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Default May 05, 2019 at 08:16 PM
  #1
Been a while since I've been here, but I'm desperate to unleash some emotions and distract myself, so here I am. The last 30-ish hours have been miserable and I'm well beyond my limit of being able to cope in healthy ways. I have no one to talk to about it personally, so yay for forums...

This is gonna be a long one.

I'm currently writing this while blaring rock and metal music very loudly with my subwoofer almost at max which is giving me a lot of anxiety itself because I hate loud audio where I can literally feel it, but it's so much better than hearing my neighbors have sex. This is the 3rd time I've heard them. The last two times I was on my way to work. First time I did nothing, just left for work like 15 minutes early. Second time I slammed the door very loudly on my way out, again leaving early, to try to make it obvious I could hear them and was trying to disrupt them. This 3rd time though I don't get to escape to work so hopefully the extremely loud and bass-y music disrupts them enough that they get the point.

Hearing them have sex isn't the only issue I've had with them. Their first night here they had what I assume was a housewarming party and played loud music all night and were yelling a lot and slamming into the floor. I assume the slamming into the floor was some sort of game they were playing, because it was often. It sounded like human bodies falling into the floor hard and they were laughing the whole time, but who really knows. I was able to escape to work then too. Before leaving though I told my landlord about it and he was very passive about it, basically coming off as though he thought I was being overly sensitive because he said things like "the last downstairs tenant complained about you making noise too". (I used to live on the top floor, but switched when she moved out because the first floor has basement and thus washing machine/dryer access.) Well, if she did complain about me I never heard those complaints, and frankly I went out of my way to be quiet. I would tiptoe around even during the day time to try not to disturb her with the creaky floors, I always played music very softly if at all and made sure my subwoofer was on the lowest setting, and just in general tried very hard to not make noise. I'm quiet by nature so that wasn't hard for me really. These people are loud and outgoing and just obnoxious by nature. Every time they have friends over it's even worse, and it seems to be about once a week.

So my only chance is to drive them to leave or hope they get the picture and stop being so f-ing loud. I can't afford to leave myself, I already tried looking at other places but none are in my price range or even remotely as good as the place I have now, it's just being ruined by crappy neighbors atm. I'm not asking for absolute silence or for them to never have sex. If they insist on living on the top floor of a house that has thin floors and walls then they need to sacrifice the obnoxious moaning. NO ONE, except creeps, likes hearing other people have sex.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg of my mood right now.

My relationships with "friends" has been horrible and frankly just heartbreaking to the point that I deleted all of my social chats from both PC and phone last night and want to try my best to just embrace the hermit life. I wasn't far from it anyways to be honest, but at least now I'm not trying to fight it anymore since that seems to be my destiny.

First on the list of heartbreakers is the "friend" I posted about before when I used to frequent this place. He's got a lot of issues right now and is just incapable of being a friend. That's just the harsh truth of it, he desperately needs to focus on him for now. I get that, but it hurts a lot when someone calls you a friend and even says they love you as one, but can't be there for you at all. His genuine excuse for it makes it even worse for me because it feels very invalidating, like I shouldn't be upset that he needs to be selfish, but I am because sometimes I need someone to talk to about even minor things, but even that's too much. There's also the usual issue of not being able to do anything fun with him either.

Second up is a relatively new "friend" I've known for a few months now. This dude is a lot like me so we get along great in many aspects, but also that's a hindrance in some aspects (like our competitive and stubborn natures). His worst flaw by far however is his need to please everyone in his life, prioritizing those who demand things from him, even if he doesn't actually like these people. He will rant at me about how much he hates this and that about them and doesn't like them, yet will go out of his way to meet their demands choosing them over me or his other "good" friends. Then there's me who tries to invite him to do things, but gets pushed aside for the people he hates who demand things of him. He, by his own words, is incapable of taking initiative which alone is hard for me as I struggle with being wanted. Last weekend we had said we would try to play games while I was off that weekend since we hadn't in a while, but the entire weekend went by and Sunday night he sends me a paragraph explaining that he has been drained by everyone "demanding" his attention and he needs to be alone for an unforseen amount of time. It was hard to keep my cool, but I thanked him for apologizing. I made sure not to say it was ok, because it wasn't, not even a little. He always makes a big deal about how he keeps his promises - "if I say I will do something I will do it" - he repeated this as we made plans because I was doubtful he'd have time knowing all the things he had scheduled with others for the same weekend. He no less than promised and made a big deal about him keeping promises. Now all I can see him as is a liar. It's one thing to say "I'll try", but to not only promise but make such a big deal about never going back on your promises... That's not ok.

