When a narcissist ex-friend hoovers

I told my lifelong friend but now ex-friend I didn't want to email anymore. I am having her emails immediately routed to the trash file. I haven't blocked her completely but I am staying No Contact and not responding to any of her attempts to communicate.


I haven't blocked her on Facebook because I don't want a bunch of drama and because I don't go on there that often.

But in the past week she's been posting "likes" on my timeline as if nothing happened.

Today she also sent a Happy Mother's Day greeting to me via email


The point is...we had an exchange of harsh emails that I felt ended the friendship -- as I finally decided I can't take this decades-long abuse any more. It is no longer a friendship of value to me. It seems false and now I feel she is probably a covert narcissist.

It has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety. I don't think that is the role friends should have in one's life.

I guess I think she is a covert narcissist. She never admits she is wrong and never apologizes after arguments but just goes on as if nothing happened. It has caused me to have cognitive dissonance.


Today she used our childhood nicknames! She knows how to push buttons. And also always includes something about the length of time we have been friends.

She said in her email today that a decades long friendship can withstand "differences of opinion." I don't call it that. I think we said hurtful things. I apologized. She did not. Note that in this email she didn't apologize. She never never never apologizes.


I am not going to respond. Maybe she is "testing" me to see if I will still be there as her narcissistic supply in the future. I know that No Contact seems like a no brainer but ending a decades-long friendship feels painfully complicated.


Guys, it is really painful dealing with a covert narcissist.


I am staying No Contact. I just don't want to block her because I would be afraid she would retaliate with a smear campaign and frankly I can't handle that right now.

I am just staying quiet.