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New Member
Member Since Jun 2019
Location: New York
Posts: 2
4 2 hugs
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Jun 18, 2019 at 09:48 AM
#1
I only recently realized that I have intimacy problems and ten had another realization around what a loveless childhood I'd had, how I literally never saw my parents display a single moment of intimacy or affection for one another.
I hadn't realized how toxic this was until I examined it at my therapist's last week. What a crushing, devastating moment that was. How was I ever supposed to formulate a loving relationship in adulthood when I had absolutely nothing to work with? I've been inventing love as I went along, using my limited experience in this area, usually badly. And I've had problems with every romantic attachment I've ever entered into. They start out well but eventually I find myself shutting down my and distancing myself from my partner. It's destroyed one good marriage and another incredibly meaningful relationship. I have to find a way to stop this. I want to so badly. I'm a passionate, loving, gentle man who loves love. Does anyone have advice? Last edited by bluekoi; Jun 18, 2019 at 10:13 AM.. Reason: Move to own thread. |
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 Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes
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 MickeyCheeky
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Jun 18, 2019 at 02:29 PM
#2
Quote:
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| MickeyCheeky, sama3033
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Bill3, MickeyCheeky, Open Eyes
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
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Jun 18, 2019 at 03:06 PM
#3
That was the first step, sama3033! Now that you've acknowledged the cause you can start working on the coping skills that are necessary and on the best solution for yourself like theoretical has already wisely said better than I ever could! Trust me when I say that you're doing GREAT by taking these steps! They're not easy but they will be worth it in the end! Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, sama3033!
 
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| Open Eyes, sama3033
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
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Jun 20, 2019 at 11:26 AM
#4
I agree with the two other posters, much respect and hugs.
 PS my parental units were what you stated (and much more). I have had some abusive relationships with users and abusers who groomed me etc .... I do not need my fur groomed by abusers. Now I have a loving marriage with Papa bear. I have much belief you will also find a lasting loving relationship and will be able to make the necessary changes. Please keep us updated. Many of us here have big, attentive ears.  You sound like a lovely person and I send you gentle hugs.
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Last edited by Fuzzybear; Jun 20, 2019 at 11:38 AM.. |
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