Am I "mollycoddling"/pestering?

divine1966 · Apr 20, 2019 at 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche

Good girl! Now comes the hard part - staying out of contact with him. Find activities and friends to distract yourself with for the next few weeks b/c these will be the times when you reminisce about the fun you had with him, which will spur you on to reach out to him - which is NOT a good idea. It's like quitting a bad habit - like smoking or drinking - you sometimes need to stop cold turkey and be easy on yourself afterward and find ways to distract yourself when you have a craving for that bad thing.

I am pretty sure OP is a guy.

Have Hope · Apr 20, 2019 at 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eclairparty98

I've broken up with him, I feel terrible with guilt because he's done the same as last time - he wants us to try and work things out and get through this instead of "throwing everything away" which I know won't work. I'm not going through that again, we're not married so why should we stress ourselves trying to make it work so early in the relationship ?! It's not like we're talking about sworn sacred vows or anything. I am truly sorry it didn't work out though, I must say.

Thank you as always for your kind, supportive, motivational words to me

I forgot to mention how much I love the footer beneath your posts, so encouraging and uplifting.

Aw thanks! And you’re most welcome! Good for you!!!! You’re right. It should not be this hard. And no vows were exchanged. No “ til death do us part”. You’re free!!! Stick to your guns. Congrats!!!

Apr 20, 2019 at 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

I am pretty sure OP is a guy.

No, she's a girl.

divine1966 · Apr 20, 2019 at 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche

No, she's a girl.

If eclair identifies as female, I will apologize as I wasn’t aware. But he always identified as gay male. It changes nothing in regards to this unfortunate dating situation of course. If his gender identification changed I wasn’t aware.

divine1966 · Apr 20, 2019 at 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eclairparty98

Thank you for sharing your opinion, I agree with you - it didn't work out that way but I got there in the end

Good job! Of course he was going to try to make you stay, good job not falling for it. You deserve much better

Apr 20, 2019 at 04:40 PM

Oh, I didn't realize the OP was a male. I thought eclair was a female.

eclairparty98 · Apr 20, 2019 at 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche

Oh, I didn't realize the OP was a male. I thought eclair was a female.

Haha, I'm trusting that doesn't change anything

eclairparty98 · Apr 20, 2019 at 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by divine1966

If eclair identifies as female, I will apologize as I wasn’t aware. But he always identified as gay male. It changes nothing in regards to this unfortunate dating situation of course. If his gender identification changed I wasn’t aware.

Nooooope hahaha big male over here at the eclair party.

thank you for your replies and to clear the air, I do indeed identify as a male, I have always been male, I was born male and shall always voluntarily be a male

eclairparty98 · Apr 20, 2019 at 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche

Good girl! Now comes the hard part - staying out of contact with him. Find activities and friends to distract yourself with for the next few weeks b/c these will be the times when you reminisce about the fun you had with him, which will spur you on to reach out to him - which is NOT a good idea. It's like quitting a bad habit - like smoking or drinking - you sometimes need to stop cold turkey and be easy on yourself afterward and find ways to distract yourself when you have a craving for that bad thing.

Thank you, StreetcarBlanche. I'm already working on distractions. I feel awful like I want to make sure he's okay because he wanted to give our relationship another chance but I've given us far too many... I'm sad. But I'm sure that's natural at the end of most relationships. I'll be ok.

thank you for the support as always.

eclairparty98 · Apr 20, 2019 at 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Aw thanks! And you’re most welcome! Good for you!!!! You’re right. It should not be this hard. And no vows were exchanged. No “ til death do us part”. You’re free!!! Stick to your guns. Congrats!!!

Freeeee!!!!! Finally!!!! I could cry a combination of sad tears but also grateful tears of relief - I got out and I'm okay!

I am really mourning the relationship and perhaps what could have been but I'm aiming to hang in there!!

thank you again for everything, it means a lot to me.

I hope everything is okay with you and everyone else who's commented. Thank you ALL.

Happy Easter !

eskielover · Apr 20, 2019 at 09:42 PM

Ok.....my perspective from personal experience.....

When I only have 2 hours sleep I am not functional nor is my mind & all sorts of things come out of my mouth wrong.....

I guess also if I had found out he had such a lack of sleep I wouldn't suggest to him that he needs to go to sleep. I would just personally take the initiative to say I needed to go for some reason & leave him to let him rest & get sleep without my telling him to. He already KNOWS he needs sleep he doesn't need you to tell him that. He needs you to leave (even if he says he doesn't) so he can get some sleep

Apr 21, 2019 at 11:05 AM

DOH!!!

Why did I think you were female? I'm sorry, eclair! haha!

No, it doesn't change anything regarding my affection for you here and my advice to you.

Now, please don't contact this jerk again. You deserve better from a man.

Have Hope · Apr 21, 2019 at 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eclairparty98

Freeeee!!!!! Finally!!!! I could cry a combination of sad tears but also grateful tears of relief - I got out and I'm okay!

I am really mourning the relationship and perhaps what could have been but I'm aiming to hang in there!!

thank you again for everything, it means a lot to me.

I hope everything is okay with you and everyone else who's commented. Thank you ALL.

Happy Easter !

Happy Easter to you!! Yes you will be better than ok! You’re gonna be just fine! Mourning the loss of what could have been is only natural. Then you’ll see all that was missing and not up to par and you’ll feel better in knowing you’re not settling for less than what you deserve. Then you’ll raise the bar and perhaps have higher standards. And then you’ll find someone when you’re ready who is a far better match! Love can be found again as I’ve said before.. but with someone better. Hugs!!! Oh and yes I’m doing just fine today, thank you! It’s Easter, a good day.

divine1966 · Apr 21, 2019 at 02:56 PM

So glad you are free. Hugs.

eskielover · Apr 21, 2019 at 05:00 PM

Glad you decided to end it.

Quote:

I am really mourning the relationship and perhaps what could have been

I' m not sure that relationship ever COULD have been what you wanted.....maybe the term "wished" might be more accurate?

eclairparty98 · Apr 22, 2019 at 04:14 PM

Thank you, Eskie and Divine for your supportive encouraging replies

Thank you Have Hope and StreetcarBlanche for being there from the begining and for your kind words

StreetcarBlanche, regarding me being female or male, it's alright, no worries at all hahaha, I'm thankful for your support

Thank you all, you wonderful people who have supported me through this

big, warm, friendly hugs to each of you, my gratitude is enormous

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter, enjoy the week ahead

take good care!!

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Anonymous48672 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 20, 2019 at 04:40 PM #26 Oh, I didn't realize the OP was a male. I thought eclair was a female.
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Anonymous48672 Guest Posts: n/a	Apr 21, 2019 at 11:05 AM #32 DOH!!! Why did I think you were female? I'm sorry, eclair! haha! No, it doesn't change anything regarding my affection for you here and my advice to you. Now, please don't contact this jerk again. You deserve better from a man.
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divine1966 Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Dec 2014 Location: US Posts: 22,369 (SuperPoster!) 9 1,277 hugs given	Apr 21, 2019 at 02:56 PM #34 So glad you are free. Hugs.
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