Ok to dislike Hookups? - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-15-2019, 04:36 PM #1
DazedandConfused254's Avatar
DazedandConfused254 DazedandConfused254 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Coahulia y Tejas
Posts: 254
DazedandConfused254 DazedandConfused254 is offline
Member
DazedandConfused254's Avatar
DazedandConfused254 Done with school forever!!!!
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Coahulia y Tejas
Posts: 254

1 yr Member
231 hugs
given
Default Ok to dislike Hookups?

I feel like an outsider in my generation for not enjoying casual relationships/sex. At 24 years old, I知 still a virgin and have never been romantically involved with anybody, but where in the college town where I live, the ones who seem to tote their dates and frequently make out seem to get the most attention. Let痴 get one thing straight: it痴 not that I知 a strict killjoy about romance and sex, because I think both are wonderful things, so I won稚 criticize people who enjoy casual relationships. However, I知 cautious by nature, so I知 not the type to be completely bold about making love to someone whom I barely know. This is just merely a personal preference. I知 also in the process of concentrating only on true friendships, instead of keeping a humongous network of friends and acquaintances in light of hurting myself in striving to please others or fit in with a crowd who barely appreciates/values me. But I知 discouraged when I have talked to my friends in the past about my insecurities arising from several rejections. They acknowledge that many (but not all) people in my generation are largely involved in the 塗ookup culture, while others have told me to 斗ighten up. Well what if I don稚 want to be a part of the hookup culture? What if I prefer lasting friendships/romances that aren稚 merely just fleeting?

Is it ok not to enjoy casual sex? Or am I just a weird misfit?
__________________
Self dx'd: Anxiety and problematic self-esteem

Current treatments: Lexapro (10 mg/daily), weekly professional counseling, setting boundaries, and striving to love me for me

"If you can dream it you can do it!" ~ Walt Disney
DazedandConfused254 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote

advertisement
Old 04-15-2019, 08:25 PM #2
baobaozi baobaozi is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Posts: 29
baobaozi baobaozi is offline
Member
baobaozi has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Posts: 29

Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

I don稚 see anything weird with that. I知 20, and just lose my virginity by hookup last year (It was kinda against my will too). I致e done a couple of sex and let me tell you that I NEVER ENJOYED THEM AT ALL. I am so confused with people who enjoy it, it just so gross and repulsing to me. But I need to do it cause I got sugar daddy, so aside from that I try to not do it in any way.

You don稚 need to blend in with them, just do anything you are comfortable doing. I知 pretty sure there will be someone you値l be interested enough to do it naturally
baobaozi is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-15-2019, 08:37 PM #3
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,392
divine1966 divine1966 is offline
Legendary
divine1966's Avatar
divine1966 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: US
Posts: 13,392 (SuperPoster!)

3 yr Member
447 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

No you aren稚 a misfit and not belonging to a hook up culture actually makes you a nice higher quality classy guy, not a misfit. I have two nephews in their 20s and they are as far from
塗ookup culture as one can be. When time comes you値l meet right people but for now focus on friendships and your education and career.
divine1966 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-16-2019, 04:11 AM #4
Ptak's Avatar
Ptak Ptak is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Home
Posts: 287
Ptak Ptak is offline
Member
Ptak's Avatar
Ptak has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2019
Location: Home
Posts: 287 (SuperPoster!)

341 hugs
given
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

It is very ok to not be into casual sex. It's honestly a turn on for many women.
Ptak is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-16-2019, 04:30 AM #5
bunnyhabit's Avatar
bunnyhabit bunnyhabit is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Tainan, Taiwan
Posts: 218
bunnyhabit bunnyhabit is offline
Member
bunnyhabit's Avatar
bunnyhabit smoky
 
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Tainan, Taiwan
Posts: 218

1 yr Member
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

There is nothing wrong with your attitude. Some people enjoy casual sex vs. monogamous relationships. fear of being with many partners is common. Personally I enjoy casual sex but have a number of friends that do not. It is a personal choice so neither attitude is right or wrong in my opinion.
__________________


shasha


Dissociative identities
Attention deficit hyperactivity
Narcissistic personality disorder

meds-
Latuda 40mg
Lexapro 20mg
Trileptal 600mg
Risperdal 2mg
Trazodone 200mg
Hydroxyzine 50mg
Seroquel 50mg
Ritalin 50mg
Provigil 100mg
bunnyhabit is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-16-2019, 07:20 AM #6
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,970
sarahsweets sarahsweets is offline
Grand Poohbah
sarahsweets's Avatar
sarahsweets Humor is my end game..
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,970 (SuperPoster!)

