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Default May 24, 2019 at 06:16 AM
  #1
I've always wondered this. Over the years I've seen many instances where people are recognized or receive an award for something that is the opposite of what they are. Once at work a woman received "Employee of the Month" recognition, yet everyday she showed up to the office wearing bedroom slippers and would bring a crockpot to plug in at her desk so she could eat and socialize at her desk instead of doing her job. And customer complaints proved she was not doing her job. I've seen students at schools receive awards for "being kind and inspiring others", when in fact they're known by the student body for being rude and are observed pushing other students in the hallway. Yet consider this, if you go to the hospital for brain surgery, are you going to want a surgeon that got to where he/she is by brown nosing? (Yes, i've seen people get into dental school and medical school because of who they know). It seems that somewhere in this world, honesty, integrity and skills should still matter, right? Or do I need to accept that brown nosing gets you places and skills don't?
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Default May 24, 2019 at 07:03 AM
  #2
Yes. Unfortunatelly.
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Default May 24, 2019 at 12:44 PM
  #3
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Originally Posted by lovethesun View Post
I've always wondered this. Over the years I've seen many instances where people are recognized or receive an award for something that is the opposite of what they are. Once at work a woman received "Employee of the Month" recognition, yet everyday she showed up to the office wearing bedroom slippers and would bring a crockpot to plug in at her desk so she could eat and socialize at her desk instead of doing her job. And customer complaints proved she was not doing her job. I've seen students at schools receive awards for "being kind and inspiring others", when in fact they're known by the student body for being rude and are observed pushing other students in the hallway. Yet consider this, if you go to the hospital for brain surgery, are you going to want a surgeon that got to where he/she is by brown nosing? (Yes, i've seen people get into dental school and medical school because of who they know). It seems that somewhere in this world, honesty, integrity and skills should still matter, right? Or do I need to accept that brown nosing gets you places and skills don't?

Brown nosing works some of the time for some people that know how to manipulate but if you ask if that's the way it always works I would give you a resounding no. Thing is brown nosing only gets someone so far even in the times it works, it doesn't work on people that re able to recognize the behavior and are above such manipulations. The people that give awards to those that brown nose are those that are likely just as shallow. Brown nosing will get you somewhere in the immediate situation but when things change and they always do... if you haven't been earning the accolades, trust me your lack of work and proven skills will come out in the end. It sucks to see people that seem to in the moment, get ahead but keep in mind that those people likely not, at least not in most cases, keep getting ahead by this.

Slow and steady wins the race, always always always . Stick to having integrity, honesty and hard work and trust me, it will always pay off but usually it is a longer term reward, that you don't see right away. In y 40 or so years of working this is one lesson that I've found has been true in my life

Ignore the b*** kissers and stay the course, you'll not only end up ahead more than likely but even at worst it's not ahead but equal to others, you have a legacy of knowing you EARNED your position and place in life and that, my friend is far more reward than the shiny award that sits on a shelf and eventually just collects dust.
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Default May 24, 2019 at 09:02 PM
  #4
Hello lovethesun,

this is a great topic that you've raised and I am sorry you are feeling disheartened. Sycophants are emotionally quite shallow and under-developed. Have you ever met a shallow and under-developed person who presented with inner peace and true happiness? Unlikely. True peace does not come from trophies and awards. it comes from within. Therefore a person with a severely limited capacity for sincere human connection (such as a sycophant) is highly unlikely to be at peace. They spend every moment of the day trying to take advantage or manipulate. I would not call that "winning," would you? Sounds more like misery.

Honesty and hard work are indeed appreciated in this world. Appreciation does not necessarily mean a trophy or award. Yes, I have seen people at work be complimented or acknowledged in ways that I found very odd. But I've also noted the hard workers, the empaths, the ones who don't cheat. I personally have acknowledged them both directly and to management. If I do that, I know there are plenty of other humans out there who do so too. Do you do that yourself? Rather than focusing on less than stellar colleagues, do you make a note of great workers and find ways to show appreciation for them? One day I sent a simple 3 line email to a colleague who worked through something very difficult with a client. She came to me in tears because she was so grateful to feel appreciated on a tough day. The email only took me 5 minutes.

