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DechanDawa
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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:03 PM
  #41
On this thread people keep saying that when they are done with someone they are done.

Really, you are never done.

We are karmically connected to every single person in our lives.

The Buddhists teach...even if we accidentally bump into a stranger in the grocery store...that brief and fleeting interaction...connects us to that stranger on some level. That is how interconnected we all are, in fact.


I think...we need to look deep within ourselves...and unhook patterns of abuse. Just "cutting off" the person does nothing.

I see every life situation as a learning opportunity.

I am trying to understand the dynamics of this situation on a deep level. I doubt if just cutting this person off FB is going to undo 50 years of friendship.

But when something ends...we want closure, when, in fact, only death ends the relationship.


When someone dies then there is no more relating. I went through this recently with my only sister. She was a toxic narcissist up until the end. It was very painful because I wanted resolution and a few apologies, as well, and it never happened.


I think, probably, my gradually going no contact in this situation has something to do with my sister's death. I had a lot of complicated grief...both love and anger...when my sister died.


Big changes in relationships send shock waves through our system. We need to be gentle with ourselves and apply a lot of self-care while dealing with this situations.


Odd that no one on this thread has advised me to be gentle with myself, take care of myself, apply self care, positivity, and happiness in my life. (My life has been kind of a mess since dealing with this...and self care has been difficult.)


In the end....compassion is what heals. Lots of compassion.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:21 PM
  #42
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I think I found a good solution for the facebook issue. I went on and was able to ‘unfollow’ any new posts from my mother and sister (heaven help me!) and I was able to set my new posts to be ‘friends except my mother and sister’ and I’m pretty sure no one else on facebook can see that setting to know I did it. This way, I didn’t cause any drama by unfriending or blocking, but I won’t be bothered by them.

This thread got me thinking that I am truly bothered by their antics on stupid facebook, and why should I let them chase me off there?

I had posted a video of my son playing guitar at a school show, mostly because his music teacher asked to see it. I was glad that my mom called and said she enjoyed it. But then she had to say how my sister liked it and commented. What bugs me is that my sister treated me cruelly several months ago (which was the first conflict ever had with her), refused to apologize, and never called me again. So why is she liking my posts? It does bother me. It feels like control and disrespect or it is hoovering without actually ever having to apologize.

Thanks all for the helpful posts that got me to block them for my own peace of mind.

Maybe doing this will alleviate any discomfort your ex friend’s likes are giving you, DD.






I have used all the settings to hide, block, and selectively choose who sees my stuff...for years.

You see, you posted a picture of your family on FB. I don't do that. I don't post any photos of my adult child. He hates FB and deleted his account long ago and I respect his privacy and never post pictures of him. We both have other niche social media accounts on other sites.


I mostly have my Facebook up as a business profile. I do freelance work...and I am presently looking for part-time work. I have heard that it is good to keep up one's FB account to have a social profile. To prove that you exist! I notice others don't post information about their work experience. I do post that stuff.

If someone wants to find out information before hiring me they will find basic stuff on FB about my education, career path, and experience. They won't find pictures of me with friends and family. They will see posts I make on social and political issues. That's where I get my likes. I am creative with my posts and how I present issues - with graphics and stuff...and people like that. Gee, people must be really bored! But I do get a lot of likes on my political and social issues posts.

Right now I am very involved with Plastics Pollution Prevention and policies around that. Most of my FB posts are about that.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:21 PM
  #43
DechanDawa: I think we've come in full circle here and you seem to know what's best for yourself better than anyone else. So then I'd say follow your heart. Good luck.
 
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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:24 PM
  #44
Of course, take care of yourself. Golden Eve said that, maybe on another thread.

With my sister, I deeply want her to care for me and feel bad for having hurt me. She’s obviously not going to. I didn’t officially end anything. Just really, none of them care.

You may want to look at the whole relationship with your friend. Has she been very hurtful time and again? Is this something that can be repaired?

With my friend that I no longer speak to, she was very toxic for a long time and there was no repairing it. She refused to have any respect for me. I had to block her because she was harassing me with texts. Then she never called again to apologize because she also truly didn’t care.

This may or may not be the case with your friend.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:28 PM
  #45
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DechanDawa: I think we've come in full circle here and you seem to know what's best for yourself better than anyone else. So then I'd say follow your heart. Good luck.