107 hugs
given
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

There is nothing wrong with you. Are you someone who needs an emotional attachment to be comfortable in proceeding with a physical relationship? That is how I am.
__________________
"I carried a watermelon?"

President of the no F's given society.
sarahsweets is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-16-2019, 09:02 AM #7
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
Chat Moderator
Chat Leader
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 1,987
s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
Chat Moderator
Chat Leader
s4ndm4n2006's Avatar
s4ndm4n2006 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: limbo
Posts: 1,987

3 yr Member
178 hugs
given
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

It may seem like you're in the minority at times but think of it this way, people that are not into casual sex are also not talking about it to everyone. There are plenty of people, both male and female that are not having the hookups and casual sex. You just don't hear about it.
s4ndm4n2006 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-29-2019, 02:10 PM #8
DazedandConfused254's Avatar
DazedandConfused254 DazedandConfused254 is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Coahulia y Tejas
Posts: 254
DazedandConfused254 DazedandConfused254 is offline
Member
DazedandConfused254's Avatar
DazedandConfused254 Done with school forever!!!!
 
Member Since: Jul 2017
Location: Coahulia y Tejas
Posts: 254

1 yr Member
231 hugs
given
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

Thank you all so much for your replies! This thread is a real encouragement and asset for me not to feel bad in my current environment which sometimes is notorious for conformity to various ideals and attitudes. Big shout out to @divine1966 and @Ptak for making me feel special and desirable with your posts and for @sarahsweets for reading me like a book. Real love in my worldview definitely includes an emotional component, consisting of giving love and the ability to receive it.
__________________
Self dx'd: Anxiety and problematic self-esteem

Current treatments: Lexapro (10 mg/daily), weekly professional counseling, setting boundaries, and striving to love me for me

"If you can dream it you can do it!" ~ Walt Disney
DazedandConfused254 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-29-2019, 05:06 PM #9
StreetcarBlanche's Avatar
StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 399
StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
Member
StreetcarBlanche's Avatar
StreetcarBlanche I don't want realism. I want magic.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 399

1 yr Member
107 hugs
given
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

Nothing wrong with you at all, DazedandConfused254. I never liked casual sex when I was in my early 20s (I tried to hookup three times with three different guys, and felt lousy afterward). I'm no virgin mary but the experience went against my moral standards something major.

Everyone has a preference when it comes to casual sex. I know a lot of women and men who have casual encounters while in between relationships, with other people, until they find someone to be in a relationship with. That's not something I can do because it goes against my ideals.

Just stick to your ideals and don't let anyone pressure you into changing your ideals to make them happy. Make yourself happy first.
__________________
Be strong enough to let go, and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
StreetcarBlanche is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 04-29-2019, 05:08 PM #10
StreetcarBlanche's Avatar
StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 399
StreetcarBlanche StreetcarBlanche is offline
Member
StreetcarBlanche's Avatar
StreetcarBlanche I don't want realism. I want magic.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: U.S.
Posts: 399

1 yr Member
107 hugs
given
Default Re: Ok to dislike Hookups?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
There is nothing wrong with you. Are you someone who needs an emotional attachment to be comfortable in proceeding with a physical relationship? That is how I am.
I'm that way. I need emotional attachment before I'll have sex with a guy. Some guys fake emotional attachment (which stinks). So, hopefully, I will find a guy who doesn't fake emotional attachment, someday in the future. Or not. Who knows.
__________________
Be strong enough to let go, and wise enough to wait for what you deserve.
StreetcarBlanche is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:38 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.