Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower - Page 3 - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 04-25-2019, 06:18 AM #21
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

That is a tough one. It would be easier to not go if she was rude to you, but if she's always been friendly... is it a two hour thing or an all day event?
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Old 04-25-2019, 06:30 AM #22
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

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Originally Posted by hvert View Post
That is a tough one. It would be easier to not go if she was rude to you, but if she's always been friendly... is it a two hour thing or an all day event?
You're right. It is a tough one! It's an afternoon thingy... probably several hours.

I still have NO clue what to do! I have not RSVD'd yet.

On the one hand, I like the idea that IF I go, it's an opportunity to get to know my fiance's group better, all on my own and without him. Then the next time I see them all, it will be easier to socialize with the group.

On the other hand, I AM much older, I AM the odd ball, I don't really know any of the women and am not close to ANY of them, so it's very awkward for me. There's only one other women I see out periodically and we're friendly, but that's it.
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:01 AM #23
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

What kind of a bridal shower lasts several hours? I canít imagine spending more than two hours at one.

I would never even think as you are about any difference in age between me and these women, especially not in the capacity of being at a bridal shower. You arenít talking about a bachelorette party, right? Even then, you are not so much older that Iíd ever feel like a fish out of water. Also, Iíve seen so many of those where the older generation of women join in at the strip club and everyone has a good time.
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:07 AM #24
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

To all honesty I just really donít understand age difference concern. This is wedding shower, those are attending by women including women related to a bride, could be her mom and grandma and aunt in presence and sometimes grandmas or moms friends who obviously are older. There could be people of any age. You likely wonít be alone older than others. Maybe if you were 90. If you are invited to a birthday party would you be concerned that people are younger or older than you?

Not knowing others could be a legitimate worry but at one point you donít know anyone when you go places like a new job or new social group. Could you push yourself out of your comfort zone? You have great communication skills and I bet you can converse about things.

Have you been to other wedding showers? Typically youíll eat and drink likely sitting down. Then bride will be opening gifts and youíll be clapping. And then youíll have dessert and go home. Maybe theyíll play stupid games which could be good because youíd be forced to participate. But other than that you likely will just sit at the table.

I do understand how it could be a drag but I was really puzzled by age comment. Is it an excuse or is it for real? I go to high school graduation parties when invited. Lol talk about age difference ...or boredom. haha I typically just give my gift, eat whatís there (often terrible food) and converse with whoever is there and then make my exit. Nothing to sweat about

Donít fuss about it. Go and if it is not a good experience then you tell us about it and we will all laugh. I personally want to hear about this shower especially if they play terrible games lol
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:15 AM #25
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

There are two different things; bridal shower and bachelorette party. A bridal shower is where you give the bride a set of dish towels, lol, and talk about her wedding jitters. A bachelorette party is where she goes out dancing with her girlfriends for one last hurrah. They are two and separate because you canít bring granny to the strip club! Lol
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:20 AM #26
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

I feel slightly invalidated.m by some of the comments. I know youíre all trying to help. I feel uncomfortable, ok? Iíve met this group of women before. Yes I can step out of my comfort zone but for me I just feel a lot older than this group and not in the same bracket.. Itís not comfortable for me. Period. I am uneasy about it. Maybe itís social anxiety I donít know.
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:22 AM #27
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

Keeping them separate is also important as this brings back a funny memory. My friend had a bridal shower and our mutual friend (now neither of us are no longer friends with her after 40 years) gave the bride a big, black dildo to open right in front of her mother! Noooooo, that was a gift for the bachelorette party!
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:24 AM #28
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
I feel slightly invalidated.m by some of the comments. I know youíre all trying to help. I feel uncomfortable, ok? Iíve met this group of women before. Yes I can step out of my comfort zone but for me I just feel a lot older than this group and not in the same bracket.. Itís not comfortable for me. Period. I am uneasy about it. Maybe itís social anxiety I donít know.
You wonít be the oldest one there. I apologize for the invalidation. I understand you feel insecure about the age difference. These are your husbandís friends though, so you inherited them as yours. It is a tricky situation.
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:32 AM #29
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

Sorry I donít mean to invalidate. I understand not wanting to go somewhere. Donít even need a reason not wanting! Itís ok if you donít go. I was just trying to give a positive spin to it. There are reasons not to go (discomfort and just not wanting) and reasons to go (you will have to have these people in your life and itís important for your fiancťe). If you go you might get to know few of them and then it will be easier in the future as you will have to see these people. Or maybe food will be good. Or something else might be fun. Just weigh pros and cons and see which ones wins

But you are totally free not to go. Send a gift and say you are sick.
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Old 04-25-2019, 07:52 AM #30
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Default Re: Dilemma Over a Wedding Shower

Quote:
Originally Posted by golden_eve View Post
I feel slightly invalidated.m by some of the comments. I know youíre all trying to help. I feel uncomfortable, ok? Iíve met this group of women before. Yes I can step out of my comfort zone but for me I just feel a lot older than this group and not in the same bracket.. Itís not comfortable for me. Period. I am uneasy about it. Maybe itís social anxiety I donít know.
How about you try this: RSVP Yes but either in the formal response or a follow up call or email you let her know that you have a previous engagement scheduled (party, baby shower-whatever) so you are only able to stay two hours or pick a time-like 2pm. This was no one can say you didnt go and talk smack about you and you are made too uncomfortable for too long/
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