Now the third one. This one was the one who baked and then iced a most disgusting cake. I wanted to get back into a complicated game, so I decided to look for a coach for said game. This guy was the first to contact me. We voice chatted and he was definitely surprised I was a girl, you could hear it in his voice. (I don't go around advertising that I am because I don't want the horny little boys adding me because they want to play with a girl.) He didn't get creepy at all so it was fine. We got along very well and found out we had more games in common, two of which I have an impossible time finding people to play with. We played one of those other games and it was great. Lots of friendly banter from both of us, good conversations, it felt really relaxed and easy to talk to him. Fast forward to yesterday afternoon, we're playing the difficult game again and I'm a bit frustrated with the weapon modding system. I'm being a tad negative, sure, but he said it was fine and tried to help me figure it out. He was really nice and gave me a few resources to help me. He's supposed to be coaching me on this game remember, so I'd expect him to help in these areas. Suddenly he leaves voice. I thought it was just him disconnecting because his internet isn't fantastic, so I kept fiddling and eventually played some solo. About an hour after he disconnected I decided so send him a text chat message to see if everything was ok, but because Discord is lovely it told me "your message failed to send because you're not friends, don't share a server, or were blocked". So he didn't disconnect, he blocked me, and I don't even understand why. We were getting along great and I got not hints of him being upset or uncomfortable with me. He claimed to be really tolerant of people being upset and seemed to be so, even claiming he had a friend who was very ragey at games, but apparently that was a lie. I wasn't even that ragey or upset. I even told him at one point he could run some solo missions while I figured it out. I only knew him about 24-25hrs, so he had only our (what seemed to be) good conversations to go off of. I guess they weren't as good as I thought and he was extremely fake because he said multiple times he was having a lot of fun and was excited to have a friend with as much in common as we had.

It's just demoralizing, the whole of those 3 being my so-called "friends". This is the best I can get - unreliable liars and fakers. I'd rather not bother with friendship if this is all it's going to be for me. I'm tired of people causing me more and more pain when it should be the opposite. I try my hardest to be a great friend. Even if I'm feeling awful I still enjoy helping my friends with their problems if I can or just listening if that's what they want. I actually keep promises I make or I don't make them if I'm not sure I can keep them. I don't lie to them, even white lies I struggle with pulling off in the last few years. I try to be courteous and give people space they need and respect any limits they set. Yet... this is all I'm worth to them because I'm not rude and inconsiderate. I'm not willing to be that way just to keep friends, so loneliness it is.

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Default May 05, 2019 at 10:41 PM
  #2
Ever think that your neighbors WANT you to hear them?

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Default May 06, 2019 at 02:27 AM
  #3
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Originally Posted by Moose72 View Post
Ever think that your neighbors WANT you to hear them?
If this is the case and OP has shown SHE does NOT want it - then it should not be done anyway. It's one thing to do things to please yourself n your partner, it's another if it infringes on another's rights ..

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Default May 06, 2019 at 02:34 AM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShadowGX View Post
Been a while since I've been here, but I'm desperate to unleash some emotions and distract myself, so here I am. The last 30-ish hours have been miserable and I'm well beyond my limit of being able to cope in healthy ways. I have no one to talk to about it personally, so yay for forums...

This is gonna be a long one.

I'm currently writing this while blaring rock and metal music very loudly with my subwoofer almost at max which is giving me a lot of anxiety itself because I hate loud audio where I can literally feel it, but it's so much better than hearing my neighbors have sex. This is the 3rd time I've heard them. The last two times I was on my way to work. First time I did nothing, just left for work like 15 minutes early. Second time I slammed the door very loudly on my way out, again leaving early, to try to make it obvious I could hear them and was trying to disrupt them. This 3rd time though I don't get to escape to work so hopefully the extremely loud and bass-y music disrupts them enough that they get the point.