Hmm. Thanks, I think? I mean...I have been following my heart all along. It's a journey...with many twists and turns. If recovery from narcissistic abuse was easy the Internet wouldn't be filled with hundreds of sites devoted to it.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:40 PM
  #46
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Of course, take care of yourself. Golden Eve said that, maybe on another thread.

With my sister, I deeply want her to care for me and feel bad for having hurt me. She’s obviously not going to. I didn’t officially end anything. Just really, none of them care.

You may want to look at the whole relationship with your friend. Has she been very hurtful time and again? Is this something that can be repaired?

With my friend that I no longer speak to, she was very toxic for a long time and there was no repairing it. She refused to have any respect for me. I had to block her because she was harassing me with texts. Then she never called again to apologize because she also truly didn’t care.

This may or may not be the case with your friend.



My friend is "covert" which means she is mostly very nice. Her manipulation is...in the form of interfering and giving unsolicited advice and treating me like a victim of life...which I am not. Of course, she never apologizes.

I sympathize with you regarding your sister. My sister was out-of-touch with me for several years (cruelly) then she became terminally ill. Suddenly she was back in touch and insisted on a big family reunion (of adult siblings) before she died. It was horrific! I tried to get out of it but my niece called me and practically threatened me...to insist I show up. She even paid for my travel expenses which because of distance were quite expensive. This required me to interface with several other toxic members of my family.

My sister did not change -- even up into the end. Gave me nothing. Nothing. It was so painful. There she was...near death and on palliative chemo...chain-smoking (My God) and drinking coffee...and spouting off her usual crap. And I thought, "My God...even on death's door they don't change." During this time I was being bullied by other toxic siblings who showed up.

It sounds like I didn't love my sister. I did. But in the end...she gave nothing. Nothing. She just drifted off on the waves of her own lifelong self-absorption.

Try to detach from your sister a bit. It's not worth it to be hurt by someone who simply...doesn't care.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:45 PM
  #47
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
Of course, take care of yourself. Golden Eve said that, maybe on another thread.

With my sister, I deeply want her to care for me and feel bad for having hurt me. She’s obviously not going to. I didn’t officially end anything. Just really, none of them care.

You may want to look at the whole relationship with your friend. Has she been very hurtful time and again? Is this something that can be repaired?

With my friend that I no longer speak to, she was very toxic for a long time and there was no repairing it. She refused to have any respect for me. I had to block her because she was harassing me with texts. Then she never called again to apologize because she also truly didn’t care.

This may or may not be the case with your friend.


SORRY FOR THE DOUBLE POST WHICH I CANNOT SEEM TO DELETE. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT OTHERS BUT I HAVE BEEN HAVING A LOT OF TECHNICAL PROBLEMS WITH THIS SITE THIS WEEK.


My friend is "covert" which means she is mostly very nice. Her manipulation is...in the form of interfering and giving unsolicited advice and treating me like a victim of life...which I am not. Of course, she never apologizes.

I sympathize with you regarding your sister. My sister was out-of-touch with me for several years (cruelly) then she became terminally ill. Suddenly she was back in touch and insisted on a big family reunion (of adult siblings) before she died. It was horrific! I tried to get out of it but my niece called me and practically threatened me...to insist I show up. She even paid for my travel expenses which because of distance were quite expensive. This required me to interface with several other toxic members of my family.

My sister did not change -- even up into the end. Gave me nothing. Nothing. It was so painful. There she was...near death and on palliative chemo...chain-smoking (My God) and drinking coffee...and spouting off her usual crap. And I thought, "My God...even on death's door they don't change." During this time I was being bullied by other toxic siblings who showed up.

It sounds like I didn't love my sister. I did. But in the end...she gave nothing. Nothing. She just drifted off on the waves of her own lifelong self-absorption.

Try to detach from your sister a bit. It's not worth it to be hurt by someone who simply...doesn't care.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 03:50 PM
  #48
Leaving this thread open as it has struck a chord.

I invite others to share their experiences.

There is no "right" or "wrong" way to deal with this kind of situation.

We are all trying to heal.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 04:56 PM
  #49
[QUOTE=DechanDawa;6532333]
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Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
Thank you ennie.

