setting boundaries with people

It perhaps would have for appearances sake looked better to wait on the vacation a year or so until that bump in income boosted the OP into a position of having a small rainy day fund, at least? How lavish was the vacation? The concept of vacation can be subjective as some can consider a vacation as costing significantly more or less than another..

there is a difference between "POOR" and poor. been both. the real "POOR" sucks. no food, no $$, no nothing. when people help you use the help to bail yourself out..maybe you treat yourself to a good meal but a vacation with their cash...and then post the pix on facebbook...sorry that's just wrong. clear up your stuff lay low and be thankful for your friends.

using the cash for a vacation even tho people didn't want it back is just wrong. folks didn't want to donate to send you away they donated to keep in in housing and in food. not in the Bahamas.

wrong move..sorry being a cash challenged big time and sometime depends on others person...you botched this one big time vacations can wait. so can concerts. food, gas bill, rent, no

I feel like this is all about context. I don't know how big your trip was or whatever. If you ask my opinion, I personally would have saved that money versus go on a trip, but it's your money, it's not my place to judge. I think we see "poor" people doing financial things we disagree with all the time, but fail to remember it's not our business. Maybe that expensive phone was a gift? Or something like that. I know when I was struggling my grandmother would send me very nice things, so even though rent and food were issues, I'd still have a few nice things or experiences because she wanted me to enjoy myself occasionally.

Even poor people or people in hard financial situations deserve a chance to take a break. Certainly I would agree it should be done responsibly and within your means, but that's up to you. I would have used that money differently, but that's me. It doesn't mean you were wrong or that you owe anyone an explanation. If one of your friends does ask you, you can simply explain you were very stressed and needed a break so you could come back and hit things hard again. That's totally understandable. Just because someone loans you money for rent one month doesn't mean they get a say in how you spend money on anything else. If they disagree and choose to never loan you money again, that's up to them, but you are perfectly reasonable in having a boundary that how you spend money is up to you. And certainly how or to whom they loan money is up to them. Example: a bank can loan you money for a house but they don't get to choose the house.

Yes, people may disagree with your financial choices. But that's okay. People don't have to agree with you. You get to make choices for you own life, whether good or bad. You don't have to cow tow or change your mind because others disagree. You don't even owe anyone an explanation unless you want to explain.

My mother is in a situation like this. She wants to go on a trip with me but is afraid the rest of the family will wonder where she got the money. It's not a good look, but I wouldn't say that it's completely wrong. It might be enough for these people to not want to help you again. They likely didn't want you to pay them back because you said you were in a bad financial situation.

Technically, f you don't owe any money, then it's none of their business how you manage your finances. Can/Will they form opinions? Sure. But their opinions don't have to effect you. I would be really surprised if someone confronted you about this, to be honest.