I made a huge mistake

Gymgirl71 · Apr 20, 2019 at 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Have Hope

I learned when I kept getting into unhealthy relationships that I wasn’t healthy myself at different stages of life. My advice is to get healthy and strong on your own first and through therapy before you consider dating again.

It’s going to be a while trust me

Open Eyes · Apr 20, 2019 at 07:38 PM

Well, we work on ourselves our entire lives. You are not alone with this challenge either.

eskielover · Apr 20, 2019 at 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gymgirl71

I know my gut was right all along about him, but I tend to blame myself too much and think it’s all my fault instead of seeing it for what it really is. As a result, I don’t really get the respect I deserve ever.

When we don't respect ourselves enough to stay out of bad situations no one else will respect us either. Self respect has to come
before others will respect us.

divine1966 · Apr 20, 2019 at 09:48 PM

He isn’t the kind of man to give you respect. You don’t go to bakery to buy veggies right? And you don’t get mad at Baker for not selling veggies right? Because you know they are not selling them.

But you repeatedly go to a drunk and abusive man’s house, who isn’t interested in actually properly dating you, and you are expecting to be treated with love and respect and him to have a nice relationship with you. If you want to be treated with respect, you go for a respectful man.

The issue isn’t that this man wasn’t giving you respect, the issue is that these men aren’t the type to give anyone any kind of respect. You have to go for higher quality men if you want nicer treatment. You can’t control how these men treat you but you can control who you date.

I still feel that you aren’t understanding true issue yet so hopefully therapist cd. help you

hvert · Apr 22, 2019 at 07:08 AM

It's a relapse. It happens. The important thing is that you realized your mistake and are going to try to quit him again. Maybe it takes a few tries, but you can do it!

Gymgirl71 · Apr 22, 2019 at 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eskielover

When we don't respect ourselves enough to stay out of bad situations no one else will respect us either. Self respect has to come
before others will respect us.

Yes...well he’s abusive so he will never respect anyone..I was enabling that behavior by staying..I should have ended things long ago when I saw the first red flag

eskielover · Apr 22, 2019 at 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gymgirl71

Yes...well he’s abusive so he will never respect anyone..I was enabling that behavior by staying..I should have ended things long ago when I saw the first red flag

You are right....abusive people will never respect anyone.....but having our OWN self-respect will keep us away from those kinds of abusive people so we don't have the need or desire to get respect from people like that in the first place. It is a learning process with each experience we go through. That is how we personally grow

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Menu

My Support Forums - Mental Health Support Groups

Get emotional support and friendship from others like you!

I made a huge mistake

My Support Forums

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,108 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.3k hugs given	Apr 20, 2019 at 07:38 PM #62 Well, we work on ourselves our entire lives. You are not alone with this challenge either.
	Reply With Quote

hvert Grand Magnate Member Since Jan 2014 Location: US Posts: 4,887 10 3,785 hugs given	Apr 22, 2019 at 07:08 AM #65 It's a relapse. It happens. The important thing is that you realized your mistake and are going to try to quit him again. Maybe it takes a few tries, but you can do it!
	Reply With Quote