Hearing them have sex isn't the only issue I've had with them. Their first night here they had what I assume was a housewarming party and played loud music all night and were yelling a lot and slamming into the floor. I assume the slamming into the floor was some sort of game they were playing, because it was often. It sounded like human bodies falling into the floor hard and they were laughing the whole time, but who really knows. I was able to escape to work then too. Before leaving though I told my landlord about it and he was very passive about it, basically coming off as though he thought I was being overly sensitive because he said things like "the last downstairs tenant complained about you making noise too". (I used to live on the top floor, but switched when she moved out because the first floor has basement and thus washing machine/dryer access.) Well, if she did complain about me I never heard those complaints, and frankly I went out of my way to be quiet. I would tiptoe around even during the day time to try not to disturb her with the creaky floors, I always played music very softly if at all and made sure my subwoofer was on the lowest setting, and just in general tried very hard to not make noise. I'm quiet by nature so that wasn't hard for me really. These people are loud and outgoing and just obnoxious by nature. Every time they have friends over it's even worse, and it seems to be about once a week.

So my only chance is to drive them to leave or hope they get the picture and stop being so f-ing loud. I can't afford to leave myself, I already tried looking at other places but none are in my price range or even remotely as good as the place I have now, it's just being ruined by crappy neighbors atm. I'm not asking for absolute silence or for them to never have sex. If they insist on living on the top floor of a house that has thin floors and walls then they need to sacrifice the obnoxious moaning. NO ONE, except creeps, likes hearing other people have sex.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg of my mood right now.

My relationships with "friends" has been horrible and frankly just heartbreaking to the point that I deleted all of my social chats from both PC and phone last night and want to try my best to just embrace the hermit life. I wasn't far from it anyways to be honest, but at least now I'm not trying to fight it anymore since that seems to be my destiny.

First on the list of heartbreakers is the "friend" I posted about before when I used to frequent this place. He's got a lot of issues right now and is just incapable of being a friend. That's just the harsh truth of it, he desperately needs to focus on him for now. I get that, but it hurts a lot when someone calls you a friend and even says they love you as one, but can't be there for you at all. His genuine excuse for it makes it even worse for me because it feels very invalidating, like I shouldn't be upset that he needs to be selfish, but I am because sometimes I need someone to talk to about even minor things, but even that's too much. There's also the usual issue of not being able to do anything fun with him either.

Second up is a relatively new "friend" I've known for a few months now. This dude is a lot like me so we get along great in many aspects, but also that's a hindrance in some aspects (like our competitive and stubborn natures). His worst flaw by far however is his need to please everyone in his life, prioritizing those who demand things from him, even if he doesn't actually like these people. He will rant at me about how much he hates this and that about them and doesn't like them, yet will go out of his way to meet their demands choosing them over me or his other "good" friends. Then there's me who tries to invite him to do things, but gets pushed aside for the people he hates who demand things of him. He, by his own words, is incapable of taking initiative which alone is hard for me as I struggle with being wanted. Last weekend we had said we would try to play games while I was off that weekend since we hadn't in a while, but the entire weekend went by and Sunday night he sends me a paragraph explaining that he has been drained by everyone "demanding" his attention and he needs to be alone for an unforseen amount of time. It was hard to keep my cool, but I thanked him for apologizing. I made sure not to say it was ok, because it wasn't, not even a little. He always makes a big deal about how he keeps his promises - "if I say I will do something I will do it" - he repeated this as we made plans because I was doubtful he'd have time knowing all the things he had scheduled with others for the same weekend. He no less than promised and made a big deal about him keeping promises. Now all I can see him as is a liar. It's one thing to say "I'll try", but to not only promise but make such a big deal about never going back on your promises... That's not ok.

