advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
bpforever1
Magnate
 
bpforever1's Avatar
bpforever1 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: earth
Posts: 2,063
5 yr Member
1,598 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 23, 2019 at 03:09 PM
  #1
I've been wasting my time on online dating apps, specifically okcupid. It is just me but men are really eager to meet right away in person. They give me their phone number or say they want to meet in my town. I'm flattered but am concerned about the safety of such a situation. So far, I've been ignoring requests or trying to gauge them for their true intentions. I believe, half of them want sex although I state I am seeking friends. I met people in Asia through another paid dating app. But, here in the states, it seems to be free for all. I hear on the news about people meeting strangers and getting raped near my hometown. Thus, I'm just playing by ear meaning I'm trying to be cautious. I don't think it is wise to meet strangers from a free dating app in my hometown. So, I will just wrap it up and call it a day. I think online dating is not safe here where I live. It is unfortunate but this is reality.
bpforever1 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949, Anonymous44076, MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky

advertisement
Crazy Hitch
ɘvlovƎ
 
Crazy Hitch's Avatar
Crazy Hitch When reality sets in
 
Member Since: Nov 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 18,527 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 23, 2019 at 04:28 PM
  #2
I understand your concerns. Maybe go with your gut.

As a side. I met my partner through eHarmony. We met in a very public place - a cafe - that was at a cafe in the suburb next to where I live.

Our follow up dates were in public places too. A walk on the beach, watching movies etc.

It was quite a while before my partner came to may place.

You state that you're seeking friends. Are you on a dating app to find friends? Or do you mean that you'd like to be friends first with someone / get to know them better before dating them?
Crazy Hitch is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
MickeyCheeky
 
Thanks for this!
MickeyCheeky
Anonymous44076
Guest
Anonymous44076 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default May 23, 2019 at 07:24 PM
  #3
Hello bpforever1. You can use logic and good judgment to keep yourself safe. Meet in a safe public place for dates. Do not accept rides from a new date. Don't go to their home and don't bring them to yours. Don't tell them your specific work or home locations. Limit your alcohol if you drink and make sure that it is served directly to you from the staff and not handed to you from your date.

I dated on and off via Match for 3 years. I did not have any bad experiences....just dates that didn't work out. I've heard good things from others about Match and EHarmony except that Eharmony does not allow separated folks or gay folks. Just a heads up.

I've heard that there are apps designed more for casual sex rather than dating. I think Tinder is like that but I don't know. The only one I used was Match. And of course an app designed for consenting adults to meet and have casual sex is very different from predators raping women.

What do you mean by dating not being safe in your area? Are you living in a war zone or a turbulent ghetto?
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous43949
 
Thanks for this!
AspiringAuthor
Anonymous43949
Guest
Anonymous43949 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default May 25, 2019 at 07:00 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpforever1 View Post
I've been wasting my time on online dating apps, specifically okcupid. It is just me but men are really eager to meet right away in person. They give me their phone number or say they want to meet in my town. I'm flattered but am concerned about the safety of such a situation. So far, I've been ignoring requests or trying to gauge them for their true intentions. I believe, half of them want sex although I state I am seeking friends. I met people in Asia through another paid dating app. But, here in the states, it seems to be free for all. I hear on the news about people meeting strangers and getting raped near my hometown. Thus, I'm just playing by ear meaning I'm trying to be cautious. I don't think it is wise to meet strangers from a free dating app in my hometown. So, I will just wrap it up and call it a day. I think online dating is not safe here where I live. It is unfortunate but this is reality.
I don't know what their intentions are, but trust your instinct. Even if you feel safe, take cautionary measures such as meeting in public places. But don't accept the offer to:
a). Ride in his car
b). Come over to his place (even during the day)
Unless and until you feel completely safe with that person.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
bpforever1
Magnate
 
bpforever1's Avatar
bpforever1 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: earth
Posts: 2,063
5 yr Member
1,598 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 27, 2019 at 01:52 PM
  #5
I got off the dating app. I really had no intention of meeting anybody. I just wanted to chat with others. I know this is not nice so I got off and hope to stay away from the dating apps. I dated a while back may be about 4 years ago. I met some people and did not like anybody near my hometown. I did communicate with one nice man but he seemed more interested in what I have and not me. So, I think it is best for me to stay away from these sites. I am really not in the position to date now. I am still recovering from my psychotic break and have no money nor transportation. I don't think it is wise to bother others when their intentions are entirely different from mine. I should not have bothered to write this thread but realized afterwards that I just wanted to chat with others.
bpforever1 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous44076, AspiringAuthor
downandlonely
Legendary
 
downandlonely's Avatar
downandlonely has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 10,760 (SuperPoster!)
5 yr Member
10.6k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default May 27, 2019 at 01:55 PM
  #6
I had the same issue with okCupid. I really just wanted to meet friends, but that is not the purpose of the site.

I did make the mistake of meeting guys too soon and doing things I didn't really want to do. Eventually I came to the same conclusion as you, that it is better for me not to date. Honestly, people on these sites are looking for casual sex or a serious relationship. I don't want either. So I'm not going to waste anyone's time anymore.
downandlonely is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Anonymous44076, AspiringAuthor
Anonymous44076
Guest
Anonymous44076 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default May 27, 2019 at 02:02 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by bpforever1 View Post
I got off the dating app. I really had no intention of meeting anybody. I just wanted to chat with others. I know this is not nice so I got off and hope to stay away from the dating apps. I dated a while back may be about 4 years ago. I met some people and did not like anybody near my hometown. I did communicate with one nice man but he seemed more interested in what I have and not me. So, I think it is best for me to stay away from these sites. I am really not in the position to date now. I am still recovering from my psychotic break and have no money nor transportation. I don't think it is wise to bother others when their intentions are entirely different from mine. I should not have bothered to write this thread but realized afterwards that I just wanted to chat with others.
Nothing wrong at all with just wanting to chat with others without sex or commitment Bpforever. I think it's very astute of you to note that dating sites aren't the way for you to meet that goal. Have you heard of MeetUp groups? There are lots of them all over the place. They are not dating groups...just fun ways to socialize with people via shared interests. All sorts of ideas...you can check it out online if you are interested. It's a non-pressured way to make friends. Volunteering is another option. The satisfaction of helping others while also having connection without the expectation of dates or sex.

I wish you healing energy while you continue to recover from your break
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
AspiringAuthor
~Christina
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
12.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 25, 2019 at 04:12 AM
  #8
Do you have meet ups in your area? That would be a good way to safely meet other people. Or volunteer at a animal shelter or food bank etc.

__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
~Christina is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Thanks for this!
AspiringAuthor
Jybee
Junior Member
Jybee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2019
Location: NY
Posts: 12
3 yr Member
Default Jun 27, 2019 at 09:40 AM
  #9
I don't like online dating
there are a lot of freaks
Jybee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:37 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.