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LadyShadow
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LadyShadow Learning to Adapt and Grow in a Changing, Challenging World From Behind the Shadows
 
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Frown Jun 19, 2019 at 04:08 PM
  #1
Hello everyone,

I haven't posted for a while, even though I have been struggling with this issue because I have been working on dealing with a lot of it on my own.

My sister and I have basically alienated each other because of her boyfriend/husband and whatever issue they have with me. Since Christmas, things have been shaky and there have been a lot of fake smiles and fake phone numbers exchanged - basically she was weeding me out and avoiding me because of the fact that I opened my mouth about her man smoking weed to my parents right after he was in the hospital with a serious lung issue.

Anyway, they punished me for that, and they are still punishing me, even though I had apologized and begged for forgiveness. So in retaliation on my part, I said I would never speak to her again, because after I was hospitalized last year for almost 10 months, I got really tough inside and I no longer put up with anyone's stupid crap, including theirs.

Things are bad, really bad. My sister and her man moved in because he hasn't found a job yet, (his job let him go after the hospital scare). Now that they have moved in, I have been ignored, and now my parents blocked off the entire first floor for their apartment which is the only access point to the backyard and where I have spending time with our dog. It has been my only solace and freedom to sit with the dog outside and enjoy the upcoming summer.

Now I am not allowed to go down there at all.

My mom is really scaring me. She said I should avoid downstairs all together to avoid a confrontation because my sister put this house in her name for my parents two years ago. I didn't think it was that bad, because when I have seen my sister upstairs, I have said hi to her and she sort of just nods. But things are much worse than I thought, and my mom is really scaring me by saying I could cause us all to get kicked out.

I never had a confrontation with either my sister or her man, but I know that her man is capable of exploding violently because he does it to complete strangers when they are out together. I had no idea that he hates me that much now that my parents fear a really bad confrontation.

Anyway, summer is just beginning, and my birthday is next week and I know I will be spending it alone even though my so-called family lives with me. It's horrible, and my heart is so broken. I cry all the time for my sister, because in our entire relationship, we have never even had a fight. Now things are so bad.

I guess I just wanted to vent because I have been looking for work, and my parents plan on selling the house by next year. I won't be moving with them, because I plan on finally being on my own.

It just feels so bad not having family anymore - but at least I still have my mom and dad. I love my sister and I pray for her and I even pray for her man too even though it seems they both hate me pretty bad and things are worrysome for my parents.

My heart is broken, and I feel so alone.

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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 04:33 PM
  #2
Hi LadyShadow. I wondered why I had not seen you around recently. I am so sorry that your heart is broken and you feel alone. You still have us. Your PC friends remain and care.

I think it could be good for you to live on your own though I understand you loss and sadness. For what it's worth, I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Two of three sisters hate me and wish harm on me. But I try to focus on the stable and kind one...I know she loves me and wants me to be happy. I hope you can at least maintain your relationship with your parents. Though I fully understand how much it hurts to lose your sister's love.

When is your birthday? Are you comfortable sharing so we can acknowledge it here on PC?

I wish you peace and hope. You deserve it.
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Default Jun 19, 2019 at 04:49 PM
  #3
That’s horrible. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

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LadyShadow
Wanderer of Distant Stars
 
LadyShadow's Avatar
LadyShadow Learning to Adapt and Grow in a Changing, Challenging World From Behind the Shadows
 
Member Since: May 2012
Location: North Carolina, USA. Originally New York
Posts: 23,952 (SuperPoster!)
10 yr Member
7,644 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jun 19, 2019 at 04:53 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverTrees View Post
Hi LadyShadow. I wondered why I had not seen you around recently. I am so sorry that your heart is broken and you feel alone. You still have us. Your PC friends remain and care.

I think it could be good for you to live on your own though I understand you loss and sadness. For what it's worth, I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Two of three sisters hate me and wish harm on me. But I try to focus on the stable and kind one...I know she loves me and wants me to be happy. I hope you can at least maintain your relationship with your parents. Though I fully understand how much it hurts to lose your sister's love.

When is your birthday? Are you comfortable sharing so we can acknowledge it here on PC?

I wish you peace and hope. You deserve it.
Thank you so much for replying SilverTrees, I really appreciate it. It won't be for a whole year till I am able to move out, I didn't even get a job yet. I know a lot of people suffer with disputes and broken ties with family, I just never imagined in a million years it would happen to with my little sister.

I want so bad to sit down and talk to her about this, but I know what the outcome would be. Her boyfriend is a very hard man, there have been many times in which he has talked about cutting people out of his life without even a thought, including his own father. I don't want to put her in any kind of predicament. She works 12 hours a day and supports the two of them, so if I make her feel bad about what's going on, she may in her heart feel obligated to choose. I know this is probably not healthy, but I rather them both hate me by being silent than putting her in the middle.

I know this is probably bad too, but I have hate in my heart for him because my mom has never been worried about a confrontation, so something must have been said.

The best thing is to move on. My sister and I have been strangers for many years, but we never ever had a disagreement.

My birthday is June 26th. I think I am going to hang around PC a lot more these days- thank you again for reaching out. I am so sorry things are bad with you and some of your sisters, but I can honestly say I know how much it hurts.

Thanks again friend, I hope you have been well.

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