Now the third one. This one was the one who baked and then iced a most disgusting cake. I wanted to get back into a complicated game, so I decided to look for a coach for said game. This guy was the first to contact me. We voice chatted and he was definitely surprised I was a girl, you could hear it in his voice. (I don't go around advertising that I am because I don't want the horny little boys adding me because they want to play with a girl.) He didn't get creepy at all so it was fine. We got along very well and found out we had more games in common, two of which I have an impossible time finding people to play with. We played one of those other games and it was great. Lots of friendly banter from both of us, good conversations, it felt really relaxed and easy to talk to him. Fast forward to yesterday afternoon, we're playing the difficult game again and I'm a bit frustrated with the weapon modding system. I'm being a tad negative, sure, but he said it was fine and tried to help me figure it out. He was really nice and gave me a few resources to help me. He's supposed to be coaching me on this game remember, so I'd expect him to help in these areas. Suddenly he leaves voice. I thought it was just him disconnecting because his internet isn't fantastic, so I kept fiddling and eventually played some solo. About an hour after he disconnected I decided so send him a text chat message to see if everything was ok, but because Discord is lovely it told me "your message failed to send because you're not friends, don't share a server, or were blocked". So he didn't disconnect, he blocked me, and I don't even understand why. We were getting along great and I got not hints of him being upset or uncomfortable with me. He claimed to be really tolerant of people being upset and seemed to be so, even claiming he had a friend who was very ragey at games, but apparently that was a lie. I wasn't even that ragey or upset. I even told him at one point he could run some solo missions while I figured it out. I only knew him about 24-25hrs, so he had only our (what seemed to be) good conversations to go off of. I guess they weren't as good as I thought and he was extremely fake because he said multiple times he was having a lot of fun and was excited to have a friend with as much in common as we had.

It's just demoralizing, the whole of those 3 being my so-called "friends". This is the best I can get - unreliable liars and fakers. I'd rather not bother with friendship if this is all it's going to be for me. I'm tired of people causing me more and more pain when it should be the opposite. I try my hardest to be a great friend. Even if I'm feeling awful I still enjoy helping my friends with their problems if I can or just listening if that's what they want. I actually keep promises I make or I don't make them if I'm not sure I can keep them. I don't lie to them, even white lies I struggle with pulling off in the last few years. I try to be courteous and give people space they need and respect any limits they set. Yet... this is all I'm worth to them because I'm not rude and inconsiderate. I'm not willing to be that way just to keep friends, so loneliness it is.
I came back here for similar reasons - felt everyone was turning on me .. those I had known for years n those I just met. I was saying precisely what you entitled this "I hate people". Truth was - I hated the situation bc I did not understand it. I still don't. I still feel like I am in it. But being back at PC has helped me chill (a little bit). Hopefully it can for you too. You seem to be better at expressing yourself than me. I got to the point I felt I should not speak bc that was somehow "wrong". Keep getting your feelings out n you will be doing better than me in no time. ❤

Be good to yourself til then ..

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Default May 06, 2019 at 05:09 AM
  #5
Hang in there.

Loud neighbors are a pain!

If your neighbors hold loud parties, call the police. There should be no noise pretty much after 10pm. It’s pretty much true in every town. Can’t advice re sex. How long does it last? It can’t be more than like what an hour?

Someone you knew for for 24 hours online it hardly a friend, you don’t know him at all. He could be anybody and could have 100 personal reasons to block you.

The one who promised to play but then said he couldn’t, it’s frustrating but how well do you know him? Are these people online only gamers you play with? You can’t really know what they up to outside of gaming. They might have something going on or issues or who knows