I feel like you - DechanDawa- are giving your narcissist friend mixed messages by not being straightforward with her. That could come back to bite you in the end and cause you more emotional grief and pain than you deserve.

The rule of thumb with people is to always be direct with them, so they know what to expect from you. Even if they don't like the boundaries you put up, too bad. Those boundaries are for your own protection, DechanDawa.

It's hard to stand up to a friend you've known your whole life. But if you want her around, then you need to accept her for the way she treats you. If you don't accept her mistreatment of you, you owe it to yourself to hold her accountable. Otherwise if you don't hold her accountable, she'll think it's ok to continue to hurt you and mistreat you b/c you never speak up for yourself. I know it can be scary to confront someone who has a strong personality, but it comes down to who matters more to you: your toxic friend's feelings, or your own?[/QUOTE



Thanks for the advice which I am sure you are giving in good faith.

I have used the grey rock technique before effectively.

I believe...in the end...it has to do with psychic energy.

I have been friends with this person for 50 years, practically since infancy. We communicate through energetic channels. It was the kind of friendship...where...just thinking about her would cause her to call me.

The point here that everyone is missing is about Facebook, social media, etc. being the most important consideration.

Believe me this person has countless ways of hoovering. We grew up in the same community and know hundreds of the same people. Long before Facebook there were other ways people communicated socially. Some are still in effect in small towns.

I want to minimize damage. I don't want every cousin of mine knowing my business.

So, yes, I am stepping lightly around this.

As I have said before...in other threads...my best advice came from Golden Eve. If we strengthen our own lives and introduce a lot of positivity...demons will naturally fall away because there will be no energy, psychic or otherwise, to feed off.

We become codependent to narcissists because there are weakness in our own life...such as...imbalances, substance abuse, lack of confidence and self esteem.

In truth...and this has been after a lot of soul searching...I can see where this situation has nothing to do with the "other" and is more a wake up call about my own life.

PS You were involved in blocking, unblocking and then blocking a narcissist on your Facebook. This was feeding their energy. If you had applied the grey rock technique you could have psychically cut off the energetic connection with this person. You can find information on the grey rock technique online. Esteemology is a very good site on recovery from narcissistic abuse.
Well, I live by the rule of thumb that to keep my power, I have to block the person from my life. Sure, he could easily "friend" my friends on Facebook if he wants to, to get access to me that way (so he can trash talk me to my friends). But I'm not worried because I have more faith in my friends' loyalty to me and protecting me from him.

I'm a very intuitive person so I can respect that psychic connection that you have with this friend whom you've known for 50 years. I also suspect you don't want to deal with the fallout, of the hundreds of mutual friendships and acquaintances who would become aware that you and your friend disconnected.

It's par for the course, however, when you disconnect from a toxic person that there will be interpersonal fallout, whether it's on a familial or workplace, or social level. You can't just end a friendship and not have the world know about it. Someone in your mutual social circles will find out. But, that is inevitable.

I'm not going to let the narcissist stay friends with me on Facebook. I will never unblock him again. I blocked him from my cellphone number and email address. I don't care about his feelings. I don't care if he feels satisfaction that I blocked him. I have my power back, by blocking him. If I left him on my Facebook page, he would still have access to me and I won't let that happen.

I read about the grey-rock method of not reacting to narcissists. The articles I read, suggest a combination of using the grey rock method and blocking the narcissist from all social media, email and cellphones. The fact that the narcissist tried to hook me with "What happened?" as soon as I unblocked him from my Facebook, shows me that it wasn't safe for me to keep him even hidden on my Facebook page b/c he'd still have access to my life.

I don't care if he tries to trash talk me to our mutual acquaintances or tries to ruin my reputation. The people who know me, who like me, won't let him do that. And the people who don't know me, who like him, will believe him. Either way, I've cut off access to him by blocking him, so I'm feeling confident I won't have to ever deal with him again, even on a psychic level anymore.

I wish you the best of luck with your friend of 50 years. I also follow Buddhism and believe every living thing is connected on a metaphysical level. But, that doesn't mean we are required to compassionately stay connected to a source of toxicity -- esp. if that source is a person who is out to harm us.
 
