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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#1
Has anyone ever rejected an invitation from someone due to that person being forced to invite you? I believe when this happens, the invitation is not genuine since the only reason they invited you is because someone told them too. I've had this happen many times but the most recent I'll use as an example. I was at a friend's house for an event. After the event was over, her brother and his friends were heading out to his friend's house. I am not close to her brother, I know him but I'm not friends with him. And we are not friends with his friends. Well as they were heading out, my friend's mother told him he needs to invite me and my friend, which I found odd since we're all adults.
He invited us because my friend's mother told him to but we both declined. In situations like that, I believe people who are forced to invite you are only doing so out of obligation. Do you believe forced invites are genuine? Have you ever accepted an invitation that was forced? I feel like when this happens, the person who was forced to invite someone else is secretly hoping their invitation was turned down. If they really wanted someone to tag along, they would have invited the person without being told to do so. That's why I never accept forced invitations. Have you ever been forced to invite someone and secretly hope they decline? Just wondered. |
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unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Mar 2017
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 3,273
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#2
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#3
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#4
just say no. life's to short to go to places you don't want to go to with people you don't want to be with. other's will get over the no or they won't, either way, life goes on.
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rdgrad15
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#5
I'm a bit strange in that I don't invite people if I don't want to...even when others expect or suggest that I should. If I don't like being in someone's company, I don't bother unless I have to work with them for example. While I understand the concept of "all are invited" that's not my way. My stuff is invite-only. Similarly, if people I know don't invite me to something I don't think too long or hard about it. No harm, no foul. I received a fake, very late invite to a wedding once. I didn't go. I was judged for that by several in my circle but I didn't care. If you want me at your wedding, have the good manners to invite me when you send out initial invites...not to replace someone who bailed. I thought that was rude but I was deemed rude for declining. Ah well
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#6
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Canada
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#8
I was raised you invite everyone or you invite no one at all. With that said though I realise that not everyone believes this so if I don't get invited it doesn't much matter. As for those invites you think weren't made so willingly, I sometimes feel more insulted at getting them than I would be had no invite come at all. The worst is when you are the second or last choice to be someone's "plus one". I think it perfectly okay to turn something like this down, you need not feel guilty.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#9
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WishfulThinker66
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2014
Location: US
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#10
I can see both sides on this. I'm invited to the wedding of a distant relative this summer and I'm pretty sure her parents told her to invite my side of the family. I don't mind because it gives me the chance to see people I wouldn't get the chance to see otherwise.
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rdgrad15, WishfulThinker66
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#11
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Magnate
Member Since Jun 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,285
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#12
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I guess what I am saying is never do something someone else is pressuring you to do and that goes for inviting including other people in those things important to you. Yeah I mentioned invite everyone or no one but there are times such as above that that becomes ridiculous. |
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rdgrad15
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#13
Personally, I don't think anyone should be forcing anyone to invite people to anything...weddings or otherwise. It's a boundary issue. An invitation should be freely offered, not coerced. Same idea with gifts.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#14
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#15
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#16
That's why wedding registries, bridal showers, and baby showers bother me. Commercialism and materialism taking over. Spending money on others is mandated. When I got married, I didn't have a registry or a shower and everyone thought I was crazy....I wanted folks' company...not their money. I was even invited to one wedding where the invitation said: "no gifts please, money would be preferred." Tacky to the nth! My former therapist (a wife and mother) is the only woman I've met who agreed with me: "Oh yes, the wedding industry in the U.S. is disgusting...it has nothing to do with love or marriage."
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#17
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#18
Thank you. Some people assume you're anti-marriage or babies when you say things like that. I'm not. And I actually do enjoy celebrating others' milestones and even giving gifts....but it should be in my own way in my own time....not mandated....that's not a true gift then. I was reminded of it when you mentioned forced invitations.
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rdgrad15
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,740
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#20
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unaluna
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