Do you see a therapist? I think it could help a lot
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Default May 06, 2019 at 06:21 AM
  #6
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, ShadowGX! Hang in there! I understand your struggles! I COMPLETELY agree with what all the other wise, wonderful posters have already wisely said better than I ever could! You've been given PLENTY of great, wise, wonderful advice and suggestions! I'd suggest to follow it as much as you possibly CAN if you want to! I'm very sorry that your landlord isn't listening to you! You have EVERY RIGHT to live in peace and quiet! Perhaps you've done this already, but I'd suggest to talk to them about ALL OF THIS and see how it goes from there if you haven't already of course! Hopefully they'll listen to what you have to say and understand what you mean and perhaps they'll try to keep it quiet! It IS your right to dot hat after all! Try it if you haven't already! I'd say it's worth a shot! What do you have to lose? As for your friends, unfortunately it's not easy to find caring, true, honest people so I COMPLETELY understand your frustration! Please don't give up your search though! There ARE good, honest people out there! It IS true! Just keep looking, ok? I understand it's not easy! Just give it a try though, ok? Of course we'll always be here for you to support you and to talk to you WHENEVER YOU NEED IT, so you have NOTHING to fear about that! We'll NEVER abandon you! I PROMISE YOU THAT!!!!! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE!!!!! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let us know if there's ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL that we can do to HELP YOU OUT! Just let us know and mention it and we'll try to do EVERYTHIGN WE CAN and we'll try to do OUR BEST to HELP YOU OUT IN ANY WAY! I PROMISE YOU THAT!!!!! PLEASE REMEMBER ALL OF THAT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE!!!!! WISH YOU GOOD LUCK! Let us know how it goes! We DO want to know how things are going for you and if things are GETTING ANY BETTER FOR YOU! Please keep us updated as much as you can if you want to, ok? That's ALL we're asking you, along with you taking THE BEST POSSIBLE CARE OF YOURSELF, ok? Sending many hugs to you, ShadowGX!!!!!
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Default May 06, 2019 at 11:46 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by divine1966 View Post
If your neighbors hold loud parties, call the police. There should be no noise pretty much after 10pm. It’s pretty much true in every town. Can’t advice re sex. How long does it last? It can’t be more than like what an hour?
They only had the party one time, or at least if they've done it since I wasn't home. The only other issues have been minor by comparison because that party was extreme, and they've never been loud late at night so I just have to deal with it as best I can (which is not very well because yay anxiety).

As for the sex, I can hear them get "playful" so that's when I know it's about to start, but then as soon as I hear the moaning I try to escape as fast as possible. Yesterday when I was forced to stay home while they were doing it and blaring the music, they ended up leaving the house about 5 songs in so ~20ish minutes is how long the moaning part lasted.

Quote:
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Someone you knew for for 24 hours online it hardly a friend, you don’t know him at all. He could be anybody and could have 100 personal reasons to block you.
I wish I could accept that reasoning and use that to help cope. All I can focus on right now though is how in my eyes our interaction was one of the best I had ever had for a first impression, so I can't fathom what his reasoning was when it seemingly went so well and he had even said it was great. In a society where first impressions are everything and I normally make bad ones it's just so demotivating stacked with all this other stuff. If one of my best first impressions with so much in common still ended up in a loss, how am I ever going to make friends or find a mate?

Quote:
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The one who promised to play but then said he couldn’t, it’s frustrating but how well do you know him? Are these people online only gamers you play with? You can’t really know what they up to outside of gaming. They might have something going on or issues or who knows
I don't know him super well, but good enough I would have considered him a good friend. They are all online only, but it's not restricted to just gaming, we have talks about actual life things too which is why I felt so close to this one in the first place. We even discussed meeting IRL because he's only 5-6 hours away and it's very unusual for me to not just agree but bring up meeting someone like that. We've been through a lot of the same things and overall mesh well, it's just the way he handles prioritizing people he basically hates over things he'd rather do just because they pressure him... Ugh.

Do you see a therapist? I think it could help a lot[/QUOTE]

I don't because I can't afford it. For now I just rely on trying to work through things myself, but sometimes it requires talking to others but since I have no one... Well that's what this place is for.

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Default May 06, 2019 at 11:52 AM
  #8
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You seem to be better at expressing yourself than me. I got to the point I felt I should not speak bc that was somehow "wrong".
Via text I'm decent at expressing myself, but via voice not so much because I have less time to think and consider when I have to use my voice... Finding an outlet for expressing myself regardless is hard though. Friends would ideally be that outlet (within reason I do realize), but as my first post says I don't have that at all right now... Next best thing is letting it out here I suppose.

I definitely feel you on the "felt I should not speak bc that was somehow "wrong"' part. With the one friend who has too much personal issues atm it feels that way exactly, like how dare I trouble him with my issues when he has so much going on. I don't want to hurt him, so even if he offers to listen (which is extremely rare nowadays) I brush it off and keep it bottled up.

