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Newly Joined
Member Since May 2019
Location: Italy
Posts: 1
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#1
I am shocked. How could I not realize? He was always busy (finding more interesting things to do), he was sending me pics of him bare-chested in front of the mirror (vane and insecure), I would always be the one chasing him to see him and he would never speak honestly and about his feelings.
How could I not see it? How could I be so naive? I made this illusion up in my own mind and didn't want to think it wasn't true. I did all by myself. I was the prisoner of my own mind. I need to find the way to be able to see this next time I go out with someone. I need to be able to find the signs that show me that he is distant and too much into himself to see ME. I am giving too much and they take too much without any exchange. Why do I attract these people? What do I need to change? I am begging for attention and love without realizing. I need to listen to myself better. I remember when I was on hols and I received the 1st picture of him half naked in front of the mirror. I thought he missed me and was jelous because I was with another guy (a friend). But no, he sent me the pic because he's as insecure AF and needed my attention. I felt weird, as I didn't like it, but went along with it and played the game. He kept sending me pics, and the more he sent the more I felt weird. When we were sleeping together I could never sleep properly relaxed with a deep sleep. I would always wake up hundred times and feel anxious. I didn't understand why. I thought I was excited to see him. It was my body and mind telling me to run away, but I didn't, I didn't get it. I thoguht this was the ideal situation and I was just being stressed from family and work. I should have listened more carefully. How can I listen to myself more carefully and pick up the signs my own subconscious is trying to hint me with? |
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Anonymous44076, Bill3, Open Eyes, seesaw
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
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#2
Hi Eva85, welcome to PC. The positive thing about what you posted is that you have seen this guy is strange. People are going to continue to shock and surprise you during your life. We all pretty much learn as we live and interact with other people we come across. I think you have an idea of how you WANT to be "in love" and find a partner, but that doesn't mean someone that catches your eye is going to be the right match for you. Often beauty is ONLY skin deep too. And as you experience life you are definitely going to notice that reality. There are a lot of superficial people out there in our world of humanity.
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New Member
Member Since May 2019
Location: Mound
Posts: 3
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#3
I am in the same boat. Demanding attention from others when I should be 100% focused on myself 24/7 (because deep deep down I know that’s all that can fix my brokenness). I let others push me around, I get my hopes up, I destroy every relationship I feel like I could’ve had a chance at. It’s like I ruin it on purpose, and maybe I do because subconsciously, I know that I shouldn’t be focusing on cute boys instead of myself. So my advice to you is to realize that your subconscious is smart, and tells you what you need. Listen to it, and take it with a grain of salt because your mind can lead you into thinking things that are not real, like believing that a relationship with person X could be perfect if A B and C happens... You are not in total control of the future, but your subconscious is a guide that can direct you in one way or another. I was in a relationship that I subconsciously knew wasn’t going to last, but I wanted to keep it going so badly. BECAUSE, he made me feel some type of way. Good/bad/neutral he made me feel something. I craved his attention,
Possible trigger:
Last edited by bluekoi; May 28, 2019 at 10:12 PM.. Reason: Add trigger code. |
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