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Default May 16, 2019 at 05:12 PM
  #50
[QUOTE=StreetcarBlanche;6532488]
Quote:
Originally Posted by DechanDawa View Post

Well, I live by the rule of thumb that to keep my power, I have to block the person from my life. Sure, he could easily "friend" my friends on Facebook if he wants to, to get access to me that way (so he can trash talk me to my friends). But I'm not worried because I have more faith in my friends' loyalty to me and protecting me from him.

I'm a very intuitive person so I can respect that psychic connection that you have with this friend whom you've known for 50 years. I also suspect you don't want to deal with the fallout, of the hundreds of mutual friendships and acquaintances who would become aware that you and your friend disconnected.

It's par for the course, however, when you disconnect from a toxic person that there will be interpersonal fallout, whether it's on a familial or workplace, or social level. You can't just end a friendship and not have the world know about it. Someone in your mutual social circles will find out. But, that is inevitable.

I'm not going to let the narcissist stay friends with me on Facebook. I will never unblock him again. I blocked him from my cellphone number and email address. I don't care about his feelings. I don't care if he feels satisfaction that I blocked him. I have my power back, by blocking him. If I left him on my Facebook page, he would still have access to me and I won't let that happen.

I read about the grey-rock method of not reacting to narcissists. The articles I read, suggest a combination of using the grey rock method and blocking the narcissist from all social media, email and cellphones. The fact that the narcissist tried to hook me with "What happened?" as soon as I unblocked him from my Facebook, shows me that it wasn't safe for me to keep him even hidden on my Facebook page b/c he'd still have access to my life.

I don't care if he tries to trash talk me to our mutual acquaintances or tries to ruin my reputation. The people who know me, who like me, won't let him do that. And the people who don't know me, who like him, will believe him. Either way, I've cut off access to him by blocking him, so I'm feeling confident I won't have to ever deal with him again, even on a psychic level anymore.

I wish you the best of luck with your friend of 50 years. I also follow Buddhism and believe every living thing is connected on a metaphysical level. But, that doesn't mean we are required to compassionately stay connected to a source of toxicity -- esp. if that source is a person who is out to harm us.




Wait a minute. Did you unfriend that person on FB? Is that the same as blocking? I mean if you...yeah, unfriend someone and block them then they are gone. I am not sure why you went on and on about this person here. You keep talking about him. You see, energetically you have not let go. It seems like maybe you should delete your FB account altogether as it appears to be a source of problems for you.

Buddhist metaphysics teaches interconnectedness. It is simply a FACT that we are all interconnected. Truly the only way to heal...from the Buddhist perspective...is to extend compassion. Buddhists always extend compassion even to their enemies.

But I was not talking about Buddhist practice but rather Buddhist metaphysics. In truth the teachings on Buddhism can be pretty unrealistic in real life. Buddhism is not a very self-protective religion and historically has not respected women's rights.

I want to avoid drama while disconnecting from my friend. I don't want to stir up a big hornet's nest of vindictiveness. So in that respect I am a bit Buddhist, I guess, though mostly lapsed.

I believe Grey Rock Technique can be applied energetically. I had a situation of a very abusive relationship ending and a bit of stalking. People advised me to get a restraining order, change my number, change the locks on my door, buy a gun etc. Finally...I did nothing. Absolutely nothing. I didn't change my number or do any of that other stuff. I simply applied a Grey Rock mentality. I just moved on with my life.

I applied Grey Rock by detaching from all the relationship drama and went on with my life...and it worked. The person eventually just faded away.

It was much more peaceful than a lot of the drama everyone else was suggesting.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 05:22 PM
  #51
It's ok. I lived with Buddhist monks in my 20s, so I actually do "get" Buddhism.

And I don't have a problem with Facebook.

How a Narcissist Uses Facebook: Red Flag, Social media as a weapon

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"Asmita": An Eastern Perspective on Narcissism | Psychology Today

I wish you the best of luck with your friend of 50 years. This is an important discussion b/c narcissism will always exist and how we deal with it, depends on what tools we use in our lives to stay connected to other people.

"Asmita": An Eastern Perspective on Narcissism
Narcissism is as old as the Himalayas.
Posted Feb 12, 2018

Quote:
Narcissism is the pursuit of gratification arising from a sense of vanity and overestimation of one's self-value. Narcissism is the term used in psychodynamic psychology to characterize personality styles that are egocentric, lack perspective-taking, and have impaired empathy and high levels of envy.