I hope you can learn to express yourself too, even if it's just here. It took me a lot of practice and I can only really do it in text, but at least it's something.

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Default May 06, 2019 at 11:55 AM
  #9
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Ever think that your neighbors WANT you to hear them?
I sure af hope not. That makes it all the more disturbing if that's the case. I hope it's just that they don't realize how thin the walls and floors are. If they insist on being loud then I'm going to have to come up with more and more drastic measures to make them miserable while doing it. I'm stuck here, so if they want to fight they will lose because I have no choice but to win.

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Default May 06, 2019 at 12:08 PM
  #10
It sucks to not be able to express yourself - no matter what the forum. For me ... I am starting to try here more again (this is not my first time being here) - but a couple ppl (not friends but ppl who don't know me) have snapped at me even here .. just for expressing my feelings or asking advice about them - so yea, it's just a feeling of "wrong" no matter what.

I hope it will be different for you - it usually is really supportive for me which is why I came back. Right now I have no friends really either n this is the only place I trust with personal feelings .. so, here I am. ❤

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Default May 08, 2019 at 08:10 PM
  #11
Nope, they didn't get the hint from the loud music. They're screwing loudly again. So loud music again it is, even louder this time until I'm forced to turn it off at 10pm (roughly 50 minutes from now).

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Default May 09, 2019 at 06:51 AM
  #12
Annoying neighbors are maddening. I got a white noise machine at a discount shop and it is my favorite frigging thing.
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Default May 09, 2019 at 07:04 PM
  #13
Something like that would just annoy me I think, especially if I had to have it loud enough to not hear them have sex. >.< I use a floor fan when I need to sleep during the day and that's ok at drowning out noise and not disturbing my sleep at the same time, but I think even that's too loud to use when I'm trying to play games or watch things. I can hear them over my games and stuff mind you... That's how loudly they do it. I don't try to hear them.

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Default May 09, 2019 at 07:15 PM
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I'm just sitting here reading this laughing to myself while reading the post and the comments (it's because I had a bunch of caffeine). Those damn noisy neighbors!!! xD

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Default May 11, 2019 at 07:31 PM
  #15
Would headphones for gaming/radio/tv and earplugs for sleep or etc help?

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Default May 13, 2019 at 02:26 AM
  #16
The last two apartments I've lived in...you can't hear neighbors through the walls...which is good. Or from downstairs. But am bothered by noisy upstairs neighbor now with their snoring, yappy dog, and stomping at all hours. Loud enough it wakes me up at 3 a.m. I bang on the ceiling. A lot. I tried playing loud music but found it doesn't affect loud neighbors that much. I wear earplugs almost continually. They help but you need the heavy duty noise blocker kind.


It's not just apartment living. I owned a house and have rented houses and had neighbors who had loud sex, played loud music, and one time a couple had a big weekend long wedding at their house and by Monday the neighborhood was littered with empty champagne bottles and used condoms. Like all up and down the street where kids played. People's dogs were always escaping and some were big gnarly dogs and I had to bring my kid and friends inside while I called Animal Control.


It's humanity. It sucks. People are pretty inconsiderate.


I personally don't think online is a good place to make friends. I have had some nice friends online but they are never long lasting --- because if they were in other countries I knew we would never meet and eventually I got bored - not with the people so much as with a digital friendship. Like we couldn't ever go out for coffee or yoga class or hiking or play music and dance around...so being online with them only got boring. I have had online friends from all over the world. It's been interesting but they are more like penpals for a short time than friends.

Right now I am developing some new interests and will be looking to join some groups in the future. Do you have places where people game in real life in your town? My town has lots of those kinds of places. Right now I am low on friends and its lonely.


Usually when I feel the most needy and vulnerable is when I find myself lacking in real friends. After feeling sorry for myself I just get on with life and try not to worry about it. Then lo and behold when I feel more self-contained...people start showing up!