What may be important here is your perception of "winning" in life. If you feel unsuccessful in life because you are not being given awards, it may be helpful to reflect on attainment versus inner peace. Or competition versus personal happiness.

I wish you peace, hope, and a bright future. You may be appreciated at some point in the future when you really don't expect it.

Last edited by Anonymous44076; May 24, 2019 at 09:19 PM..
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Default May 25, 2019 at 06:24 AM
  #5
This is something that bothers me also. It goes on at my work a lot and I get so frustrated. I can say that while I see people get away with an awful lot for far too long, it does usually catch up with them in some form or fashion. But unlike you or I who would feel some kind of shame or humiliation for being called out for our bad behavior... these folks don’t feel that so they carry on with their nonsense and to us it appears they “got away with it.” That’s my theory anyway....
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Default May 27, 2019 at 11:22 AM
  #6
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Hello lovethesun,

this is a great topic that you've raised and I am sorry you are feeling disheartened. Sycophants are emotionally quite shallow and under-developed. Have you ever met a shallow and under-developed person who presented with inner peace and true happiness? Unlikely. True peace does not come from trophies and awards. it comes from within. Therefore a person with a severely limited capacity for sincere human connection (such as a sycophant) is highly unlikely to be at peace. They spend every moment of the day trying to take advantage or manipulate. I would not call that "winning," would you? Sounds more like misery.

Honesty and hard work are indeed appreciated in this world. Appreciation does not necessarily mean a trophy or award. Yes, I have seen people at work be complimented or acknowledged in ways that I found very odd. But I've also noted the hard workers, the empaths, the ones who don't cheat. I personally have acknowledged them both directly and to management. If I do that, I know there are plenty of other humans out there who do so too. Do you do that yourself? Rather than focusing on less than stellar colleagues, do you make a note of great workers and find ways to show appreciation for them? One day I sent a simple 3 line email to a colleague who worked through something very difficult with a client. She came to me in tears because she was so grateful to feel appreciated on a tough day. The email only took me 5 minutes.

What may be important here is your perception of "winning" in life. If you feel unsuccessful in life because you are not being given awards, it may be helpful to reflect on attainment versus inner peace. Or competition versus personal happiness.

I wish you peace, hope, and a bright future. You may be appreciated at some point in the future when you really don't expect it.
SilverTrees....you are a genius. Thank you. I would have never thought of looking at things this way but you are so right. And great idea to take matters into your own hands by rewarding others truly worthy of it on your own.
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Smile May 27, 2019 at 11:23 AM
  #7
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Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006 View Post
Brown nosing works some of the time for some people that know how to manipulate but if you ask if that's the way it always works I would give you a resounding no. Thing is brown nosing only gets someone so far even in the times it works, it doesn't work on people that re able to recognize the behavior and are above such manipulations. The people that give awards to those that brown nose are those that are likely just as shallow. Brown nosing will get you somewhere in the immediate situation but when things change and they always do... if you haven't been earning the accolades, trust me your lack of work and proven skills will come out in the end. It sucks to see people that seem to in the moment, get ahead but keep in mind that those people likely not, at least not in most cases, keep getting ahead by this.

Slow and steady wins the race, always always always . Stick to having integrity, honesty and hard work and trust me, it will always pay off but usually it is a longer term reward, that you don't see right away. In y 40 or so years of working this is one lesson that I've found has been true in my life

Ignore the b*** kissers and stay the course, you'll not only end up ahead more than likely but even at worst it's not ahead but equal to others, you have a legacy of knowing you EARNED your position and place in life and that, my friend is far more reward than the shiny award that sits on a shelf and eventually just collects dust.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. You are right. Especially the part about an award on a shelf that collects dust.
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Default May 27, 2019 at 12:11 PM
  #8
This reminds me of that saying...."It's not what you know, but who you know that gets you ahead". So, yes, often the brown nosers do get ahead even when they don't really deserve to. This also has been revealed very recently here in the US when it was exposed that some wealthy celebrities and other wealthy people were getting their children into top colleges by paying others to lie for them and even cheat on SAT exams. So, yes, often people do get ahead even when they don't deserve to. Sometimes, like with this recent college scandle people do get caught and end up becoming and example to let everyone know, this is very wrong, even against the law. Unfortunately, not everyone gets caught.
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