Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal?? - Page 2 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 04-15-2019, 05:35 AM #11
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

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Originally Posted by Bill3 View Post
What is bringing this possibility to your attention at this moment?

Well, I have not thought of her in years. Almost 20, to be exact. But, something made me think of her daughter, and I decided to look for said daughter on FB. I figured the daughter would have a site, but mother could have gone either way. Well, she had one and I saw her picture. That is what made me think of it. In retrospect, she WAS sort of a talker about people, but because I'm not, and naturally ignore other people and their lives, I would/could not go into the subject with her. I did not know anything about anyone, and even if I did I keep my mouth shut about most things that don't concern me. Anyway, I got to thinking about the good times we had is all.....
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Old 04-15-2019, 06:15 AM #12
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

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Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
So...she went behind your back to sympathize with your husband and complain about YOU to him?! Yeah, that's uncalled for and very much a betrayal on her part. Wow. Why do you want to be friends again with this woman now? I wouldn't trust her. No way. She sounds like she is a pot-stirrer. Like, she intentionally creates trouble for people because it entertains her. Or, she has zero boundaries and zero common sense and thinks she's being helpful when in reality she's like Godzilla destroying the city.
Hi. I agree with StreetcarBlanche on this one.

I fully understand becoming nostalgic over the good times and perhaps wanting a friendship again, but honestly? I wouldn't go back. Friendships end for a good reason, just like a romantic relationship does.

She betrayed you. I wouldn't trust her again. How could you trust her again? Wouldn't you always be on your toes with her?

Once trust is broken in my mind, it can rarely be repaired. I would let this go. It's been 20 years. Why resurface it now? If you're lonely, find ways to make new friendships. There's always a way. She's toxic.
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Old 04-15-2019, 07:22 AM #13
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

It's better to let sleeping dogs sleep.

I am not sure about 'friends' that feel at liberty to confide in friend's husbands about things said in confidence? She definitely admitted to siding with your husband? Or was that his spin on it? A friend may be at liberty to give a husband a piece of her mind, though....
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Old 04-15-2019, 04:10 PM #14
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

I'm afraid I must agree with all the others, Medusax I understand you feeling nostalgic about the good times you've spent together, but I'm not sure if you should try to start a new friendship with her if you don't have indication that she's TRULY changed! If you're feeling lonely or if you want to make more friends, I'd suggest to just look for new ones if you can! I understand it's no easy, but I DO believe it may be the best option for you! Let us know what you decide to do! Either way, we'll respect your decision! Please don't worry about that! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Medusax!
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Old 04-15-2019, 08:03 PM #15
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

I think itís best to trust that there was a reason we ended a relationship in the first place and no reason to go back.
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Old 04-15-2019, 09:34 PM #16
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

She was a back stabbing rat. If she had changed her ways and felt bad about how she treated you, she would have contacted you already. You donít let a rat back in ever.
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Old 04-16-2019, 09:14 AM #17
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

if it's something that affected you strongly enough not to be in touch with her for over 20 yrs, I'm not sure as to why there is any motivation to even rekindle the friendship, but that aside, I think at best, and if at all, I'd approach this very cautiously.
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Old 04-19-2019, 04:45 PM #18
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

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Originally Posted by healingme4me View Post
It's better to let sleeping dogs sleep.

I am not sure about 'friends' that feel at liberty to confide in friend's husbands about things said in confidence? She definitely admitted to siding with your husband? Or was that his spin on it? A friend may be at liberty to give a husband a piece of her mind, though....
No, I OVERHEARD her...we were at a party at her house and I was outside the kitchen when she said it. I left the party and never spoke to her again until Sept 11 2001. And have not spoken to her since.
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Old 04-19-2019, 04:49 PM #19
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

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Originally Posted by Medusax View Post
No, I OVERHEARD her...we were at a party at her house and I was outside the kitchen when she said it. I left the party and never spoke to her again until Sept 11 2001. And have not spoken to her since.
In that case, no need to try again. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
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Old 04-19-2019, 04:55 PM #20
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Default Re: Rekindle an old friendship that ended because of betrayal??

Ok , I want to thank everyone for their responses. You all seem to agree with ME. The reason I asked everyone is that people are always telling me that I am all sharp edges and caustic, without the ability to forgive. Interesting that the people who say these things to me are usually ones that have done me wrong. The truth is...I CAN forgive, if it an honest mistake or if someone else has their hand at a persons back for the moment of the wrongdoing, or something similar. But I am sorry, THIS is not something I can easily forgive.
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