the OP was that he doesn't need a grand ceremony to solidify their love and vows. But is doing it because it's a meaningful event for their fiance.
Me too. Honestly I feel like the ceremony has become a massive thing for women. And too many women that i know get married for one reason, they want the ceremony. Period.

IF tomorrow wedding ceremonies were made illegal I think marriage would end. It is the ceremony and all that goes with it that women want.
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Old 04-14-2019, 04:10 PM #7
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

From what you said, you love your fiancťe, want to spend your life with her, want to see her happy, and see some benefits to marriage. That makes it sound like a win-win. It doesnít sound pointless, it sounds like it has benefits (if small). What actual downside, or potential downside, do you see or feel?
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:02 PM #8
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

I say why bother. Unless you'll forevermore 'hold your peace'?
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Old 04-14-2019, 05:03 PM #9
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Default Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Marriage is not something I necessarily believe in. I have never seen myself as the marriage type. All I was getting at is that her moving in was a bigger step for me than marriage. If continuing to be with the love of my life means I have to marry her than so be it. Iím not disgusted by marriage and there are benefits.

Last edited by FooZe; 04-16-2019 at 01:56 AM. Reason: administrative edit to bring within guidelines
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Old 04-14-2019, 06:18 PM #10
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Default Re: Not exactly thrilled to be getting married

Um.....I got married on the rebound, and I was not thrilled to marry, but at the time I simply didn't have anything better to do. I have been married for nearly 29 years, to someone I don't really love. He doesn't really care mush about me, either. I am not telling you what to do, but , in hindsight, I would have been better off alone.
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