Good luck with the loud sex peeps. It's probably more the fault of bad construction in your apartment. This has been an ancient problem with apartments. I have lived in new apartments and old apartments and it's the same. I have lived in townhouses and detached houses and it's the same. I once knew a guy who took one room in his house and totally soundproofed it. At the time I thought it was weird but now I think it's a cool idea.

Good luck.

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Default May 14, 2019 at 01:34 AM
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Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post
Do you have places where people game in real life in your town? My town has lots of those kinds of places. Right now I am low on friends and its lonely.
Only 2 places I know of. One is a Pokemon Go group. I tried that shortly after I moved here a couple years ago, but the few people my age were extremely immature like kids and I couldn't stand hearing them talk about "lolol buttholes" and "lawl that person is soooo hawt". The couple of older people just really intimidated me so I never was able to make conversation unless they made it first. Ugh.

The other place is a little gaming shop that advertises they do gaming meetups, but it terrifies me to even consider going there because of how it looks hella shady. Shouldn't judge a book by its cover, I know, but my social anxiety doesn't let me function as it is so there's no way I would be able to manage that.

As for internet friendships being boring, I've never found that to be the case for me. In your case your hobbies require meeting someone IRL to do them, but not in my case since gaming can be done online (and most of it is nowadays). I only function a little bit socially there because of lack of faces and if someone annoys me or is mean to me I can just block them and move on with my life.

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Default May 14, 2019 at 02:22 AM
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Only 2 places I know of. One is a Pokemon Go group. I tried that shortly after I moved here a couple years ago, but the few people my age were extremely immature like kids and I couldn't stand hearing them talk about "lolol buttholes" and "lawl that person is soooo hawt". The couple of older people just really intimidated me so I never was able to make conversation unless they made it first. Ugh.

The other place is a little gaming shop that advertises they do gaming meetups, but it terrifies me to even consider going there because of how it looks hella shady. Shouldn't judge a book by its cover, I know, but my social anxiety doesn't let me function as it is so there's no way I would be able to manage that.

As for internet friendships being boring, I've never found that to be the case for me. In your case your hobbies require meeting someone IRL to do them, but not in my case since gaming can be done online (and most of it is nowadays). I only function a little bit socially there because of lack of faces and if someone annoys me or is mean to me I can just block them and move on with my life.





I could solely pursue my new interests online but don't want to. I don't think I have social anxiety but...it becomes a habit hanging out in solitude. And it does take some discipline to go out and do things alone.


But apartment living is boring. No yard and no garden. I don't have pets. I really need to get out.

Meetups, groups and things...are always an experiment. Sometimes they work out...sometimes they don't. But you never know unless you try.

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Default May 14, 2019 at 02:32 AM
  #19
In my case the apartment is actually a 2-story home that was converted into one bedroom and two bedroom apartments, the latter being on the top floor where "they" reside. It could be worse, I could have neighbors on all sides, so it's just another reason I cling so hard to this place because I would not be able to afford anything but a crappy low income apartment if I had to move out, especially if it was now since I have no savings.

My two kitties keep me company, but yeah other than the internet peeps I don't have anyone so bleh... But if the people near me are all the same, which seems to be the case, I don't want 'em.

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Default May 14, 2019 at 08:00 AM
  #20
I understand your feelings about the noise. Before my husband and I moved to a detached house at the end of March, we were renting a duplex with a shared wall. We never heard the people having sex, at least, but they were otherwise really loud and annoying. The guy would run an electric saw and hammer nearly every day, sometimes 7-8 hours a day. He'd constantly drill the shared wall. Since we have moved, the neighors on the other side told me that he is now sawing sometimes until 11 PM! They also would leave their dog alone in the yard for hours and he'd howl constantly. There was a lot of other noise on that street too. He was violating noise laws, but he's really scary and we feared retaliation if we called the authorities.


Some people don't understand why it bothered me so much, but I really felt my personal space invaded. I couldn't think straight at times. It was especially bad since I work from home. It not only affected my concentration, but could make it hard to make phone calls for work. The house was small so it was impossible to escape the noise completely.

The day I turned in the keys was a very happy one! We live in a much quieter neighborhood now and the neighbors seem to be much more respectful.
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