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Old 06-12-2019, 08:00 AM #31
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

So firstly, an old lady is meant as a partner. There are no involvement with firearms. His "bodyguards" is a word created by people here, not me. I've used the word protection, meaning anything. These guys are people who look after him, sometimes people do this. It's often just called being a good and trustworthy friend.

We didn't meet online, we met when I volunteered at the shelter. I live about an hour from him so I can't see him every day. I refer to him as my date and would rather be cryptic in the event I'm recognised as you all seem to think this is shady. This probably wasn't the place to post this.
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Old 06-12-2019, 09:55 AM #32
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

Jp31,

Do you not see this all as ridiculous?

Even if this were truthful, do you not see participating in it as being less than the intelligent thing to do?

Consider this please. Given a friend or colleague being in the same situation what would you consider this all to be? Likely you would find it a little far fetched. But going on the assumption it was as matter of fact, how would you go about counselling your friend on the matter? What would you say to her? Would you encourage her to pursue this friendship or acquaintance? Probably not as being an outsider looking in you would see the inappropriateness of the whole thing and out of concern for your friend's safety you would strongly discourage her from getting tied up in all this. You would warn your friend accordingly and do everything you could to make her see the whole situation as incredibly alarming and one she should run away from instead of getting involved in.

And that is what I/we are doing. We are being that concerned friend.
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Old 06-12-2019, 10:36 AM #33
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

Yes, people are only responding out of concern and care for your safety and well being. No one means any harm by their comments and concerns.

I would also personally be most wary of someone whose ex had held them by the throat with a knife. Why? Because that indicates an extremely volatile relationship that became violent and you donít know his level of participation in it. Why was he with her for so many years? Was it an abusive relationship on both partners behalf? Do u know all the details? That on top of the protection as you name it, and a past that was ďdarkĒ, I would be very very wary of this man.
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Old 06-12-2019, 11:11 AM #34
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

ďSometimes people do thatĒ? So you are saying itís normal for friends following people to restaurants and sitting at the next table over at all times? I lived on two continents and know ton of people, Iíve never been on a date with ďfriendsĒ looking over a guy. Itís because itís not something that takes place. Itís just not happening.
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Old 06-12-2019, 11:26 AM #35
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jp31 View Post
Well, he's not my boyfriend but we've been dating and it looks hopeful. I visited him one day but noticed the same guys following him everywhere he went. They even stay outside his apartment when he's coming and going.

We went for breakfast and they were sat at a table next to us. I caught him nod at them and they all stood up, they went outside briefly and returned and nodded at him. After that, we went into town to do some shopping and they were in the distance, but never left his sight. They don't give the vibe of being friends, but respectable towards him, and very protective of me?

Does anybody have any ideas on what is happening? I feel like it's not my business to ask him. All ideas are hugely appreciated

you're dating him, you have every right to know about some people that if not his acquaintances would appear to be stalking. Why would it not be your business to ask? Asking questions that would involve people outside you two that are always present would be something that I think he should be explaining up front in the first place and it kind of bothers me that he hasn't said something on his own. Could be a ploy that he is trying to look more important than he is?
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Old 06-12-2019, 11:35 AM #36
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

late reply - missed other responses.
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Old 06-12-2019, 12:49 PM #37
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

I got the impression from what you described that you traveled to stay with him and were there with him for several days. Thanks for clarifying.

Iím not sure what to say about the situation. Iíve never seen anyone who has people who follow them and are protective, vehicles whisking them away due to impending danger, conflicting stories as to why. He was being protected from a threat of violence, but he was also an elected public official. It just doesnít make sense.

I once had a bf who made up stories about how he was a gang member back home, when I met him in college. He thought he was impressing me with his tough, street smarts. None of it was true. He was just a rich kid sent out of state to a private university with an over-active imagination and low self esteem. But they were just stories, not anything I witnessed.

My worst fearful concern for your safety was that you might have gotten into a sex trafficking operation and could be a victim. But it looks like days have passed, you donít feel threatened, and nothing bad has happened to you. Iím very glad for that.
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Old 06-13-2019, 04:42 AM #38
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

So certainly not being trafficking that's for sure. We've spent days together where we've just been sat at home and not really doing much, as the weather is pretty poor we don't do much apart from watch movies and eat god awful food.

The impression I got about being whizzed away in the car was that someone was at that time possibly a danger, or could put him in danger. The people who take him places, and are looking over him always keep tabs on him, but from what I've learnt his past relationship was his first, and it was going well until she had an affair and he caught her. He suffers from Ptsd after a very serious set of incidents which he refers to as unfortunate events which if done differently, he would of changed.

A court order had declared that him and his ex partner must not have contact, however she is now dating the individual who arranged and set up my date 8 years ago. My reasoning behind us being taken away so quickly was possibly that she was there alongside her cronies and this could of possibly posed a legal complication or a threat to him. I know this entire relationship breakup has screwed him up, as he has scars from obvious self harm, many antipsychotic drugs and mood stabilisers, however he is being reviewed to reduce them soon as no relapse for 5 months.

I believe that the protection measures where there when we had our first few dates to protect him from possible setups or attacks by the other parties.

We met a really nice man who knew him well, and I had an insight of how his relations are built by businesses. He visits this business every few days, they always greet him in a forigen language and he responds, sounds like "peace upon you" or something like that. He often asks my date if he's working, how am I, he will overpay for the food, and he always tells me that being nice goes both ways. He supports their business and helps them with finances whilst they often send food at the end of the night to the shelter.

By now I'm faiy confident that nothing sinister is going on, and we've had no ordeals. He's planning to move closer to his new job within the security services soon which is ironically in my town, if he was too involved in organised crimes or some kind of syndicate then he wouldn't be able to leave it so easily, surely?

His guys have said that when we have nice weather, we will go on a picnic with him and his old lady and we can just focus on being normal, I guess.
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Old 06-13-2019, 10:02 AM #39
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

I didnt read all the replies, so maybe i have missed some details. Average guy, body guards, people following? Maybe itís the skeptic side of me, but iím just having a difficult time believing this. What advice or support related to mental health are you asking for?
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Old 06-13-2019, 10:23 AM #40
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Default Re: My boyfriend has protection?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goodquestion View Post
I didnt read all the replies, so maybe i have missed some details. Average guy, body guards, people following? Maybe itís the skeptic side of me, but iím just having a difficult time believing this. What advice or support related to mental health are you asking for?
I'm not asking for anything mental health related.
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