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Member Since Aug 2017
Location: United States
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#21
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Anonymous44076, Bill3
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Member Since Sep 2018
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#22
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Also, you mention being around negative people daily, is it not possible to distance yourself from these people? Last edited by Iloivar; May 02, 2019 at 03:01 PM.. |
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Legendary
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#23
You are not a hopeless case.
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Anonymous44076
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#24
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Your self-help books and online research sound wonderful. Did you find anything specific about people struggling with an affair or healing from one? I bet there's some good stuff out there....affairs are so common. I often go to the Psychology Today website for helpful articles and tips on issues that bother me. I have done therapy too and I had both experiences. One made me feel belittled and criticized. The other was wonderful and I made excellent progress with her. My hunch is that if you felt worse when you talked to a therapist, it wasn't a good therapist. Rapport building is so important. I read an article on Psychology Today about how therapy is only as successful as the relationship between therapist and client! So true! It should feel like a partnership, someone in your corner guiding you while honoring your autonomy. It should NEVER feel like a teacher-student or boss-employee dynamic....that is BAD therapy and does happen at times. That said, therapy is not for everyone. I always suggest it because I think at one point it saved my life and I am planning to do it again soon because my depression is gnawing at me again. But I respect your individuality and wishes. Let us know how we can help you here. Maybe you'd like some links to articles and self-help ideas....so at least you don't feel alone in your struggle? |
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Bill3, DanceEngine7
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Bill3
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#25
There are several people here who care about you and want to help. Does that bring you any comfort or hope DanceEngine?
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DanceEngine7
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#26
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On the PT website, I read that we should look for a therapist who has done their own therapy to work on their issues. Makes sense, right? |
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#27
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That's a lot to deal with at once. Basically, a complete overhaul of your life. But it IS possible, one baby step at a time.. it may take some time to accomplish, so be patient with yourself and the process. |
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DanceEngine7
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Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#28
I think when you make changes in your life, you’d lose interest in pursuing wrong men. Settling for wrong men and being desperate for one usually a sigh of everything else being wrong, I believe if you improve your life and become healthier you’d go for better relationships. You can do it
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DanceEngine7
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#29
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A compelling riveting story in a good novel would occupy your mind - you will be grateful for that. Much better than taking drugs, whether physical or allegorical. __________________ Bipolar I w/Psychotic features Zyprexa Zydis 5 mg Gabapentin 1200 mg Melatonin 10 mg Levoxyl 75 mcg (because I took Lithium in the past) past medications: Depakote, Lamictal, Lithium, Seroquel, Trazodone, Risperdal, Cogentin, Remerol, Prozac, Amitriptyline, Ambien, Lorazepam, Klonopin, Saphris, Trileptal, Clozapine and Clozapine+Wellbutrin, Topamax |
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Member Since Sep 2018
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#30
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And yeah. It does make sense. @DanceEngine7 You mention needing to change your living arrangements, friends, job and having depression. Can these be attributed to your desire to look for married men? Im just curious whether that's interrelated with those other issues in your life, or if it's something more seperate. When did this search for married men begin? Is it possible for you to articulate why you fancy married men? |
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#31
[QUOTE=Iloivar;6522332]When suggesting that, I didn't really think of it that way. I just assumed that a therapist would be fine exploring that. Since we don't really know whether the OP felt worse from therapy in general, or the therapist she saw. It sounds like the former, and I can't see how a therapist would take offense to that. Then again, im sure there are a few incompetent therapists out there, as evidenced by your experience.
Sorry I misunderstood you Iliovar. I realize that Dance Engine didn't say why she felt worse when doing therapy. However, I think a talented and caring therapist would naturally make a client feel better. Yes, therapy can be uncomfortable particularly in the beginning but to actually feel worse? That sounds like a mismatch between therapist and client. I recommend that anyone screen a new therapist. Psychology Today provides helpful checklists and the psych authors who contribute there emphasize that therapy is only as good as the quality of rapport between therapist and client. I also screen doctors, dentists, or prospective landlords. Holding a position or credentials doesn't necessarily ensure that one is good at one's job. And people are particularly vulnerable when confiding in a psychologist. The field has its problems like all other fields. There are more than a few problematic therapists out there just as there are more than a few problematic teachers, doctors, mechanics etc. That's why I always encourage screening. Though of course you folks don't have to agree. Peace to all. Last edited by Anonymous44076; May 04, 2019 at 10:58 AM.. |
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Iloivar
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Member Since Sep 2018
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#32
[QUOTE=SilverTrees;6522415]
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Member
Member Since Aug 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 135
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#33
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Anonymous44076
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Location: United States
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#34
I have been doing good over the last month, not thinking about him as much and not much desire to even see him. And then the last few days I'm not sure what happened but I keep thinking about him and I want to see him. I actually couldn't believe how easy it was this time getting over him. And now I'm back to wanting to see him.
I have been trying to no avail to get another job. I need income! I think that is bringing me down. I also have no money to go on vacation anywhere AGAIN. I am sick of this predicament I am in. I really just want to get in car and drive away and start a whole new life. I have been trapped for years. I also get depressed in the summer. |
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Anonymous44076, Bill3
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Bill3
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2015
Location: Phoenix
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#35
This man is taking your time, your focus, your energy and only for a bad result. Put all that energy toward finding a real relationship. He’s a cheater and will probably always b one. Find someone who is truly monogamous that you care for and put all your energy into that—the results will b a lot better!
__________________ Bipolar 2 with anxious distress mixed states & rapid cycling under severe stress tegretol 200 mg wellbutrin 75 mg, cut in half or higher dose as needed Regular aerobic exercise SKILLSET/KNOWLEDGE BASE: Family Medical Advocate Masters in Library Science Multiple Subject Teaching Credential-15 yrs in public schools |
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Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#36
What’s your career field if you don’t mind me asking. There are options like recruitment agencies and vocational agencies etc that could help you with a job search. Or you might even go to school for additional training do you can nail a better job
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