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Default Apr 27, 2019 at 08:47 PM
  #21
The other good thing about PC is that when we have something we need to do & we put it in writing.....it almost becomes like the group becomes that "accountability partner" & having someone else knowing we need to do something other than just ourselves seems to help push us into action too. I have found that helps me a lot.

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Default Apr 29, 2019 at 07:48 AM
  #22
Let's go !!!!!!
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Default Apr 30, 2019 at 10:24 AM
  #23
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR YOUR KINDNESS AND YOUR AWESOME, KIND GENEROUS, SUPPORTIVE, SWEET, WARM, WISE AND WONDERFUL SUPPORT!!!!! I have contacted my University Counsellor and they set up an appointment for the middle of May! Apparentely there are LOTS of requests! I just hope they'll be able to help me at least a little bit! I wonder if they WILL have enough time to dedicate to me! I hope I won't bother them too much! I hope everything will go well! Thank you ALL SO MUCH for supporting me in this decision! I still feel a little bit guilty about hinding all of this to my parents. I'm also afraid that when I WILL decide what I want to I WILL have to tell them one way or another! I'm afraid I won't be able to do it! I'm afraid to disappoint them! Sending many hugs to ALL OF YOU and to EVERYONE and of course to ALL OF THE AWESOME, KIND, GENEROUS, SUPPORTIVE, SWEET, WISE AND WONDERFUL PEOPLE HERE ON PC!!!!!
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Default Apr 30, 2019 at 04:12 PM
  #24
You will find a way to tell your parents, and I bet it wont be as hard as you think! We’re proud of you. Take a list of the things you want to discuss with the counselor. They are there to help you. Good job!!!

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Default Apr 30, 2019 at 05:20 PM
  #25
The counselors are absolutely there to help you, Mickey. They are there for you to "bother" (LOL). With any luck you will get someone who is concerned and will help you sort things out. It may take more than one appointment. But that is their sole purpose: To help students.

All the best!
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Default Apr 30, 2019 at 05:27 PM
  #26
Great.........good to know you have an appointment set up.

Quote:
I hope I won't bother them too much!
they are there & trained to help students...."bothering them too much" is the LAST THING you should worry about... getting your questions answered & help with direction should be your ONLY concern.

You are not hiding anything from your parents at this point because you really don't know anything to hide. After you have your counselling sessions & sort out for yourself the direction you are going to take. Then you have something to share with your parents. The direction you decide to go in NEEDS TO BE your decision & not something not to disappoint parents or not. You have to live your own life & getting guidance from experienced counsellors is the best way to do that....guilt trip from parents does not accomplish that goal. This is coming from a 66 year old who established my own goals at 17 & has a daughter I allowed to do the same.

You can't tell people something until you know it yourself & you are hiding nothing at this point.

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Default May 02, 2019 at 06:52 AM
  #27
When parents are paying for everything, it’s important to make an agreement with them of where to draw boundaries—-what you will decide and what they will decide. This can be a long and evolving process, so get started! The alternative if u disagree is to get grant or scholarship money if you can, get a part time job, get a roommate and move out.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 08:18 AM
  #28
Thank you EVERYONE SO MUCH for being so supportive! Today I've had my first appointment with my University Counsellor! Unfortunately it didn't go very well! Apparentely I can't have appointments with them since I'm already seeing another therapist currently! Unfortunately that's not allowed! They've said they'll let me know if it can be worked out, but the chances of them being able to set up appointments with me are unfortunately very low especially since they're already so busy with many other students! I believe that's all my fault... I should have expected it and known better, but I didn't! I feel so discouraged right now! I can't really blame anyone else but myself... it ALWAYS goes like that! I don't know what to do right now... I just feel hopeless and stuck! I'm afraid there's not way out for me! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for being HERE FOR ME AND WITH ME WHEN I NEEDED IT! You've ALL done your best to encourage me and support and I'll forever be grateful for that! I'm just so sorry I've disappointed you all once again! Please take GREAT care of yourselves!
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Default May 16, 2019 at 09:24 AM
  #29
Does your university have career counselling rather than "therapy counselling"? Can you find someone who does career counselling in your community?

Can't blame yourself for what you didn't know at the time you set up the first appointment.....not like they told you that if you are seeing a therapist they can't help you.

I personally take finding help one step at a time. If my first attempt doesn't work out I keep looking. Help is usually there somewhere.

My EX-H would give up totally if his first attempt at anything was not what he expected or wanted. Definitely NOT a good trait to develop in life. Keep searching for the answers you need. Have you talked about this with the therapist you are seeing? Maybe you could get some searching direction for answers there?

Don't give up!!!!

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Default May 16, 2019 at 09:45 AM
  #30
good, you mustered the courage & went. so you can't have to counseling systems in place. that makes total sense...if you already have something, leave the free spots available for another student who is less fortunate and needs the support.

so now work with the support you have..your own counselor or therapist, what ever. figuring out your path is difficult but something that can be worked on. what is your passion? what stirs your soul? figure that out and then try and find the career path that closely matches the passion. it might sound ridiculous but everyone has a plan, a path..you just need to stop, reflect and follow it.

school is coming to the end...spend the summer taking time to just sit with yourself....if you could do anything in the world, what would it be????? what did you always say would be a cool job? find that spot. don't worry if it doesn't happen immediately..it took me a while to find my career. be open.

you are at the perfect age to try anything & everything...explore. there will always be time to settle...
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Default May 16, 2019 at 10:36 AM
  #31
Please don't blame yourself for someone else's policy, MickeyCheeky. You'll find a situation that works soon enough.
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Default May 16, 2019 at 01:18 PM
  #32
Yes, exactly as the others said, Mickey. I was confused too - I thought what you wanted was career counseling, not more psychotherapy. You have not disappointed anyone or let anyone down. You did good - you tried something. Keep trying. As I understand it you need help selecting career options. There's got to be someone out there who does that. There are tests, there are ways of narrowing down careers suitable to you, sometimes things you might not even have thought of. There may even be private agencies who can help you with that if the school cannot. Needing help selecting a career has very little to do with needing psychiatric help.