The term originated from Greek mythology, where the figure of Narcissus fell in love with his image reflected in a pool of water. Sigmund Freud's classic essay "On Narcissism" (1914) formalized the concept in a psychoanalytic exploration of the positive and negative features of the ego about others.

Western psychology and psychiatry have used various concepts of narcissism to understand and explain the structure of personality and the challenges it faces. Western perspectives have dominated the public's understanding while Eastern views on the subject, that is, "asmi" as the veil or coloring of “I-ness,” have been relatively eclipsed.

This brief article compares Western perspectives with those of the east as used in Buddhism and Hinduism/Yoga.

Western Perspectives on Narcissism

Western views of narcissism are typified in The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (current DSM-5, 2013) of the American Psychiatric Association. Since 1968, the DSM has included the concept in its description of the "narcissistic personality disorder" (code: F60.81).

DSM-5 criteria include the following:

Grandiosity in fantasy and behavior
Need for admiration
Lack of empathy
Preoccupied with ideal power, beauty, and love
Feels special
Requires excessive admiration
Has a sense of entitlement and unreasonable expectations for favorable treatment
Tendency to be exploitative
Lacks empathy
Is often envious
Shows arrogant, haughty attitudes and behaviors
The above characteristics show narcissistic personalities as strongly self-centered, lacking broad, flexible perspective-taking, and tending toward negative emotionality. The explicit expression of grandiosity is clear and hides an underlying core of vulnerable inadequacy. Implicit in this is the binary disjunction or splitting pervasive in narcissistic psychodynamic mental functioning.

Hubris, related to narcissism, is a transitional feeling between negative and positive emotions because it is a character trait that often has forceful, manipulative, controlling, and exploitive goals. Hubris as extreme narcissism is characterized by egotism, self-centeredness, grandiosity, lack of empathy, exploitation, exaggerated self-love, recklessness, and failure to acknowledge non-manipulative boundaries.

This hubris state of severe arrogance typically accompanies forceful interpersonal control whether through intimidation or action. A common term for hubris is "pride," which may exist on a spectrum from healthy self-esteem (an uncommon use) to envious hostility and the wish to usurp or spoil another's valued possession.

Eastern Perspectives on Narcissism

In the East, narcissism correlates with the term and concept asmita.

I am using Sanskrit terminology to give you a sense of how developed these psychological ideas have been pondered and characterized. My own referenced text on Ayurveda and forthcoming text on Learned Mindfulness and the text by Dr. E.F. Bryant elaborate terminology and concepts.

Interestingly, the same word, "asmita," is used in two qualitatively different senses, one positive and the other negative. These distinctions come from the classic 2,000-year-old text, Yoga Sutras, by Patanjali, considered the formalizer of classical Yoga as part of orthodox Hinduism.

Asmita, ("asmi" or I am; "ta" or ness) in its positive sense, while retaining the meaning of "I" or individual ego---in a balanced way, refers to the internal object ("I") of meditative absorption. Here, it is not experienced as one's exclusive possession, but as the reflection of pure consciousness (i.e., purusha, atman).

Meditative absorption (i.e., dhyana, samadhi), using the buddhi (i.e., reality-based intelligence closest to pure consciousness) aspect of mind, hovers around the individual self in as close to this pure conscious awareness as possible. Thus, this nuanced consciousness-based realization is called---correctly---discriminative "I-am-awareness" (i.e., asmita).

If choices and behaviors that are more wholesome (i.e., satmya) discipline and healthfully shape Manas (i.e., mental functioning and choice), then the operation of Buddhi, the reality intellect closet to pure consciousness (i.e., atman), will be empowered. This beneficial influence refines the physical, etheric, and spiritual sheaths composing the individual self. This consideration, however, is not relevant in Buddhism because, in Buddhism, there is an axiomatic tenet of anatman (nonexistence of atman, purusha, and permanent self).

Classical Buddhism has an exquisitely developed psychology describing the individual as being a fluctuating aggregation of five factors called skandhas that impermanently hold together giving rise to an illusory sense of self. This self suffers from its central core of desirous attachments to itself and all else it can grasp. This narcissistic quandary is a focus of attention that meditation and mindfulness practices aim to address.

While the intention of classical orthodox Yoga is the cessation of suffering by its active practices aiming to un-embed consciousness from the physical body and material world, obstacles to this formidable task are numerous. Patanjali has proposed five such major hindrances called kleshas.

