am i a loser?

I am 19 years old and still not have had my first kiss or dated anyone. I had the longest crush on my best friend I met in college this last year, and he treated me so differently than anyone else we knew. Mutual friends would get mad at how close we were. I would sometimes think he liked me but in the same breath we were just friends. I feel kind of lame I still have not dated anyone.

Did anyone else wait a long time to date someone? Is it weird I have never kissed anyone?

Hi ms24.

Being intimate with someone doesn't really mean much if you aren't into that person and/or they aren't into you. This is something you really don't want to rush, believe me when the right time presents itself your first kiss will be something worth remembering. It will happen I promise.

Be kind & generous to yourself ms24, and welcome to P.C.

No it is NOT weird that you haven't kissed someone. You see, movies and songs present these things very differently from reality. I have a friend who is in her 30s who has never kissed someone or been on a date or had sex with someone. She's successful in her career and has lots of friends. It's just that she hasn't developed that other aspect of her life yet. And she's much older than you. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Each of us is on our own path in life. It's not simple or black-and-white. There's no formula even if social media suggest that. You are on your path and you will make your own way in life. You just need to learn to trust yourself. That is key. Trust me, I'm much older than you and the most important thing I can tell you is that peace and happiness come from within us. We can certainly share our joy with others but they cannot create it for us. So, if you are doing your own thing and following your own path, you are far more likely to reach peace and happiness.

Take a breath. Relax. Take another breath. Your future is bright! One moment at a time. It's not a race. You'll find your way.

(Re: title - no you are not a loser. You're an individual and that is beautiful!)

No of course you are not a loser. It's not weird, either. It sounds like you feel social / societal pressure to kiss someone or date someone. 19 is very young, btw. Childlike. Wait until you find someone you actually want to date. You have all the time in the world.

There is nothing wrong with you.

I thought there was with me at your age and I made the mistake of trying to find acceptance where I shouldn't have. I made some really dumb choices as a young adult many I have paid for my entire life. Please don't place yourself in the same situation.

Instead, concentrate on developing and cultivating existing relationships and finding the opportunities to meet new people in safe situations (I tried to meet them in bars and we all know what sort of thing that leads to over and over). Get active doing things you enjoy. That is the best way to find a like minded person with which you have something in common as grounds for building a relationship. That is the way you step out of the box in an effort to find one.

I think everyone who repsponded are right. Its not weird to be never kiss or been kissed at nineteen. My suggestion is to be in relationship because you want to and not because you feel pressured. As wishfulthinker wrote cultivate your present friendships and look for ones in safe environments. Maybe join some special interest groups. Perhaps consider joining meetup. I'm a member there myself. I joined a cooking class where I met some good women friends.