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LiteraryLark
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Unhappy Jun 16, 2019 at 10:17 PM
  #1
I feel so lonely, but I always fall for people who could never love me back.

I'm deeply in love with my best friend whom I've known for almost 14 years, but she doesn't love me the way I love her. I asked her out and we dated for a few months long-distance, but she was going through a poly phase until she accepted an engagement, so I called it off. But while she was engaged, she was committed solely to him. She ended up breaking it off...and went straight into dating again. Not me, though.

I'm madly and wildly in love with my professor, but not only is he in a position of authority but is engaged. I need to get over him, and I'll admit I'm crazily obsessed and afraid I'll be found out. But he's a great fantasy and the idea of him makes me super happy.

I just found out the crush I have on my coworker has a girlfriend.

The other coworker I have a big crush on is madly in love with another coworker (who is married and yet teases the hell out of him and leads him on).

Out of the three classmates I like, one has a girlfriend, one has no interest, and I don't think the other person is the same orientation.

I'm 26 years old and have never dated anyone for more than three months.

I've tried online dating sites but all I've ever gotten was creepers and red flags.

I'm tired of being alone all the time. I'm tired of feeling that no matter how hard I try, I'll spend the rest of my life alone and unloved. I want romance, I want to get married, I want to have children. I feel so undeserving of love, like love is unattainable and not meant for me.

I want to be someone's priority, not someone's second choice because there was nothing better. I want to feel loved.

What do I do? I don't know what to do, but I want love, too.
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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 03:00 AM
  #2
You are NOT: Stupid, crazy, lazy, terrible, horrible, unloveable, unworthy, worthless, useless, evil, horrid,dumb,shallow,vapid,undeserving or insignificant.
You are human.
You have flaws.
You have gifts.
And that makes you fantastic.

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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 03:00 AM
  #3
Literary Lark,
Hugs hugs hugs. I do find you lovable in so many ways! Unfortunately, love can't be forced. We find it when we least expect it and if it becomes too painful (because we love them more than they love us), we might have to distance ourselves or take a long break from the person causing pain. Obsession can make us lose perspective. Fantasies in our head aren't real. If our fantasies start becoming painful then that is a signal that we need to disengage and stop them. I realize that sometimes this is hard to do but in the case of the professor, when you are done with school--that obsession will fade when classes end so long as you don't "feed it". Try to use that great imagination of yours for something else? I know this is easier to say than do. I am sorry you are in so much pain. Unrequited love is painful. Find some distractions? More hugs to you.
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Default Jun 17, 2019 at 08:36 AM
  #4
You are very worthy and lovable. Age 26 is not uncommon to have only had short-term relationships and have not yet met ‘the one’. I met my h at 26. I was ready to meet someone nice, stable, and didn’t play games with commitment. And there he was! Lol.

It sounds like your friend just wasn’t the right sexual orientation for you. The fantasies with unrequited love obsessions are maybe a coping mechanism as they are safe because they are unavailable.

If you want a committed relationship, and you find the right one, you will have it. Keep your mind and heart open. Don’t waste your heart on unavailable ones. You have much to offer and someone who is available will see that in due time.

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