Please don't give up....
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Default May 16, 2019 at 01:46 PM
  #33
There is a pencil and paper test called the Kuder Aptitude Test. I took it years ago and it said I was good at Communications. That can be applied to MANY different careers. I think it would be the same for you. I think your problem could be that you would be good at so many things that it is an issue of narrowing it down!

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Default May 16, 2019 at 07:54 PM
  #34
That makes sense to me too. I think if anybody sees two counselors, therapists, psychiatrists whoever there could be a conflict. I hope things work out to your satisfaction with your current counselor. There is still time for you to smell the roses.
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Default May 17, 2019 at 08:24 PM
  #35
Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I was thinking of starting to see my university counsellor since I DO need some guidance for my life and what I want to do for a career! However I'm just not sure how to begin to ask them! I should contact them through e-mail to schedule an appointment with them but I'm not sure how to word it or what to say! I'm also not sure how to deal with my parents about all of this. I don't want to tell them that I'm doing all of this and technically I don't have to, but if I do this I would have to lie to them and tell them that I'm going to the lessons instead of what I'm actually doing, which is going to the counsellor! Of course I'm ALSO going there to take lessons so I'm not really lying but I still feel guilty about all of this There's also the fact that I'm not sure how many appointments there will be! There should be seven of them, but we're already almost in May and lessons end in June! I feel like there may not be enough time to do all the sessions! I don't want to "waste" this opportunity! I'm just really doubtful about all of this and I feel like I don't have a lot of time to decide! Do you guys have any advice? What do you all suggest? Any advice and suggestions are welcome!
Is there another lesson that you could join that will start so that you could continue lesson? I'm sorry that you are struggling right now!
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Default May 17, 2019 at 10:19 PM
  #36
Is the University Counsellor different from a psychological counsellor, Mickey? If so, can they help you with finding an educational objective? A new major, as we might put it in the US?
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Default May 17, 2019 at 10:40 PM
  #37
It is difficult to navigate life and make the right decisions. It seems like everyone else knows what they are doing. This isn't true!


I am not going to say what you should do. I am not going to try to "fix" your problems.

But maybe - I will suggest - or ask --- what do you do to manage your anxiety? It sounds like you have a lot of free floating anxiety...and then these various situations make it worse. And that's uncomfortable. Yes. We all know about this. New situations are uncomfortable.

As far as what to do or say with your parents I am not going to go there. These things have a way of working themselves out.

But along the way if we learn how to manage our anxiety...it helps. I am still learning this. So look in your box of tools...and see if you can add a few more coping skills.

I cannot tell you what a pleasure it is to serve you, my dear!


You are always, always there for everyone else. For you to come on and ask for help, guidance, opinions, suggestions...is...well...it is like a warm hug for my soul!


You will figure it out. And the fact that you came on here and shared...well, that is a coping skill. So congratulations!

It sounds like you have some trepidation about the future. This happens to everyone in school. You are not alone there. It is the rare person who knows exactly what they want to do with there life.

Whatever it is...you are going to be...a shining light...just like you are here. So many people on PC love and care about you. And why? Because you are loving, generous, and compassionate.

What a pleasure it is to be able to give some of that back to you. Blessings, darling Mickey!

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Default May 18, 2019 at 06:26 AM
  #38
Please don't blame yourself. Who'd have thought that while away from home at university that you couldn't see someone local despite having services back home? I know that I wouldn't have.

I agree about career services on your campus as an alternative step.

Does sound frustrating but I've confidence that you'll persevere.
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Default May 18, 2019 at 08:16 AM
  #39
Thank you ALL SO MUCH for your kindness and generosity! I DOwant to clarify that no, I did NOT want more Psychotherapy, I've simply wanted some specific advice about what career should I pursue! I've even told that to them! Unfortunately that doesn't really change anything since that's what their policy is! It is NOT their fault of course! I'm not blaming them because of it! I DO still feel disappointed though, and most importantly I DO feel lost! I'm not sure about what step should I take next! I don't feel too comfortable about talking to my therapist about ALL of this! I'm not sure if there are ANY other people who may help me at University and if there are, I'm not sure where to find them or WHO to ask! If anyone has ANY suggestions, please don't hesitate to share it, although hugs and support are ALWAYS appreciated as well and what you're doing is already more than I could ever ask for! I'll forever be grateful for ALL the help and support that you're giving! I do hope things will go well for ALL OF YOU as well! I just hope I'll be able to find a path! I'd be interested in doing some tests, but online tests aren't very reliable and I'm not sure WHAT tests could I take IRL! I DO feel very stupid to be honest! THANKS FOR ALL THE HELP AND SUPPORT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to EVERYONE!
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Default May 18, 2019 at 09:09 AM
  #40
In many of the universities in the US they have career planning offices. Totally different from counselling that handles the personal issues.

Maybe your T could direct you to where to get that help rather than work with you on it.

I have found that if I just keep asking questilns & putting my specified need out there someone is bound to have an answer (though it did not always work like that for me when I was younger.....I never stopped seatching for & working toward the answers I needed

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