They are the following:

1.avidya (i.e., ignorance/nescience): the root and breeding ground of all obstacles. Patanjali defines its essence to be the mind's confounding the nature of the soul with that of the body.

2. asmita, in its negative sense as an obstruction, is unrefined egoism or confusing one's incomplete awareness as if it were complete awareness, that is, pure consciousness.

Asmita as a klesha or interference toward achieving self-realization is one of the primary forms that avidya takes. Asmita is the quintessential narcissism of egocentric, self-aggrandizing, grandiosity with blunted perspective-taking, if not core envy—the “narcissism” of the East.

3. raga: desire, attachment, and craving desirable objects to experience that one enjoys (i.e., bhoga, an unconsidered, even overindulgent, enjoying of life's experiences).

4. dvesha: aversion, repulsion of objects that one dislikes; the opposite of raga.

5. abhinivesha: clinging to life, fear of death; clinging to the survival of self-identity.

Narcissism: East and West

Human personality has universal, core features. Many of these attributes are traits that have temperamental status and serve as predispositions guiding personality formation. Still, there is the inherent flexibility of human nature. Its sources may be genetic, hormonal, constitutional, environmentally elicited, learned and shaped through supportive, caring relationships, as well as by indeterminate factors yet unknown. The interaction of all these paints the human portrait in surprising, innovative ways at each birth.

Narcissism is extreme self-overvaluation that is an obstacle to a balanced sense of self and an empathetic receptivity toward others. Healthy self-esteem, self-image, self-worth, and self-value are relevant values to achieve. These improvements in one’s sense of self are far from egocentric since the person humbled by healthy self-value knows that empathy, perspective-taking, understanding others, constructive dialogue, mutuality, and sharing are high-value character traits that resonate and benefit all people.
 
 
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Default May 16, 2019 at 05:28 PM
  #52
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Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
It's ok. I lived with Buddhist monks in my 20s, so I actually do "get" Buddhism.

And I don't have a problem with Facebook.

How a Narcissist Uses Facebook: Red Flag, Social media as a weapon

YouTube

YouTube

"Asmita": An Eastern Perspective on Narcissism | Psychology Today

I wish you the best of luck with your friend of 50 years. This is an important discussion b/c narcissism will always exist and how we deal with it, depends on what tools we use in our lives to stay connected to other people.

"Asmita": An Eastern Perspective on Narcissism
Narcissism is as old as the Himalayas.
Posted Feb 12, 2018




You lived with monks? Sorry to hear that. It really doesn't mean you get Buddhism.

I have my Master's in Buddhist Philosophy and Metaphysics and practiced for 25 years. That stuff you included reminds me of graduate school. Yuk. So many words. So wordy. That's a big problem with Buddhism. Very masculine and scholarly religion. Too wordy.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 05:32 PM
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Originally Posted by StreetcarBlanche View Post
It's ok. I lived with Buddhist monks in my 20s, so I actually do "get" Buddhism.

And I don't have a problem with Facebook.

How a Narcissist Uses Facebook: Red Flag, Social media as a weapon

YouTube

YouTube

"Asmita": An Eastern Perspective on Narcissism | Psychology Today

I wish you the best of luck with your friend of 50 years. This is an important discussion b/c narcissism will always exist and how we deal with it, depends on what tools we use in our lives to stay connected to other people.

"Asmita": An Eastern Perspective on Narcissism
Narcissism is as old as the Himalayas.
Posted Feb 12, 2018





You can't talk about something relative from the absolute level. There are two realities, relative and absolute. People always get this confused when they study Buddhism.

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Default May 16, 2019 at 05:34 PM
  #54
This thread is taking a weird turn. Requesting it be closed.

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Last edited by DechanDawa; May 16, 2019 at 06:37 PM..
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Default May 16, 2019 at 07:55 PM
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Hi DechanDawa.

As we evolve in life, so do friendships and relationships...well in theory.

If friendships aren't enriching our lives, and we simply hang onto people out of habit or obligation then this dynamic can become very tiring and cause resentment.

My advice is that if you feel that you are the only one doing all the giving, and your 'friend' continually refuses to evolve and take strides to move forward with you...then it's time to hang up your spurs.

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